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  • >> Jon: WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW!

  • (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

  • LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THIS IS A GREAT NIGHT FOR US.

  • WE'RE ALWAYS EXCITED ON THE SHOW TO FIND NEW TALENTED VOICES THAT

  • CAN CONTRIBUTE TO OUR PROGRAM SO WE ARE VERY PLEASED TO WELCOME

  • OUR NEWEST CONTRIBUTOR FROM SOUTH AFRICA, MR. TREVOR NOAH!

  • TREVOR, THANKS FOR JOINING US. NICE TO SEE YA!

  • WELCOME, SIR! >> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

  • >> Jon: HOW ARE YOU? WE'RE REALLY DELIGHTED THAT YOU'RE

  • GOING TO BE JOINING US. (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

  • AND I KNOW YOU FLEW IN JUST YESTERDAY FROM SOUTH AFRICA.

  • >> YEAH, I JUST FLEW IN AND BOY ARE MY ARMS TIRED!

  • >> Jon: OKAY. ALL RIGHT THERE, OLDIE BUT A GOODIE. VERY NICE.

  • >> NO, NO, SERIOUSLY, I'VE BEEN HOLDING MY ARMS LIKE THIS SINCE

  • I GOT HERE.

  • YEAH, I NEVER THOUGHT I'D BE MORE AFRAID OF POLICE IN AMERICA

  • THAN IN SOUTH AFRICA.

  • IT KIND OF MAKES ME A LITTLE NOSTALGIC FOR THE OLD DAYS BACK

  • HOME.

  • >> Jon: THAT'S JUST -- C'MON, ARE YOU SAYING BLACK PEOPLE IN

  • SOUTH AFRICA TODAY DON'T GET ASSAULTED AND KILLED BY POLICE?

  • >> OH NO, NO, I MEAN THEY DO, BUT SINCE APARTHEID ENDED

  • THEY'RE NOW ALSO GETTING KILLED BY BLACK POLICE.

  • PROGRESS.

  • (LAUGHTER)

  • >> Jon: WELL THAT'S, THAT'S, LISTEN, BABY STEPS.

  • BUT YOU'RE RELAXED NOW, YOU'RE NOT NERVOUS, YOU FEEL GOOD.

  • >> I'M JUST A LITTLE BIT NERVOUS, TO BE HONEST.

  • BETWEEN YOUR COPS, AND, FRANKLY, YOUR EBOLA.

  • >> Jon: YOUR EBOLA, MY FRIEND! IT'S NOT OUR, BELIEVE ME, HE

  • MISPOKE -- YOU ARE FROM AFRICA, IT'S YOUR EBOLA, MY FRIEND.

  • >> NO, NO. NO,NO. SOUTH AFRICA, JON.

  • WE HAVEN'T HAD A SINGLE CASE IN OVER 18 YEARS.

  • IN FACT, MY FRIENDS WARNED ME, THEY WERE LIKE

  • "TREVOR, DON'T GO, DON'T GO TO THE U.S., YOU'LL CATCH EBOLA!"

  • BUT I WAS LIKE, "YOU KNOW WHAT, GUYS?

  • JUST BECAUSE THEY HAD A FEW CASES OF EBOLA DOESN'T MEAN WE

  • SHOULD CUT OFF TRAVEL THERE.

  • THAT WOULD BE IGNORANT."

  • RIGHT?

  • (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) >> Jon: SURE -- THAT, THAT

  • -- THAT WOULD BE IGNORANT.

  • YOU KNOW, I GUESS WE TEND TO FORGET THAT SOUTH AFRICA,

  • YOU KNOW, ISN'T, YOU KNOW, RIGHT NEXT DOOR TO LIBERIA. RIGHT?

  • >> IT'S 4,000 MILES AWAY.

  • >> THAT'S WHAT I, YEAH, I WAS CALCULATING IN KILOMETERS.

  • >> I'M SURE YOU WERE, JON, >> Jon: THANKS.

  • >> I KNOW. YOU KNOW WHAT,

  • TO A LOT OF AMERICANS AFRICA IS JUST ONE GIANT VILLAGE, FULL OF

  • AIDS HUTS AND STARVING CHILDREN WHO

  • YOU CAN SAVE FOR JUST FIVE CENTS A DAY!

  • BUT THERE'S A WHOLE OTHER SIDE OF AFRICA YOU NEVER GET TO SEE.

  • >> Jon: YEAH! YOU'VE GOT THAT VIDEO OF THE LIONS WHO CHASE

  • THAT BUFFALO, AND THEN THE CROCODILE COMES UP

  • AND HE GRABS IT, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? AND THEN HE GOES --

  • >> YEAH, YEAH, AND THEN THE BUFFALO GETS AWAY.

  • >> Jon: YEAH, YEAH YEAH!

  • >> YES. YEAH, THAT'S A GOOD ONE.

  • BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

  • >> Jon: NOPE, ME NEITHER.

  • >> JON, YOU KNOW WHAT? LET'S PLAY A LITTLE GAME.

  • IT'S CALLED "SPOT THE AFRICA".

  • >> Jon: THIS DOESN'T INVOLVE ME

  • IDENTIFYING ANYTHING ON A MAP, RIGHT?

  • >> NO, NO. I WOULDN'T DO THAT TO YOU.

  • >> Jon: THANK YOU.

  • >> JUST TELL ME WHICH OF THESE PICTURES WAS TAKEN IN AMERICA

  • AND WHICH IS FROM AFRICA.

  • >> OKAY, I GOT THIS. THE BEAUTIFUL HIGHWAY ON THE RIGHT

  • THERE, PROBABLY SILICON VALLEY, IT'S PROBABLY HEADING OFF TO

  • TWITTER THERE. THE ONE ON THE LEFT, CLEARLY BEEN SHELLED

  • BY REBELS, I'M GONNA GO WITH SOMALIA, MAYBE. AND --

  • >> ACTUALLY, THE ROAD ON THE RIGHT IS A SUPERHIGHWAY IN

  • CENTRAL AFRICA, THE PHOTO ON THE LEFT I TOOK FROM MY CAB ON MY

  • WAY HERE FROM THE AIRPORT.

  • (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) YEAH, THAT'S THE F.D.R.!

  • TRY AGAIN. TRY AGAIN.

  • >> ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT. OKAY, THIS ONE'S EASY. ON THE LEFT THERE

  • THAT'S THE "SUCCESS ACADEMY" IN HARLEM. ON THE RIGHT THERE WE

  • GOT, YOU KNOW, WE GOT HOMELESS KIDS. I'M GOING WITH IN SOMALIA

  • AGAIN. I THINK THAT'S MY GO TO REFERENCE.

  • SOMALIA. HOMELESS KIDS.

  • >> I'M SORRY, JON. THE ANSWER I WAS LOOKING FOR WAS

  • "CLASSROOM IN KENYA" ON THE LEFT AND "CHILDREN

  • IN DETROIT" ON THE RIGHT.

  • LAST ONE.

  • >> Jon: I HATE THIS (BLEEP) GAME.

  • ALRIGHT, NOW, I GET HOW THIS WORKS NOW. THE ONE ON THE

  • RIGHT THERE, THAT'S DETROIT, RIGHT? OKAY? AND THEN UH --

  • >> WELL ACTUALLY, THAT'S, THAT'S A SLUM IN JOHANNESBURG.

  • SOME PLACES IN AFRICA ARE STILL PRETTY (BLEEP).

  • >> Jon: ALRIGHT, I GET YOUR POINT THERE, TREVOR. BUT

  • YOU'RE NOT SAYING THAT THINGS IN AFRICA ARE BETTER THAN THEY

  • ARE IN AMERICA, ARE YOU?

  • >> NO, NO, NO, I'M NOT SAYING THAT. YOU GUYS ARE SAYING THAT.

  • >> THE UNITED STATES RIGHT NOW INCARCERATES MORE

  • AFRICAN-AMERICANS AS A PERCENTAGE THAN APARTHEID

  • IN SOUTH AFRICA DID. THE RACE GAP IN WEALTH IN THE UNITED

  • STATES RIGHT NOW BETWEEN THE MEDIAN WHITE FAMILY AND THE

  • MEDIAN BLACK FAMILY IS 18 FOLD. THAT'S GREATER THAN THE

  • BLACK-WHITE GAP WAS IN APARTHEID SOUTH AFRICA.

  • >> Jon: OH MY GOD. >> HERE'S THE AMAZING PART.

  • FOR SOUTH AFRICA TO ACHIEVE THAT KIND OF BLACK-WHITE WEALTH

  • GAP, WE HAD TO CONSTRUCT AN ENTIRE APARTHEID STATE, DENYING

  • BLACKS THE RIGHT TO VOTE OR OWN PROPERTY.

  • BUT YOU, YOU DID IT WITHOUT EVEN TRYING!

  • WE TRAINED FOR DECADES AND YOU JUST WALTZED IN AND WON THE GOLD

  • MEDAL.

  • >> Jon: WELL THAT'S, YOU KNOW, BLUNDERING INTO THINGS

  • IS HOW WE ROLL.

  • >> WELL, AT LEAST WE'RE GETTING BETTER, WE STARTED FROM THE

  • BOTTOM AND NOW WE'RE HERE. >> Jon: A LITTLE BIT OF DRIZZY.

  • A LITTLE BIT OF DRAKE RIGHT THERE. A LITTLE BIT OF --

  • >> I'VE NEVER HEARD OF HER. >> Jon: ALRIGHT.

  • >> I'VE GOT TO BE HONEST, JON.

  • AFRICA IS WORRIED ABOUT YOU GUYS. YOU KNOW WHAT AFRICAN

  • MOTHERS TELL THEIR CHILDREN EVERY DAY?

  • BE GRATEFUL FOR WHAT YOU HAVE BECAUSE THERE ARE FAT

  • CHILDREN STARVING IN MISSISSIPPI. IN FACT,

  • WE ARE SO WORRIED THAT ME AND SOME OF MY FRIENDS IN

  • SOWETO GOT TOGETHER AND I TOLD THEM, I SAID GUYS, FOR

  • JUST A FEW PENNIES A DAY, YOU CAN HELP AN AMERICAN.

  • >> Jon: THAT'S VERY KIND, TREVOR.

  • >> NOW THEY'RE EXPECTING SOMETHING FROM YOU IN RETURN.

  • THEY'RE EXPECTING AT LEAST A LETTER A MONTH.

  • >> Jon: NO, I KNOW. I KNOW HOW THAT GOES.

  • I KNOW HOW -- YOU HAVE TO WRITE --

  • >> IF YOU WANT, YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU CAN JUST DRAW A PICTURE.

  • >> Jon: WILL YOU PUT IT UP ON THE FRIDGE? THAT'S NICE.

  • >> OH AND YOU KNOW WHAT? WE WROTE A SONG FOR YOU AS WELL.

  • >> Jon: ALRIGHT. I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS.

  • >> YEAH, YEAH. GOES A LITTLE SOMETHING LIKE THIS

  • FEED AMERICA.

  • LET THEM KNOW IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME.

  • >> Jon: OH, NO! ALRIGHT NO, PLEASE! WE CAN'T --

  • >>♪ FEED AMERICA EVERYBODY NOW!

  • LET THEM KNOW IT'S

  • CHRISTMASTIME ♪♪ >> Jon: TREVOR NOAH,

  • EVERYBODY!

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW!

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The Daily Show – Spot the Africa

  • 448 6
    Angela Holster posted on 2015/03/18
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