Name: Bondi Spins Out Over Epstein Questions & Olympian Confesses Affair on Live TV | The Daily Show
Uploaded: 2026-02-18T21:38:02.000Z
Duration: 12 min 45 s
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Let's kick things off with something uplifting.

Adverbs of degree

if there's one thing I love, it's those post victory interviews where medal winners from around the world just radiate pure joy.

Congratulations so much on Olympic bronze.

That was Norway's Sturla Homme Lagarde, who won bronze in the biathlon, but he got a bronze.

I mean, I know it's not gold, but it's still bronze.

Half a year ago, I met the love of my life, the world's most beautiful, finest person.

And three months ago, I made my biggest mistake, which was cheating on her.

Okay, not how I would have celebrated in a post game interview.

I would have gone with a thank you, mom and dad or a thank you, God, but, you know, instead you went with guess what, world?

Buddy, buddy, there are other ways of dealing with your guilt.

Or burying the shame deep inside you and letting it fester until it explodes in a public meltdown in the freezer section of Trader Joe's.

Because I ruined the best thing that ever happened to me.

And by the way, if I was listening closely, did I hear that right?

I mean, you guys weren't even dating long enough to fart in front of each other.

You were still in that honeymoon phase where you pretend you need something in the other room and go fart there.

If repairing your six month situationship is that important, I guess it's fine to hijack the news cycle to talk about it.

Your teammate who won the gold had nothing more important to draw attention to.

And it was an emotional win for Norway's Johan olegbotten.

And men's 20 kilometer individual biathlon.

Norwegian dedicated it to his late teammates who died unexplored, unexpectedly in December.

I was between honoring him or talking about how much pussy I was getting.

You hijacked that to try to win back your fling.

This is basically like if instead of interrupting Taylor Swift, Kanye had interrupted the In Memoriam segment.

And if this big display helped our boy get his girl back, it was all worth it.

The former girlfriend says it's hard to forgive what he did and that she did not appreciate him making their private issue so public.

every woman you date from now on knows you can't go three months without cheating.

You know things aren't going well for you when even Lindsey Vonn is like, this guy's having a bad week.

This is why I'm always saying we need to keep men out of men's sports.

You don't see the women's teams having this much drama.

In the women's 15K individual biathlon, the gold goes to Julia Simone of France.

Last fall, she was found guilty by a French court of theft and credit card fraud and given a three month suspended prison sentence after stealing the credit card numbers of a teammate.

What is it about this sport where you voluntarily freeze your genitals off in spandex and shoot guns that attract so.

And you know, to be fair to her, it's not right to steal.

But what do you think skiing with a gun even pays these days?

She probably gets one or two contracts a year to kill James Bond, but that barely covers rent.

You know, moving on to something else, going downhill, America.

Today, Congress heard testimony from Pam Bondi, Attorney General and woman who stresses everyone out at book club Bo.

But it's not worth uninviting her because that'll become a whole thing.

Congress had a lot of serious questions for her about everything from ICE to Epstein, and

I'm sure she handled them with the grace and maturity we have come to expect from the Trump administration.

I'm going to answer the question the way I want to answer the question.

I'm not going to get in the gutter for her theatrics.

She doesn't say how much money she took from Reid Hoffman, did you?

I mean, you could do something like that in Congress, but

when I do it in a Chili's, I get banned for life.

To be fair, though, you'd be in a bad mood too, if you'd spent the last month redacting Images of old man generals from the Epstein files alleged.

Now, keep in mind this is not how these hearings traditionally go.

The attorney general used to carry some level of seriousness and gravitas.

It's only recently that they'd spend a congressional hearing acting like a bratty senior who got called into the principal's office.

Look, look, her performance upset a lot of people because they were hoping for justice for Jeffrey Epstein's victims.

But for Pam Bondi, there's only one victim in all of this.