Name: Say sorry like the opposite gender for a better apology
Uploaded: 2026-01-29T17:00:32.000Z
Duration: 3 min 48 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

Oh, I'm aware of how my actions affected you, Carl.

I will make sure to change my behavior moving forward.

I don't know why you put on a mustache and used more stereotypically masculine language, but

for some reason, that makes your apology more effective.

Sorry to ask, but how is apology effectiveness dependent on apology content and gender?

Shows that the most effective apology is one that goes against gender stereotypes.

So if women apologize like a man and men apologize like a woman, it's more effective.

Well, in this case, masculine language is defined as having more agency, being more assertive, confident, and

And feminine language is warm, communal, and nurturing.

Oh, so a masculine apology would be like, yo, dude, my bad.

And a feminine apology may be like, oh, my God, I realize that I've hurt you.

It's interesting that counter stereotypical language affects the way the apology lands.

Perhaps it's because if someone apologizes exactly the way that you expect them to, it could come across as less sincere.

So, like, if you bestie wanted to apologize for stealing my stars in Mario party last night, and

you decided to use masc language, I might think, wow, she's being pretty direct.

I appreciate that this is probably sincere, and she's not gonna do me dirty like that again.

And if you apologize to me in feminine language for Chomp calling my rightful star away when I was one space in front of it, which led me to stealing a star from you, I'd be like, wow, my God, he's being really vulnerable right now.

But I'm not gonna apologize for Chomp calling that star, and

I'm not gonna apologize for stealing one, Carl.

So I guess this research is meaningless, useless.

You screwed me in Mario Party, and that's exactly what this is about, so screw you.

You were just picking on me because you know I'm a winner.

Most New Year's resolutions fade by February.

But real change does not come from becoming someone new.

It comes from small, consistent habits that create growth over time.

Discipline and showing up will always trump temporary motivation.

So One of my New Year's resolutions is to make inner child play a habit.

I tend to work too much, and then I feel like I'm not actually living my life.

So this last year, at the advice of my therapist, I wrote a list of things that mean fun to me.

And so once a month, I have to cross one of those things off.

So I've done archery, I've tried horseback riding, a gun safety class, bouldering.

And I gotta say, it has completely changed my quality of life.

And I am extremely grateful to my therapist because she's the one who actually reframed that I could use my work ethic like the one from my career and just use it to schedule rest and prioritize play.

And it's just been, like, so nice to go for.

From 17 years of, like, grief and trauma therapy and emotional regulation to now being at the point where it's like, okay, I have picked up all the pieces.

So wherever you're at in life, or whatever life you are trying to build, therapy is a great place to start.

And I want to say thank you to BetterHelp for sponsoring today's video.

All you need to do is fill out a questionnaire and you're matched with a therapist in as little as a couple of days.

And if for any reason it's not the right fit, you can easily switch therapists anytime at no ext extra cost.

You can click the link in the description or go to betterhelp.comakana and get 10 off your first month of therapy.

Subtitles ListPlay Video

Say sorry like the opposite gender for a better apology

vulnerable

discipline

extremely

prioritize