Name: Your Old Life is Keeping You Stuck—Here’s HOW to Move On
Uploaded: 2026-03-11T01:44:01.000Z
Duration: 59 min 18 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

If your place and value in someone's life is dependent on what you do for them, so when what you do goes away, your value in their eyes goes away.

Today's guest is Nejwa Zebian, an author, activist, speaker, and educator.

She is inspiring millions on how to embrace change and lead more authentic lives.

How do we know what bonds in our life are inauthentic?

When you're scared of showing your actual feelings, your reactions, your responses, and

you know their reaction is going to be to either bring you down or criticize you, that's an inauthentic bond.

What if someone listening has an inauthentic bond with someone they genuinely care about, like a parent or a sibling?

Caring for them and loving them genuinely doesn't mean that you carry on your back the responsibility of keeping them in your life or.

Now, you're at a crossroads between choosing yourself and choosing being welcomed into the lives of people who you were always welcome in.

What about the guilt that comes up when you make that decision?

Don't negotiate your change with people who want you to stay the same.

I'm really excited to bring you today's guest.

She's someone I've been following for a really long time, and

I was actually just telling her before we jumped on the camera that I'm quite an introspective and curious person.

learning from her content, it just feels like a mirror of what is kind of going on in my own mind, but

So I'm really excited to have today's guest on.

because I reached out and it just so happened that the next day you were going to be in Dubai for two days out of nowhere.

So, Nejwa, I'm really excited to have you on the balance area today.

And I'm really excited for this conversation.

You know, I was thinking, do I start this conversation with a little bit about your context and where you've come from?

But I'm really keen to get into the content of especially what's in your new book.

The only constant, something you talk about a lot in this new book is change, which I think is a really interesting topic.

And I've actually, before we jumped on today's recording, I put up like a Q and A for my listeners, and

they've actually sent through some questions around the topic.

But I think what would be a great place to start is why were you drawn to write a book about change?

I was going through many changes at the time that I was asked, what would you like your next book to be?

I had just lost my grandma, which was a change.

And I was about to graduate with my doctorate in education, and

it was going to be the first time in my life that I wasn't actually working towards something anymore because I'd been in school my entire life, and

Do I see myself as someone who is constantly productive, constantly working toward that next assignment, that next project, that next thing that I need to finish?

And is that how I want to define myself for the rest of my life?

Or should I just put an end to this addiction to being productive, to this addiction to just constantly doing?

It was a big period of transition for me in my life.

And obviously that was a change I chose because I could have continued on with school, but

I decided this was the last thing I was going to do.

And at the same time, I had many relationships in my life.

Friendships, family relationships where certain ends needed to be put in place and certain boundaries needed to be put in place.

And I was going through many realizations about my place, like my actual place in people's lives based on what their actions were showing me.

And so those were changes I needed to make.

It wasn't just about, do I want this or not?

It was essential for me to live an authentic life to be able to make those changes.

Changes we don't choose, like the death of a loved one or someone breaking up with you, or getting fired from a job, or having something that you really wanted to work out, not work out.

Changes we choose, like deciding, I want to go for this program in school, or I don't want to.

I want to end this relationship, or I don't want to.

And those are, to me, the most important changes because they lead us to a more present, more authentic life.

So I started writing, and the title emerged, the only constant.

Because everyone knows the infamous quote, the only constant in life is change.

And, you know, I've had many conversations, especially these last couple of days, being here in Dubai with people that I'd never met before.

And on the spot, as I'm introducing myself and talking about my book.

They're like, everyone I know is going through something right now.

Like, everyone is going through changes that they're really struggling to come to terms with.

And it isn't everlasting, constant in life.

It's funny how we get really uncomfortable and it's hard to welcome it in, but

it is one of those things that is literally inevitable.

We act kind of surprised or unsure when it comes up, but

it's almost like if we could flip that and expect to expect that things are going to change, like, I guarantee for everyone listening right now, if you think there's definitely something changing in your life, I mean, this is a self development podcast, right?

So people are constantly working on themselves in different areas of life.

So I think it's a really interesting topic.

Before we keep going into the book and change specifically, you said something really interesting and that is you realized productivity was an addiction.

This is something I really resonate with.

And a lot of the listeners are a type high performers, kind of go, go, go doers, which is such a great trait.

It makes us very successful, makes us achieve a lot of things.

But the flip of that is you struggle to slow down, be patient.

What advice do you have for someone listening who might be stuck in that productivity addiction?

You have to ask yourself, why is it that you believe that you have to keep getting things done?

Many of us develop a belief at a very young age that I do, therefore I am worthy.

So my worth is based on my actions, on the things that I do, on the ways that I please people, on my ability to see someone needing something and me being able to fulfill that need.

We learn that being needed means we are valued, but that's not the truth.

And we don't bring that realization into awareness until we get to a point in our lives where we're running on this never ending hamster wheel and we're exhausted and we still don't feel worthy.

It's like a never ending race for your worth.

And that finish line keeps moving further ahead.

Every time you do something, you think, finally I'm gonna feel like I'm worthy.

Finally I'm gonna get that person's love.

Finally I'm gonna get those friends respect, or them including me or whatever it is.

And then you finish that thing for them and you realize that the finish line just moved ahead and now you have to do another thing.

And it's because the belief system itself, not that it means that something is wrong with you, but

the Belief system itself is flawed because it's not I do, therefore I'm worthy.