Name: Sports War: March Madness Gets an AI Assist & NBA Cancels Strip Club Celebration | The Daily Show
Uploaded: 2026-03-26T21:37:37.000Z
Duration: 5 min 17 s
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This is Sports War, the show where we are legally not allowed to agree with each other.

So if I say ice hockey is the best kind of hockey.

Then I say, screw that, it's tonsil hockey.

I've been told by multiple people it's the best kind of hockey.

We're halfway through March, and my pea is green, which I hope is from St.

But it also means that March Madness is upon us.

And this year there's a foolproof way to pick the winner.

And if you haven't done so yet, it's time to fill out those brackets.

This season, though, some people are turning to AI to create the best bracket.

Not only can AI better inform your picks, it actually gives you better odds of avoiding that dreaded bracket buster.

And not good madness, like March Madness.

Whatever happened to just picking the school with the hottest mascots?

Plus, I tried using Grok to fill out my bracket, and

it just warned me that Jewish teams control the weather.

AI picking college basketball is the future I've been waiting for.

Letting AI write my bracket means I finally have the time to do things that I love, like letting AI my husband.

I haven't had a fake headache in six months.

And that brings us to my slot prop, Better Than Ice.

Let's move on to baseball, America's favorite sport in 1945.

Well, last night at the World Baseball Classic, Venezuela kidnapped a win from the USA.

The World Baseball Classic stunner for Team USA.

Venezuela scored the go-ahead, run late, and

shut down the Americans in the bottom of the ninth to win 3-2.

It is Team Venezuela's first championship at the World Baseball Classic.

Something I just learned about four seconds ago?

Being humiliated on the world stage is something we do on the battlefield, not the baseball field.

Shame on America's mostly Cuban and Dominican team for losing to Venezuela.

Actually, Desi, it was mostly white Americans on our team.

Desi, Desi, did you staple your wig to your brain again?

Venezuela is going to be part of America in a few weeks.

Which brings us to our wallet invasion, Better Than Ice, which soon-to-be US state will win the World Cup.

Moving on to the only thing more American than baseball, strippers.

The NBA has canceled a strip club promotion planned by the Atlanta Hawks.

The team had planned to celebrate Atlanta's Magic City Strip Club.

They said it was going to be a tribute to the iconic cultural institution.

Oh, good for you, NBA, for canceling this promotion.

I love and fully support the idea of including more women in the NBA.

If it were up to me, women would get their own league where they get to play basketball.

We could call it something catchy, like the NBA for women.

How about you hold my nuts in your mouth?

Not only should the NBA have kept this promotion, they should have gone further.

I want an NBA game with the full strip club experience: lap dances and the nosebleeds, taking out cash from an ATM with a $79 service fee, turning location sharing off on my phone, wiping the glitter off my face with a rally towel, using a foam finger to.

Which brings us to our Make It Rain, Better The Week.

Which Magic City stripper will fall off the pole first?

Well, that's all the time we have for Sports War.

Join us next week as we debate if Air Bud is the greatest animal athlete of all time.

I know a salamander named Joe that is sick at hockey.