Name: Trump Eyes Cuba Takeover, MAGA Brawls Over Micropenises & Is the New Ayatollah Gay? | The Daily Show
Uploaded: 2026-03-24T02:32:35.000Z
Duration: 13 min 56 s
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Adverbs of degree

Free speech updates its terms and conditions.

And MAGA gets into a big fight over small penises.

So let's get into our ongoing coverage of the war in Iran.

Now, according to public polling, the war in Iran has less support at its outset than any previous American war.

And wars are almost always popular in the beginning.

People are like, I don't know what's going on here, but for some reason, I'm on board.

But President Trump doesn't need popular support or congressional consent to declare war because he's got a high-profile fan on his side.

President Trump made news when he suggested a former president he's been speaking with wishes he had done to Iran what Trump has done.

I spoke to one of the former presidents who I actually like,

First of all, why is the president holding on to the desk like it's a safety bar and a Six Flags roller coaster?

Just letting my French tips dry, you know?

But the big question is, which former president gave Trump props for the war in Iran?

I just want to ask you about something very interesting that you said twice today, that you talked to another former president about the Iran strikes.

All I can say is that I was recently helping him prep for his Epstein Island deposition.

By the way, I love how Peter Ducey is trying to play guess who with our toddler president.

If he was doing karaoke, would he be allowed to sing "All the Words in Gold Digger"?

and this may come as a shock, which is that maybe, just possibly, Trump pulled the whole thing out of his ass.

Leads to each of the four living former presidents all deny they have had any such conversations with President Trump.

The living former presidents denied talking to Trump.

What's more likely, that Bill Clinton thinks starting a half-baked war in the Middle East was a good idea, or that Trump spent 20 minutes talking to a portrait of Grover Cleveland?

Regardless of who he's been talking to about it, I'm just glad the president has his mind 100% completely focused on this daunting situation with Iran.

I do believe I'll be the honor of having the honor of taking Cuba.

No new wars until you finish the war we just got you?

By the way, what do you mean by taking Cuba?

I mean, whether I free it, take it, I think I could do anything I want with it.

I don't know what's worse, that he's talking like a supervillain or that he sounds so bored about it.

You should be cackling with lightning in the background when you say shit like that.

Why are you sounding like Lexapro Luther over here?

But while Trump seems unengaged, some people in his administration are getting worked up.

The head of the National Counterterrorism Center, Joe Kent, announced just hours ago that he is resigning immediately over the war in Iran.

I mean, that would be even more damning if this guy wasn't an unqualified crackpot.

But it still has to shake up a president when one of your appointees resigns over your war.

I read his tape, and I always thought he was a nice guy.

But I always thought he was weak on security, very weak on security.

Everyone knows the qualifications for running the National Counterterrorism Center go nice guy, brings muffins to the morning meeting, and

then all the way down the list, good on security.

But this split is dividing the entire MAGA movement right now.

There's the anti-war side with people like Joe Rogan, Tucker Carlson, and Megyn Kelly.

And there's the pro-war side with Sean Hannity, Lindsey Graham, and Mark Levin.

And as you can imagine, the quality of an internal MAGA debate is highly intellectual.

On the X platform, Mark Levin posted, "Poor Megyn Kelly, an emotionally unhinged, lewd, and petulant wreck.

She's completely revealed and destroyed herself." In response, Megyn Kelly posted, "Micropenis Mark thinks he has the monopoly on lewd.

He doesn't like it when women like me fight back because of his micropenis." Oh.

Feels like I'm at the Oxford Debate Club.

Now, it's not a good look for President Trump to have his followers fighting so publicly over their micropenises.

Donny, why don't you step in and heal the divide?

President Trump defended Mark Levin, posting that he is somewhat under siege by other people with far less intellect, capability, and

In response, Megyn Kelly posted that Mark Levin went running to daddy about his micropenis.