Name: Conquering dating while having OCD...
Uploaded: 2026-03-06T05:29:53.000Z
Duration: 8 min 38 s
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Hey everyone, I'm Deirdre Jaray and welcome to a day in my life not just as somebody who has ocd, but

At 19, I was hospitalized because my OCD was so out of control.

I had spent my entire life battling it without knowing what was even wrong.

But everything changed when I finally got the proper treatment, which is Exposure and Response prevention therapy.

I had to literally relearn how to do everything like blinking, talking, walking, breathing.

Basically I had to learn how to live my life without any compulsions.

Fast forward to today to where I'm living with barely any symptoms at all.

And it's all thanks to exposure and Response prevention therapy, which is offered by nocd.

It is the gold standard for OCD treatment.

So if you're wondering what life can look like on the other side of ocd, let's dive in.

The next thing we're conquering is dating with ocd.

I'd never really go on those, but I'm trying to push myself.

I'd say dating is the only thing that my OCD really affects right now, which is why I'm like trying to actively go on dates.

I have actually quite a few dates lined up.

This guy, I do have like a little bit of an emotional contamination thing.

I have a really hard time deciphering like do I really not like them or is it my OCD telling me I don't like them on the walks used to be such a thing cuz I couldn't step on anything like this, right?

So I would have to always watch exactly where I walked.

If I stepped on like a crack, mine wasn't like, oh, something bad will happen.

It means that I also have to step on this foot with the crack to make it even so like that, you know, where now I could just like walk.

But even just talking about it and like noticing it now, this foot feels off.

This foot I feel like has a line through it like where the crack was and this one doesn't.

So now I'm just kind of able to step on anything that's a shape and on the road and not avoid anything because I don't think that it's going to give me like bad luck or ruin my day or I'm going to have to cancel it out.

I'm going to walk every single morning because it's just so important for me, just for my Mental health and to clear my head and then also for my ADHD and like my jitteriness.

If I had one suggestion for anybody who was struggling with any sort of mental illness, it would be to walk first thing in the morning, even if it's just for five minutes.

It's also a really good way for me to practice thinking and being alone with my thoughts.

It's not something I was able to do a few years ago because I would just eat.

Getting bombarded with scary, intrusive thoughts on this side of the road was like technically emotionally contaminated because I saw something up there that made me like a little weird.

Basically I was about to cross over and it's just habit that I walk on that side.

And I was about to cross over and I remembered I was doing this video and I was like, this is a perfect chance do an exposure.

Literally two seconds later, it's like I'm chilling.

Like, because I've done exposure so many times now that I have anxiety.

The first few seconds for minutes and then it just completely dissipates.

I don't think I'll be able to film because it's a really crappy gym, but

Ready for my breakfast, Ready for my breakfast.

My breakfast almost every single morning.

Bagel, cream cheese, egg, feta and honey.

So my OCD actually contributed to me having three different types of eating disorders and disordered eating patterns, which I had no idea that OCD could affect those things until after I got diagnosed.

I used to struggle severely with binge eating, where I'd compulsively avoid and restrict certain foods and food groups.

And then I would also compulsively over exercise for hours.

Like if I missed a workout, I would be in a full on panic state, like in a spiral.

But also contributed with like some body dysmorphia stuff.

But my exposure for that was basically purposely making myself go out of routine and forcing myself to take rest days.

I am now so much more flexible than I was.

I wouldn't classify myself as easygoing, but

I truly can go with the flow now with very little anxiety and basically no panic because of all the tools that OCD therapy has given me.

The thing I've found with OCD therapy is it doesn't have to be perfect.

You just truly have to start, and you have to try, and you have to keep trying.

But anyway, I will talk to you after this date.

I obviously did not wear this really nice guy.

But I have liked guys before where they have fully triggered me, and I'm like, you know what?

It doesn't matter because I like them so much, and I'll, like, literally cancel it out.

One person that I liked last year, he said multiple things that I just was like, oh, let her hurt my OCD in the heart, you know, kind of thing.

But I just liked him so much that I was like, I'm not letting my OCD ruin this for me.

It still did in the end because of all of the uncertainty.

But, yeah, for relationship stuff, I find that it either jumped the gun or I cut it too early.

Then I immediately cut it after that because there was just so much uncertainty with it that it really, really made my OCD bad in the end, anyway.

These guys that I'm going on dates with are so nice, and they really, really are.

And besides the one that let the door slam on me, even he was really nice.

I used to think that I had a really hard time connecting with people, and I actually don't.

And I would tell guys that to their face.

They'd be like, listen, just so you know, like, I have a really hard time connecting.

I realized, literally, like, in December, I don't have a hard time connecting with people.

My main issue is I think that my body, like, protects me from guys that aren't right.

I never connected with my ex, but it was because he was horrifically emotionally abusive, and

And he would really aggressive as well in certain situations.

So it makes sense why I didn't connect with him in that way.

I'm seeing these guys that are seemingly good, but

it's hard to trust my gut sometimes because my gut gets confused with my ocd.