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Hello everybody my name is Ray.
It’s been a while since I’ve made a vlog and a lot has happened ever since
so I was kinda indecisive about what to share today.
My life is so meaningful.
But among the many things that I could talk about in my vlog today,
there’s one particular thing that I must talk about, and it just happened last week.
First of all, I need to provide you guys some background information.
For all of you out there who doesn't know yet, I live on top of a mountain.
It’s true. It takes at least 30 minutes for me to get to more... civilized and populated areas.
There’s some pros and cons to this, first of all it’s much more quiet up here and second of all we never get any floods.
The one time we did get a flood was the time when I broke the pipe in the bathroom
and ended up destroying all of (our) expensive furniture,
which I should not be talking about.
On the flip side, well, here's your story for today!
With a residence so embraced in Mother Nature, I sometimes find some things that are not so typical
in a regular bedroom. Well come to think of it, not so typical in any kind of room.
So last week when I was in front of my desk minding my own business doing stuff,
I heard some buzzing right there, the right hand side of my ceiling.
That’s where I have my overhead light and I call that place “the spot”,
you’ll see why in a moment. Now what I saw was a dozen of winged termites, so termites with wings,
that are just flying around the light. So no biggie, they're there, they're not bothering me, just buzzing away.
They're happy, I'm happy. So, I just went on and continued with my work.
Then my sister came barging into my room like it's the end of the world and
told me that she also had “a dozen” of winged termites in her room.
So I came up with a brilliant idea,
I was like, why not we open the lights in our corridor and open our doors,
then the termites in our room will be attracted to the light in the corridor,
voi la! Problem solved.
What a brilliant plan it was, until... about 10 seconds later.
So I went out there, being the genius I thought I was, and turned on all the lights in the corridor.
And for a moment, my genius plan did work, our “dozen” of termites in the room did fly out into the corridor.
But like I said, it only took me about 10 seconds to realise how dumb I was.
So at the end of the corridor is our semi-open balcony and as soon as we turned on the lights,
we saw that there were also a dozen termites just flying around at the end of the corridor in the balcony.
And my sister was like, holy shit holy shit you shouldn’t have done that.
And so I looked to where my sister was pointing and I saw a swarm,
an enormous swarm of termites just flying into the corridor.
I kid you not, it was like hundreds and hundreds of them and they made a big, threatening, buzzing noise.
I was half expecting it to form into the bug devil in the Constantine movie and attack me or something.
What made it worse was that our walls, they're white. Guess what?
That just emphasized how fricking enormous the swarm was.
So I shut the lights as fast as I could and me and my sis,
we were squatting there pondering about the meaning of life for like a full 5 minutes.
So eventually, we thought of a solution, we're gonna light a candle
and put it outside the window so that the light will lure out the termites.
You see, this is the time when being me sucks, while my sis can provide the candle, provide the lighter, provide the love and support,
guess who has to go through the devil-possessed swarm of termites that threatens to eat you alive
and put that freaking candle outside the window? The elder brother.
My life is so meaningful.
And so I did. And the plan worked. The next morning we found out that there was like,
a golfball-sized hole up on our ceiling and that's where all the termites were coming through from.
So that’s what happened to me last weekend. Cool story huh?
I’m a big fan of nature, I really am, but I can’t say that I’m passionate about
nature coming barging into my room and scaring the crap out of me.
This is not the first time something like this happened though.
I’ve had beetles, bats, all kinds of strange stuff in my room before.
No I’m not talking about baseball bat "bat", I’m talking about Batman "bat".
It was when I was in high school, when I was again sitting in front of my desk minding my own business doing stuff,
when I heard scratching noises from “the spot”, yeah, remember the spot? Yeah, that spot.
For some reason I only had my lamp on that night and what I saw in the spot
was this little tiny shade of shadow as it spread into a canvas and swooped down.
I’m not gonna lie, I screamed like a little girl and charged right outta my room.
And no, I'm not gonna demonstrate.
It turned out to be a baby bat and I hired my dad to capture it and after we captured it, we released it into the wild.
So yeah. I live with bugs and bats, just the normal lifestyle, I guess.
Ok so, I hope you guys enjoyed that little story of me, my house, my room, and sometimes my accidental companions.
It's been a while since I vlogged so I think I'm gonna keep it a schedule,
like once per month so that you guys can catch up on some of the interesting stories
that happened to me during this period of time.
And I've been really busy recently, I've been working on my website, renovating it.
I've been producing an online course, as you guys requested. So I've been pretty
packed in my schedule and I'm going to go visit a few campuses for speeches. Next week and the week after.
So life has been pretty stuffed and meaningful for me and I hope you guys are doing well as well.
So as always, right here you can see my previous video,
right here you can listen to me on air on ICRT on VidTalk.
Right here is my website, it's not done yet, so when you click on it I'm not sure where it'll take you.
But for future viewers, it might be done. So I hope you guys will like it when it is done.
Right up there is the subscription button, please subscribe to me if you want to hear more from me,
if you want to see more English vlogs, if you want to see me talk about English learning and basically just language in general.
Or if you're just interested in me, and want to become a fan.
Er, why would anyone want that? I don't know.
So subscribe! And...as always, that is a wrap, thank you guys for watching and I'll catch you guys next time.
See ya!
I said no demonstrations,
but for those of you who stayed until the very end, I was like...
(screams like a little girl)
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Terrible Terrible Stories About Ray's Bugs & Bats (白蟻蝙蝠與阿滴)

24338 Folder Collection
Ray Du published on May 23, 2015    許允迪 translated    沈家后 reviewed
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