Name: Kristi Noem: A Boss With Benefits | Obama's Alien Coverup | How Not To Eat Your Food
Uploaded: 2026-02-19T21:32:13.000Z
Duration: 12 min 13 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

Welcome one and all in here, out there, all around the world, to the Late Show.

I'm your host, Stephen Colbert, ladies and gentlemen.

You know, first of all, start off by saying happy President's Day, everybody.

And I just want to warn you right off the bean here, that does not apply to all presidents.

I don't know about you, I'm a President's Day originalist, okay?

When I was a kid, we had a few presidents birthdays that we celebrated in different days in the winter.

And those holidays were eventually merged into one, I believe, following an accident at the Fermilab particle accelerator, they jammed together into what we now call President's Day.

But this still does not apply to every single president, okay?

It is specifically honoring our first president, George Washington, our 16th president, Abraham Lincoln, and

Speaking of the executive branch, we recently got some new scoops about Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem, seen here swearing to fill the lip, the whole lip, and

Last week, last week, liberal rag the Wall Street Journal published an expose all about Noem.

And it's the kind of article that gets published only if everyone who works for you cannot wait to tell a reporter just how awful you are.

The Journal reports that Noem is jealous of Trump's other top immigration henchman, a border czar, Tom Homan, seen here demanding the Costco lady fill that sample cup to the brim with Kirkland chili.

Apparently, Noem was so worried that Trump would like Homan more than he likes her that she kept track of both their media appearances to make sure that she was on TV more than him, and

even routinely berated staff if she saw Homan on tv, I mean, anywhere, including his popular anti immigrant sitcom, Home Improvement.

The neighbor was behind the fence because he was scared of it.

While she reportedly doesn't like that MAGA dude, it's rumored that there are some MAGA dudes that she do like and does do.

For example, top advisor and disgruntled pencil, Corey Lewandowski.

On the bus or off the bus, but the boo bus is leaving the station.

Noem is Cory's boss and possibly boss with benefits because that rumor is that the two of them are in a romantic relationship even though they're both married with children.

Okay, if that romantic part is true, Cory, a word of warning.

According to the Wall Street Journal, again, they have lately been using a luxury 737 Max jet with a private cabin in the back.

Boing, oink, oing, oink, oink, Boing, boing, oing, oing, oing, boing.

Yeah, you know, we've been off for a week and we missed a lot of stories.

Like, I got bangs, and then I got rid of them.

Like last Wednesday, when the FAA abruptly shut down the airspace over El Paso, Texas.

After seeing what they thought to be a drone flying near the airport, the FAA unilaterally shut down El Paso's airspace, restricting all planes flying below 18,000ft for 10 days.

Something that hasn't happened since 9 11.

Now, understandably, understandably, as you can see there, people were freaking out.

But only for a bit, because the restriction was lifted after only eight hours after CBP officials used a laser counter drone weapon to take out the objects that were later identified as party balloons.

There's absolutely no excuse for using military grade battle lasers to shoot down party balloons.

Which I believe was taken from the Elmo bodies exhibit.

So this was a huge misunderstanding, right?

Because Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy released a statement saying the FAA and Department of War acted swiftly to address a cartel drone incursion.

Sir, this is far more serious than something from a cartel.

This is from a desperate parrot who just spent an afternoon at Party City.

Why is one Mylar balloon more expensive than 20 regular ones?

Because over the weekend, President Obama went on a podcast and dropped this bomb.

But of course, Obama tried to backtrack the next day by posting let Me clarify.

I saw no evidence during my presidency that extraterrestrials have made contact with us.

This is why everyone likes Michelle better.