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  • Were baaaaaccckkkkk, mothafuckaaa!

  • This city is a disease.

  • The night is filled with the cries of the innocent

  • as the unjust prey upon the weak.

  • Corruption runs through its veins like a toxin,

  • poisoning its citizens.

  • Crushing their every last hope they have...

  • except for one.

  • Me.

  • Batman.

  • Who are you talking to?

  • Ah, The Bloser,

  • the world’s most depressing superhero.

  • I don’t wanna talk about it.

  • Your name makes you sound likeloser.”

  • What?

  • No, it’s because I’m blue

  • and I’m a total bruiser.

  • The Bloser.”

  • Worst name ever.

  • Better than freaking Batma-

  • HUSHSHhhhshsh.

  • I’m picking something up

  • with my hyper-hearing!

  • It’s Commissioner Chad-Cop!

  • Let’s go!

  • What happened here?

  • He... [cough] he flew in and,

  • and teabagged everybody.

  • Huh-uh! What?

  • He said he wanted to turn the whole world

  • into black and white.

  • The world’s already gray to me...

  • Shut up, Bloser.

  • Oh my god, he’s so depressing.

  • Who did this?

  • You...you have to stop him.

  • We all look...so...boring now.

  • He’s dead.

  • Just like I am inside.

  • There’s only one villain who could be so colorblind.

  • Ahhahahahahahahaha

  • and that one villain is ME!

  • EARL GRAY!

  • You!

  • Ah, the city’s favorite hero...

  • Batman...

  • and his sad little friend, Bloser.

  • Here to save the day right on shhhedule.

  • Haha, speaking of schedule...

  • it’s TEA TIME!

  • Damn that caf-fiend!

  • Let’s break his bank!

  • Agh! A diamond encrusted monocle!

  • He’s got so much bling.

  • Hahaha quite pathetic! Quite!

  • Do you really want to play with the upper crust?

  • How about some badminton?

  • In America we play BASEBALL!

  • Here, it’s about time I deposit

  • some of my stocks and BOMBS!

  • Lord Tourettes... NO!

  • Oh, why this shade looks just

  • perfectly GAY on me!

  • Oh no! It appears I’ve made

  • quite a mess. Butlers!...

  • ...do my dirty work!

  • Youre unemployed!

  • You were adopted!

  • Global warming!

  • No one loves you!

  • Youre getting old!

  • Your parents are dead!

  • Too soon.

  • Heheheheh.

  • We gotta take out Earl Gray!

  • We need something colorful!

  • Wait, I have an idea.

  • Red, shoot your eye lasers right when I tell you

  • and this might just work.

  • Red?

  • That’s not my name.

  • Do I really have to-

  • Yes.

  • Batman,

  • shoot lasers out of your eyes when I tell you-

  • I’M BATMAN!

  • What?! Impossible!

  • Hey Earl Gray,

  • you know what happens to criminals?

  • They go to prism.

  • Ah! Fan-FUCKING-tastic you two!

  • Youre heroes.

  • I was a hero before it was cool.

  • Crime. It will always haunt this city.

  • But where there are thieves,

  • justice will be watching.

  • Where there are liars,

  • the truth will rise to meet them.

  • And where there are villains,

  • there will always be one hero

  • ready to fuck their shit up.

  • Me...

  • Batman!

  • And me, The Bloser.

  • But mostly Batman.

  • JUSTICE HOOOO!

  • The Bloser!!

  • Wait, I can’t fly!

Were baaaaaccckkkkk, mothafuckaaa!

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