Name: Mike Johnson Gives Trump Another Made-Up Trophy, Trump Reveals Mystery Gift from Iran: A Closer Look
Uploaded: 2026-03-28T21:32:13.000Z
Duration: 8 min 31 s
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Donald Trump got yet another made-up award and revealed the mystery present he got from Iran.

For more on this, it's time for "A Closer Look." The nation is at war,

Adverbs of manner

and Americans are overwhelmingly against it.

Today, the president held a Cabinet meeting and spoke directly to the concerns that are on everyone's mind.

So this pen is very inexpensive, but it writes well.

But I'm handing it out to kids that don't even know what they own.

"What is this, mommy?" And it had another problem.

So I take it out, and I sign it, and there's no ink.

but I can't have a gray thing with a big S on it.

And I could even paint the White House on it, sir, if you like, in gold.

Not bad." So the guy said to me, "You don't have to pay me, sir.

I'll give it to you for nothing." I said, "No, I don't want that.

I want to pay." He said, "What would you like to pay?" I said, "How about five bucks a pen?" He said he said, "That's all right.

And considering the war in Iran is costing a billion dollars a day, your pen savings aren't making up the difference.

I have so many questions about this story, but I have to go back to this part.

I'm handing it out to kids that don't even know what they own.

You think a kid doesn't know what a pen is?

They're in school all day, and that place is lousy with pens.

and they sure as hell know what a pen is because that's where the ink on the walls comes from.

Also, why midwar is this guy so obsessed with office supplies?

On Monday, he regaled the press with a super accurate history of the paperclip.

182 years ago, a man discovered the paperclip.

And everybody that looked at it said, "Why didn't I think of that?" I'm sorry.

Did you just want to be president because you thought it would look good on your application to Staples?

Why would I be a fit to the Staples team?

Obviously, the real crisis we're facing is not over pens.

Now, you might think the war is still going on, given the fact that the president recently threatened to obliterate Iran's power plants and unleash hell on the regime.

You know, you never like to say too early you won.

We won the bet in the first hour it was over.

We're not doing we're not doing the high-end pens.

Also, if you won in the first hour, why are you waiting until three weeks in to let us know?

And why is the Strait of Hormuz still closed?

And why does it seem like you're constantly changing the subject by talking about office supplies?

It was a military victory that will be discussed for centuries.

But before I get to that, who knows the history of the binder clip?

You it's interesting because you press well, you press down on this side.

They said, "Well, there's no way to get it open." And I said, "What if you press down and then wrote open right up?" Anyway, I had a secret,

and the secret was, "I'm going to I'm going to hold your papers." But whatever.

We're very disappointed with NATO because NATO has done absolutely nothing.

I said 25 years ago that NATO is a paper tiger, but, more importantly, that we'll come to their rescue,

And I want you to remember that we said this.

Again, this is making me feel like we didn't win in the first hour, because why would we need to be rescued if we already won?

The only ones who need to be rescued are us from your pen story.