I’ve taken this selfie over 100 times make sure I look as hot as possible.

Ohh…Ned and Ariel got engaged. Like.

I hate this post I wish you would stop posing photos if you have a happy perfect life.

“North Korea’s Internet crashes, Okay, that’s cool and all, but can someone, like, feed us or something? says North Koreans”. Tweet.

Ahh…it took me over an hour to get that joke under 140 characters.

Just partying with my bros. Send

In reality, I only send you the pictures when I’m partying so I look like tons of fun.

Drove to the Chinese bakery for snack. Hash tag food porn. Post

I only take photos and ethnic food so you know that I’m more culture than you

Not to call anyone out but I don’t have time for people who act like they’re still in high school. Post.

I’m definitely calling you out and you f*ing know who you are.

@Rihanna. You’re my spirit animal. Let’s be best friends. Hash tag mom. Tweet.

Notice me Senpai! I‘m your biggest friend.

Lol…ugly face. Send.

To be honest, I would never Instagram ugly selfie. Um..Snapchat lasts for like five seconds.

Slay queen you look flawless. Comments.

I know you definitely don’t want this account you probably never read this.

But I comment anyway.

Ashley Perez invited you to “Ashley’s Super Duper 1989 Listening Party”.

That sounds like could be fun so I say maybe.

Haha…I’m definitely not going to that sh*t cause maybe means no.

My father’s doctor who survived war-torn Korea.

My butts on the internet. I feel sad now. Tweet.

I totally forgot who I was second and saw in mirror thought.

Oh sh*t. An Asian man broke into my house. Tweet.

Is it racist that the first thought I had when I saw my reflection was I want Chinese food?

I’m definitely drunk.