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  • [OHHHH YEEEEEAH]

  • [Mmmmm...]

  • -Wow, this is a really nice place! -Thanks!

  • Look, Dan...

  • There's something I have to tell you... I...lied about my age.

  • Your profile said you weren't interested in girls under 21, but...

  • -We had so much in common, and-- -Woah, woah, just...

  • How old ARE you?!

  • 20.

  • That's totally fine!!

  • You know, I actually lied to you a little bit too.

  • -You did? -Yeah...

  • My name's not actually Dan.

  • It's...it's Jane.

  • Yeah! Not many girls wanna go out with a guy called Jane!

  • Don't worry about it! I'm not actually a natural brunette!

  • I can't even speak French! I don't know why I lied about that one!

  • I'm not actually a woman!!

  • What?!

  • Is that bad?

  • -I'm sorry, we were opening up... -Sorry...you're not actually a woman?!

  • Yeah, it's just, like, a lot of makeup. I REALLY like you...

  • -Why would you... -We just had so much in common!

  • OH! We kissed...

  • [Sigh] I'm sorry.

  • You know what, it's fine. To be honest... I'm not even a man!

  • -Seriously?! -Yeah!

  • Wow. Okay... I guess we're back where we started from?

  • You know what? Let's just pick up where we left off.

  • Fine!

  • Oh, wait. Do you have a condom?

  • -Everything alright? -Uhh, condoms, condoms...

  • Yeah, not my dress!

  • -Know the feeling! Not even my house! -WHAT?!

  • What are you people doing in my house?!

  • -We're not robbing you! -Yes! I am the painter!

  • And I'm the VCR repair man!

  • I don't HAVE a VCR!

  • I can fix that.

  • You know what? Don't bother. BECAUSE I'M ACTUALLY ROBBING THIS PLACE.

  • Well I guess it's a good job that I'm actually an UNDERCOVER COP.

  • -[gasps] -And THAT right there is my partner.

  • Uhhh...

  • Sorry, sweetheart, but I'm not your partner...

  • I'm his.

  • No! Wait, so you're gay?

  • -No? -Actually that does make us gay.

  • What?!

  • [off screen] What a twist!

  • Who are you?!

  • Oh, I'm Jack. You all thought I was a lamp...

  • But I'm actually... not a lamp...what?!

  • -I'm sorry, what is actually going on here? -I thought you said this sketch would make sense?

  • I lied...I lied to you all.

  • -What?! -Sorry, that 'action' was for me, right?!

[OHHHH YEEEEEAH]

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