Name: Trump’s Iran War Sparks Massive Oil Crisis as He Declares Victory at Bizarre Rally: A Closer Look
Uploaded: 2026-03-15T21:37:17.000Z
Duration: 11 min 38 s
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Republicans say the Iran war is both a short excursion and a longer war, and

Adverbs of degree

it's pretty much complete, and it's also just beginning.

And high oil prices are a sacrifice we have to make.

And also high oil prices are actually a good thing, and we already won.

But we might have to stay for four days or five weeks or six months to open the Strait of Hormuz for oil tankers, because if it stays closed, oil prices that are coming down will go up and we'll lose the war we've already won.

For more on this, it's time for a closer look.

A majority of Americans say the Trump administration has not clearly explained the goal of war with Iran.

But that's frustrating to me because it just proves you haven't been listening.

The Trump administration has been clear from the beginning that the goal of the war is stopping Iran from obtaining a nuclear weapon.

Or it's about regime change, or it's about freedom for the Iranian people.

Or it's about destroying their ballistic missile factories.

Or it's because Iran posed an imminent threat.

Or it's because this whole time, Lindsey Graham has been a trickster God sent here to sow chaos by convincing Trump to go to war.

I've been a Loki this whole time, And my meemaw's a frost giant.

He's just a waiter walking around the party offering hors d'.

It tastes the same, but the sleeves make it look disconcerting.

Everyone's been harping on the man, asking him boring questions like, how long is this war going to take?

He's giving you a bunch of different options.

He told Axios this war could end in two to three days with a deal.

Then he told the New York Times, four to five weeks of fighting.

Politico now reports the State Department is thinking at least 100 days, maybe even through September.

So it could last two to three days, or it could last four to five weeks, or it could last until September.

You sound like my doctor after I ate a bottle of knockoff Viagra.

Could be a couple of hours, it could be a year.

But on the bright side, you Won't have to put down your groceries to open the door.

So the President is letting you choose your own adventure when it comes to how long this war will take.

But if you really want to be a stick in the mud and demand an answer, here you go.

Just moments ago, President Donald Trump told CBS this, quote, I think the war is very complete.

Pretty much don't use very, and then pretty much right after it because they contradict each other.

If your friend wanted to set you up on a date and you said, is he hot?

And if she says pretty much, you're gonna have some follow ups.

But there you have it for you whiny crybabies demanding answers.

The President said it, the war is very complete, which I assume means we'll be wrapping this baby up any day now.

What I want your viewers to understand is this is only just the beginning.

I will admit it's not great that the guy who runs the Pentagon sounds like the Joker after he gets arrested.

All right, so there's a little confusion, a little crosstalk, some mixed messages.

I'm sure the commander in chief can clear this up.

President, you've said the war is, quote, very complete, but

your defense secretary says this is just the beginning.

So, what, suddenly you're into Eastern philosophy?

We exist in a space between nothing and everything.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a meeting with Walton Goggins.

All right, so the war is both beginning and ending.

But don't worry, the President is a genius marketer and he has a new word to describe the war that will put any questions about the timeline and the seriousness of the missions to rest.

We had to take a little trip to get rid of some evil, very evil people.

Well, we're looking to keep the oil prices down.

We went artificially up because of this excursion into a very positive thing.

I mean, this was an excursion that a lot of people wouldn't have done.

I mean, I think I know what happened here.

Trump was calling it a war, which is very unpopular, so someone on his team told him to call it an incursion.

But his brain is oatmeal, so he heard excursion, and no one corrected him.

Did you see it on a brochure at the rental car place?

Between snorkeling and cave tours, A war is not an excursion.

An excursion is apple picking, which we all know is worse than a war.

An excursion when you go whale watching in the Bahamas or when you take a boat trip to Epstein's island, which he didn't do.

In the over 5,000 Epstein files that referenced Donald Trump, not one of them said he went to the island.

All he did was fly on Epstein's plane eight times and called him a terrific guy and sent him a lewd birthday card.

And Epstein called him his closest friend for 10 years, and they partied together at Mar a Lago.

Can you show the footage approved by the doj?

Point is, the President says it's just an excursion.