Name: Comedians size up Trump’s Iran ultimatum & Hegseth’s throttle | Have I Got News For You
Uploaded: 2026-03-29T23:03:30.000Z
Duration: 10 min 58 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

PSA: This is any airport in America right now, and that's gas.

You got gas prices, you got the Strait of Hormuz, you got the airports.

Nish, what do you— I'd like to start by saying that I'm here on a work visa.

So I just want to be incredibly clear: I am going to be telling people that I'm Cash Patel's nephew.

Can you do the eyes or you got to do the eyes?

The story is, with Iran fighting back and global economic catastrophe looming, it seems that President Trump has painted himself into a bit of a corner with this war, I guess we're still calling it.

Whatever the hell you want to call it, it is definitely a war we have already won, right?

Or we would— look, here's Caroline Leavitt on Wednesday summing it up.

President Trump dud is not bluff, and he is prepared to unleash hell.

Any violence beyond this point will be because the Iranian regime refused to understand they have already been defeated.

Doesn't that sound like a threat from, like, Bane from Batman?

You refuse to understand you have already been defeated.

Well, it's a little unclear on whether or not we've won the war or not,

but coming into this week, Trump backed himself into a corner.

How did he get himself out of that corner this week?

He said, "If you don't open the Strait of Hormuz in 48 hours, I'm going to bomb the shit out of you and all your energy stuff." And they were like, "Yeah, okay, bro." And then 48 hours later, he was like, "You know what?

We're going to give it five days." And then yesterday he was like, "You know what?

We're going to give it 10 days because negotiations are going so well." He's not negotiating with anybody.

But you know what he should say is, "Have you heard about the Epstein files or something?

Let's get back to those." Why would that be a problem with the president posting that he's having negotiations with them?

Iran State TV says that Trump capitulated.

There are no direct or indirect talks taking place with the Trump regime.

I'm not thrilled that I trust Iranian state TV more than I trust my president.

Our president insists that this deal is very real.

If it goes well, we're going to end up with settling this.

Otherwise, we'll just keep bombing our little hearts out.

Now, to the people in the relationship up here on the panel, is that an effective negotiating strategy?

Let's work this out or I will blow up our home.

Or we take your relationship advice from Donald Trump.

Isn't being in a relationship the only thing he's worse at than being president?

But yes, according to the president, if you don't take the deal, we will blow up the table.

The president has made it clear that you will not have a nuclear weapon.

And so we're keeping our hand on that throttle as long as it's hard as is necessary.

As long as it's hard, you keep your hand on that long and hard throttle.

And if that throttle's hard for more than four hours, you call a doctor.

Whenever I see Hegseth and Trump together on TV, I always think, "Yeah, this is a declining empire." And to be fair, I've come from a declining empire.

Well, to be fair, you come from a fully declined empire.

And let me tell you, lean into the decline, baby.

Well, we don't know for sure who's negotiating on the Iranian side.

Here's who's involved in the deal on our side.

JD is involved, and Marko's involved, and Jared Kushner's involved.

And Steve Witkoff, smart guy, is involved.

I'm going to be so big, oh, I don't want to talk about him.

Did it seem like he was surprised that he was involved?

Out of that cast of characters in Trump's cabinet, who does the Iranian government want to talk with the most?

I don't think anyone has ever wanted to talk to JD Vance.

And I would include his wife and children in that list.

We're hearing from sources at CNN who tell my colleague Kylie Atwood that Iran has actually expressed a preference for engaging in talks with the vice president, JD Vance.

One of the sources told us that the perception is that Vance would be intent on wrapping up the conflict more so than the other officials.

Also, JD Vance is the most likely to become the new American ayatollah.

You know for a fact that they insist on having JD Vance because they want to see if his head is really that size.

He's a one-mile argument against the concept of white supremacy.

Now, our administration is saying that the war is starting to ramp down.

They say that the Iranian excursion is almost over.

Question, though: what signs are happening right now that might indicate that we're still at war?

Subtitles ListPlay Video

Comedians size up Trump’s Iran ultimatum & Hegseth’s throttle | Have I Got News For You

stuff

matter

conflict

decline