Name: Trump Demands Greenland at Davos & Literally Trashes First-Year “Accomplishments” | The Daily Show
Uploaded: 2026-01-26T03:07:26.000Z
Duration: 11 min 14 s
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Yesterday marked one year since Trump's inauguration.

So Trump decided to crash the White House press briefing to tout his accomplishments, but

Ooh, I'm glad my finger wasn't in that circle.

I would have acted like nothing happened as my finger fell off.

First of all, is finger falling off something you think could happen to you?

Like, I thought you had the best health report of all time.

Now you're telling me fingers are falling off like it's autumn.

Now, you might think this is just a statistic stack of blank papers, or maybe, if you're feeling generous, pictures of boobs.

But this file was actually filled with Trump's accomplishments, which is why Trump treated it with the respect, care, and

Look, we have the hottest country in the world.

Turns out Trump hates reading more than he loves bragging.

But look, whether you love what Trump's done the past year or hate it, he has been busy.

Let's hear about some of these incredible accomplishments with bullet points like number 243 stripped notorious crackhead and grifter Hunter Biden of his taxpayer funded Secret Service detail.

That may seem harsh, but name another famous crackhead from the last five years.

To be fair, the bar on crackhead notoriety is pretty low.

Most people don't know the names of too many crackheads.

Hell, most crackheads I know don't even know their own names.

But look, Donald Trump is not about the past.

Bringing one crackhead to justice may have been Trump's biggest first year accomplishment.

He's been very clear about what his second year biggest accomplishment is gonna be.

All we're asking for is to get Greenland.

We're talking about acquiring, not leasing, not having it short term.

You need ownership, you really need title, as they say in the Rosa business.

All right, we're notorious Greenland heads, and that's the type of dude he is.

And if Trump wants something, he gets it.

It's like if you went out to a bar with your friend, and

you saw a gorgeous woman across the bar, and

then he turned to you and said, I'm going home with her tonight.

You may need to pay the tab because your boy's about to smash.

That's just the kind of confidence Donald Trump has.

And that's why today he flew to Davos to explain to Europe why America should own Greenland.

No nation or group of nations is in any position to be able to secure Greenland other than the United States.

It's the United States alone that can protect this giant mass of land, this giant piece of ice, develop it and improve it, and

make it so that it's good for Europe and safe for Europe and good for us.

It's huge, undeveloped, in a strategic location.

It's like if your grandma had a Manhattan apartment she bought in 1950.

Once she dies in it, you're gonna push her down the trash chute and live like a K.

It all sounds great, but I do have one problem.

We already have a treaty with Denmark that lets us build as many military bases in Greenland as necessary.

I don't know why we need to own Greenland.

Number one, legally, it's not defensible that way.

And number two, psychologically, who the hell wants to defend a license agreement or a lease?

Cause you do care less about things when they're not yours.

Like, a parent will do anything to protect their kids, but if I'm babysitting.

Like, I'll give it a good college try, but

at the end of the day, he don't look like me.

All right, but look, it really doesn't matter why Trump wants something.

And you can tell because his focus is 100% on Greenland.

The president referred to Greenland as Iceland.

And until the last few days, when I told them about Iceland, they loved me.

All right, obviously, he doesn't mean Iceland.

He's not gonna make that mistake three times in as many sentences.

They're not there for us on Iceland, that I can tell you.

I mean, our stock market took the first dip yesterday because of Iceland, so Iceland's already cost us a lot of money.

I'm just glad we got rid of the last Guy whose brain didn't work.

It doesn't matter what he said, because when the man wants something, he gets it.

We are following even more breaking news.

President Trump now says he has reached a, quote, framework deal on Greenland.

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Trump Demands Greenland at Davos & Literally Trashes First-Year “Accomplishments” | The Daily Show

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