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  • [theme music playing]

  • [alarm ringing]

  • -Everybody out into the [inaudible].

  • Come on.

  • [screams]

  • -[roar]

  • -[scream]

  • -Everybody out, now.

  • Get out, please.

  • Single file or we will be busted.

  • Move slowly.

  • [screams]

  • [inaudible]

  • Out, come on.

  • -Ohh.

  • Ahh.

  • Ah, ah, ohh.

  • [alarm stops]

  • That's.

  • No, no, no.

  • [crunch]

  • Ohh!

  • Ooh-ah.

  • How could Vlad do this to me?

  • -You and stairs make him laugh.

  • -Heugh, in the old days the count

  • would throw me off the battlements.

  • Heh.

  • I expected it from him.

  • But Vlad?

  • He's on his way to being so much worse than his father.

  • -Renfield?

  • -Eh, it's ther master.

  • He's in a terrible mood.

  • -Dad did all this?

  • -No, no, not your.

  • -Not my what, Renfield?

  • Say it, you servile wart.

  • -Not, not your father, miss.

  • -If not dad, then there must be another master.

  • Who?

  • -Vluh.

  • Ah.

  • -Ah?

  • -Duh.

  • -Spells?

  • -Vlad.

  • -He's been evil for one day, and you're

  • already calling him the master?

  • -Oh, please don't tell the count.

  • -It's not the count you have to worry about.

  • -Oh.

  • Mm.

  • -Its me.

  • -Oh no.

  • Vlad?

  • -I expect you'll be wanting to see me in your office.

  • -Was this all down to you?

  • -Well I thought you'd enjoy a little chat with the firemen.

  • -There is no excuse for this kind of behavior.

  • You're suspended for a week.

  • Now please leave the school premises

  • and report to my office in.

  • -Vlad.

  • -Oh.

  • Erin.

  • I've been looking for you.

  • -Get back, or I'll.

  • -Stake me with a blunt HP?

  • I know you're a secret breather.

  • -Vlad, please.

  • -Em.

  • Is that the best you can do?

  • Ah.

  • -Why didn't you?

  • -Ah.

  • Erh.

  • Arh.

  • -Erin.

  • Can you make a start on this place, please.

  • -Ha ha, oh.

  • I love the smell of chaos in the morning.

  • Ah, dear Vladi.

  • I knew he'd come bad in the end, with my genes.

  • -And my expert tuition.

  • To Vlad.

  • -Indeed.

  • -Long may he reign.

  • -Salute.

  • -Heh heh.

  • -Renfield!

  • Renfield.

  • -Mmph.

  • Mmph!

  • --[laughs] He's pinned him to the wall.

  • That's genius.

  • That is genius.

  • -Mm-eh-umph.

  • -Thank you.

  • -You?

  • How dare you humiliate Renfield.

  • That's my job.

  • A word of warning, Ingrid.

  • If I were you, I wouldn't try to compete with Vlad.

  • -And what makes you think he can match me?

  • -Please stay.

  • Stay.

  • Grrr.

  • Stay!

  • It's not our Vlad who's doing this.

  • It's his reflection.

  • -His reflection is too dangerous.

  • I can't reach him.

  • -Yes you can.

  • -I can't defend myself against him.

  • -Oh, the Vlad we know is still in there.

  • But not for long.

  • -You all wanted him bad.

  • Now you've got him.

  • Deal with it.

  • -Ohh.

  • This is not about your safety.

  • You're already a half fang.

  • Help the Vlad you care for or others will suffer terribly.

  • -It's too much.

  • Give him the strength to fight.

  • You must do this.

  • -OK.

  • Let me get this straight.

  • You want me to tell the baddest, the strongest vampire on Earth

  • that I believe in his good side?

  • -Yep.

  • -It's Vlad.

  • I have to suspend him for vandalizing

  • the school property.

  • -Hm.

  • Really?

  • -I need you you talk to him.

  • -Ahh.

  • Mm.

  • -We have an Ofsted inspector arriving

  • at this school any minute.

  • Do you know what that means?

  • -Not at all.

  • -If she sees the mess Vlad had caused,

  • it could affect our report and the future of the school.

  • -OK, Miss McCauley, leave it with me.

  • -Right, in you come, class.

  • I hope you've got your ingredients

  • for today's lesson, which is a chicken Kiev.

  • -What's up with you?

  • Has Vlad had a haircut?

  • He looks kind of different.

  • -Just ignore him.

  • -Have you had a row or something?

  • -So between you, you're going to need chicken or a vegetarian

  • substitute, lemon, butter, tarragon, bread crumbs,

  • and of course garlic.

  • I gather you're suspended.

  • You're not supposed to be on school property.

  • -So it's true.

  • You actually have gone bad.

  • Chucked out of home economics.

  • What's next?

  • Not handing in your history assignment.

  • Have you ever actually bitten anyone?

  • -Don't push me.

  • -You're still the same old, puny, little Vlad

  • who can't stand the sight of blood.

  • -Well done guys.

  • Mrs. Cotton, welcome to Garside Grange.

  • Alex McCauley, pleased to meet you.

  • -Hello.

  • Well, we'd best begin.

  • -Absolutely.

  • This way.

  • On second thought, how about a cup of tea?

  • -Lovely.

  • -I think what you're doing is great,

  • the chaos, violence, wanton destruction.

  • Although there is an inspector in school today.

  • -Oh, good, another breather to bite.

  • -Aha.

  • No, seriously, can we give it a rest until tomorrow morning.

  • I think we owe it to Miss McCauley.

  • -(IN DRACULA'S VOICE) Ah, the delicious Miss McCauley.

  • -You leave Miss McCauley alone.

  • --[laughs] And why would I listen to you?

  • -Until you're 18, I'm the one in charge.

  • Agh.

  • Argh!

  • Ahh.

  • Vladi, Vladi, Vladi, I just think

  • we need to be more sensible.

  • -We?

  • There is no we.

  • All right?

  • -Ahh.

  • Well.

  • What a wonderful view it is up here.

  • -Aheh.

  • -And round the corner here, we have our state

  • of the art science block, which really

  • must be seen to be believed.

  • And this is, of course, a poster wall

  • of all our after school activities.

  • We have music, theater, sport.

  • It's all part of what makes Garside

  • Grange a really special place to be.

  • -OK.

  • Sales pitch over.

  • Now can I see the science block, please?

  • -Renfield!

  • Ah, Miss McCauley.

  • Mr. Count, I'd like you to meet Mrs. Cotton, the Ofsted

  • inspector I was telling you about.

  • Mr. Count is the chairman of the board.

  • A really positive influence on the school.

  • -Well, one does what one can.

  • -About what we were discussing earlier.

  • The situation has developed.

  • -All sorted.

  • Excuse me.

  • Fetch me a pair of fang-cuffs and report to my chambers.

  • It's time to teach this boy a lesson.

  • -Look, just leave me alone.

  • -Actually, it was Becky I was after.

  • I wondered if you'd like to come around

  • for lunch, for a bite to eat?

  • -Yeah, all right then.

  • -Mm.

  • -And that's supposed to make me jealous, is it?

  • -Sorry, what was your name again?

  • -I really don't think it's a good for you

  • to be meeting up with Vlad.

  • He's dangerous, Becky.

  • -Yeah, I know.

  • -I just don't want you to get hurt.

  • -Are you jealous?

  • -No.

  • BECKY: I knew it.

  • -Becky.

  • You know, you're right.

  • I still really like Vlad.

  • And I thought he liked me, too.

  • Just promise me you won't go out with him?

  • -It's only lunch.

  • Erin?

  • [cough]

  • Ugh.

  • [bell]

  • -Fang-cuffs, one pair.

  • Do it yourself.

  • Gas mask.

  • -Ehh.

  • -Another one.

  • -Now we have one chance and one chance only.

  • -Ha ha, got it.

  • -Well done.

  • All we need now is the net.

  • And the, um?

  • -And a pitchfork, master?

  • -Now we're in this together, Renfield, you

  • and me, shoulder to shoulder against the-- not that close.

  • Shoulder to shoulder against the forces of evil.

  • -I thought we were the forces of evil.

  • -We are.

  • But it's just, you know.

  • It's just.

  • Fwah.

  • -Different?

  • -Exactly.

  • Now are you clear about the plan?

  • -I think so, master.

  • -No thinking about it, Renfield, especially for you.

  • -There you are.

  • -Bertrand.

  • Sorry, I've got a date with eight pints of fresh blood.

  • And no, I don't fancy going halves with you.

  • -Vlad.

  • Ingrid is sharpening a stake.

  • And I think it's got your name on it.

  • -Ahah ha, ha, ha.

  • Oh that is priceless.

  • -She's jealous of your power.

  • -Hm.

  • She wants to take you out before you become untouchable.

  • -Aheh, well, I'd like to see her try.

  • -Do you want me to deal with her?

  • -Deal with her?

  • No.

  • Bring her on.

  • Ah!

  • [roaring]

  • -Quickly, the argent-allium spray.

  • -[roaring] Gyah!

  • Ooh.

  • Argh!

  • DRACULA: (ECHOING) Vladi?

  • Vladimir?

  • Renfield, you idiot, you've given him too much.

  • [thwack]

  • RENFIELD: Ow ow!

  • -Vladi?

  • Phoo.

  • And welcome back.

  • -[hiss]

  • -Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

  • Slayer's finest fang-cuffs.

  • -Let me out or I'll-- eagh!

  • [roaring]

  • -Throw a wobbly?

  • -[roaring]

  • Daddy, help me, please.

  • --[fake sobs] You don't think, for a minute,

  • I'm going to be fooled by those crocodile tears?

  • -All right, fine what do you want?

  • -I want you to do what your father tells you.

  • -(DISTORTED) Never!

  • -Until the age of 18, at which point,

  • I want equal partnership, you and me, 50-50.

  • -All right, it's a deal, 50-50.

  • -Spit on my-- no, not mine.

  • Spit on your mother's grave.

  • -Why not?

  • Oh, we'll be stronger together.

  • Who knows what we'll achieve?

  • -How do I know I can trust you?

  • -Oh, great, after all these years,

  • I'm finally the son you want me to be, and you don't trust me.

  • Make up your mind, daddy, which Vlad

  • do you want, the old, fangless wimp you could

  • trust with your grandmother or me?

  • -Well you, clearly.

  • -Then let me out.

  • -Right, right.

  • -I'm going to make you proud of me.

  • -Master, not-- master, no!

  • -Shut it, Renfield.

  • What would you know of the trust between a vampire his son?

  • -Well, clearly, a lot more than you.

  • -Oh, ah.

  • Renfield!

  • Do something.

  • Renfield?

  • Renfield.

  • No.

  • No.

  • No.

  • No!

  • Ahhh!

  • Renfield!

  • [bell]

  • -Ooh, that'll be lunch.

  • -Vladi, Vladi, wait a minute.

  • You can just leave me like this.

  • -See ya.

  • -I'll die!

  • Renfield.

  • Renfield!

  • This hurts!

  • -Becky.

  • -Hey there.

  • -Come on in.

  • -Ooh, Gothic.

  • Very on trend.

  • [screams in distance]

  • Is that?

  • [screams in distance]

  • So, what's on the menu?

  • -Take a wild guess.

  • -Salmon.

  • Well, it doesn't matter if you haven't cooked anything.

  • I've got a packed lunch here, look.

  • We could share it.

  • Ah, aren't you hungry?

  • -Hungrier than you'll ever know.

  • -Me to.

  • -Ugh!

  • Garlic!

  • -Oh, I'm sorry.

  • I tried to cover it.

  • -Get out!

  • -But, but it's not my fault.

  • I swear it was Erin.

  • -Erin.

  • [screaming in distance]

  • -Are you all right?

  • Did he hurt you?

  • -No.

  • But he's not the guy I thought it was.

  • -He's just going through some stuff.

  • Deep down, he's still a good person.

  • -Hah, I think you're wasting your time with him.

  • -I don't.

  • -Tsk, tsk, tsk.

  • -Vlad.

  • Let me go.

  • [screaming]

  • -What are you doing?

  • Vlad, I'm your friend.

  • I'll get you some blood.

  • You don't need to bite anyone.

  • -Oh, I don't need to.

  • But I want to.

  • He's still in there, isn't he, the real Vlad?

  • -I'm the real Vlad.

  • I'm the powerful one.

  • [growl]

  • -I know you're in there.

  • Be strong.

  • You're stronger than him.

  • I believe in you.

  • -Ah.

  • Argh.

  • Oh.

  • Go.

  • Eagh!

  • -Vlad?

  • -Ingrid.

  • Dad.

  • -[moans, whimpers]

  • -It's Erin.

  • -[whimpering]

  • -I'm sorry.

  • -Stop, you're not supposed to be in school.

  • -I've got somewhere to be.

  • -Not good enough.

  • I've informed your father.

  • Leave the premises now.

  • -Later.

  • Ahh.

  • Dad, speak to me.

  • Dad.

  • Renfield.

  • Renfield.

  • -Oh, um.

  • Check his pulse?

  • Oh yeah.

  • -Dad?

  • -(WEAKLY) The blood.

  • -Dad.

  • [slurping]

  • -Turn on me, again, boy, and I will

  • personally fang-cuff you to a sun bed.

  • -So you're all right then?

  • -[laughs] You're so weak.

  • -I'm going to make you wish you'd

  • finished me when you had the chance.

  • -Oh, give it a rest, will you.

  • -Hm?

  • What?

  • -Make me.

  • -Hum.

  • Me and you in the cellar, now.

  • -Me?

  • -Oh, Ingrid, I'm so sorry.

  • -Vlad.

  • -[weak gasping]

  • -I need to get to the mirror room.

  • [children singing in distance]

  • -Listen, that'll be year eight.

  • -Oh.

  • -Oh, Jamie, just the man.

  • Mrs. Cotton, why don't you go ahead.

  • -Yes, of course.

  • -Vlad Count, he's still in school.

  • -(SINGING) 10 green bottles hanging on the wall.

  • 10 green bottles hanging on the hook.

  • And if one green bottle should accidentally

  • -Miss McCauley.

  • -Can you get him off the premises, pronto?

  • COTTON: Miss McCauley.

  • -But I've already told him that once today,

  • and he didn't seem to care.

  • -(SINGING) --green bottles hanging on the wall.

  • -Miss McCauley.

  • -I just need to get the school inspector away.

  • -Miss McCauley.

  • -(SINGING) And if one green bottle.

  • -Mrs. Cotton, is there a problem?

  • -They're hanging from the ceiling.

  • -Oh, well they always enjoy a good sing-song.

  • -What?

  • -(SINGING) 10 green bottles hanging on the wall.

  • And if one green bottle should accidentally.

  • -But they were hanging from the ceiling.

  • -Ah, Mrs. Cotton, I wonder if I might have a word.

  • -Mr. Count, I don't think this is the time.

  • Mr. Count!

  • Mr. Count.

  • -Marvelous.

  • That's very good news, indeed.

  • -News?

  • -Miss McCauley, goodbye.

  • And congratulations, once again.

  • A shining example of what a school can be.

  • -Thank you.

  • -Ahh.

  • -What was that all about?

  • -I simply made her understand what

  • a first-rate, hip teacher you really are.

  • -And Vlad?

  • -Back to his old self.

  • Perhaps a drink to celebrate?

  • -You are joking?

  • We've got clearing up to do.

  • Come on.

  • -[whispering]

  • -Vlad.

  • -Erin, it's too dangerous.

  • -I'll wait outside.

  • -No, just go!

  • -You took your time.

  • Nervous, are we?

  • I'm not the one who should be nervous.

  • -Hyah.

  • -Ah.

  • -You're never going to win.

  • -Gyah!

  • Ahh!

  • -What'll you do, fight me off forever?

  • -No.

  • No, I'm not.

  • I'm the one in control.

  • -Oh, you're not strong enough.

  • Bad idea.

  • -Oof.

  • -Vlad?

  • -I told you to go.

  • -But I knew you'd win.

  • It is all over, isn't it?

  • -He's part of me now.

  • How can it ever be over?

  • Phew.

  • -Where are you going?

  • -I don't know.

  • I need to sort this thing out.

  • Stay.

  • I'll help you.

  • When will you be back?

  • Vlad!

  • [theme music playing]

[theme music playing]

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