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  • So, Valentine's Day is tomorrow,

  • and everyone knows that's expensive sometimes.

  • They're saying it's gonna be expensive 'cause it's Saturday.

  • I don't know what difference that makes, but anyway,

  • before the show we asked the audience if they had any tips

  • on how to celebrate Valentine's Day without breaking the bank.

  • And here are some responses that we got

  • from some of you in the audience.

  • Thank you, Mimi.

  • Um...

  • Mintam Ginniutyun--Gooyun.

  • Mintam? Hi.

  • -Hi. - Hi, tell me your name.

  • I'm sorry.

  • Oh, my God.

  • Hi, Ellen!

  • Hi. Tell me, how do you--

  • how do you pronounce your name?

  • Mintam Nguyen.

  • Right. Okay.

  • So, Mintam says-- this is her idea of saving money

  • on Valentine's Day. The ice cream at IKEA is $1,

  • or you can get a kid's meal, and the ice cream comes free.

  • [laughter]

  • I mean, nothing says romance like IKEA.

  • I mean, that's a great idea.

  • Whoo! - Yep.

  • And if the date's going well,

  • the bedroom section's right there.

  • You get to show your flurgen to your yerken.

  • Smart. - I'll show you my flurgen

  • if you show me your yerken, you know what I mean?

  • All right, let's move to Mike Pettite.

  • Mike, where are you, Mike Pettite?

  • Hi, Mike.

  • Mike, this--this is interesting.

  • You say, offer to take your significant other

  • to a concert way in the future,

  • and give them an iTunes card so they can download the music,

  • then later say you couldn't line up any tickets.

  • [laughter]

  • The best of both worlds.

  • You get credit on the day, and they forget.

  • Wow.

  • Yeah. No, they don't forget, Mike.

  • Why don't you just get 'em a used iTunes card, as well?

  • Are you here with somebody?

  • I am here with my two daughters and my wife.

  • Okay. So, how's that for a husband

  • right there?

  • Is he more romantic than that?

  • I hope.

  • No, not at all.

  • And Courtnee...Pevahouse--Pevyhouse?

  • Hi. Hi, Courtnee?

  • With two Es by the way, in case you thought it was a Y.

  • It's not. It's two Es.

  • Courtnee, how do you say your last name?

  • - Peavyhouse. - That's right.

  • All right, you wrote, "My boyfriend works

  • "in a funeral home, and my fear is he'll bring me

  • "leftover flowers from someone's funeral.

  • "I'm crossing my fingers that doesn't happen.

  • "If you work at a funeral home,

  • there's a trick for saving money."

  • Has he done that before?

  • No, but today's my birthday,

  • so I'm scared when I come back

  • I'm gonna get double leftover funeral flowers.

  • Two different flowers.

  • Yeah. Oh.

  • Well, let's hope that doesn't happen.

  • I live near Oprah, and I yanked something out of her yard,

  • and I want to... give...give that...

  • Courtnee is up there.

  • Yay.

  • That's right out of Oprah's yard.

  • Oh.

  • Thank you.

  • Thank you.

  • Put that in some dirt when you can.

  • Thank you. - Freshly yanked out.

  • Marissa Jessup, where are you?

  • Hi, Marissa.

  • Okay, this was-- this I think is creative.

  • It says walk around naked, and your spouse won't notice

  • you forgot to get a gift.

  • [laughter]

  • I tried that once, and it worked for a while,

  • and then the restaurant said, "You're gonna have to leave."

  • [laughter and applause]

  • I had to...

  • Have you done that?

  • Maybe.

  • My mother-in-law's watching, so...

  • Are you married?

  • Yeah. - All right, well...

  • she knows that you've seen each other naked.

  • I don't think you have to worry about your mother-in-law

  • like, "Oh."

  • Jashell Melendez.

  • Jashell? Is that right?

  • Yeah. - Oh, good, I got one right.

  • Jashell, you wrote, "Get tickets to the Ellen show.

  • They're free."

  • Yeah!

  • [applause]

  • Wait a minute.

  • These are free, these tickets?

  • I'm gonna have to change that.

  • But you brought up a good point, Jashell.

  • The best Valentine's Day gifts are free.

So, Valentine's Day is tomorrow,

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