Name: Trump Makes Milk Whole Again, Europe Defends Greenland & MAGA Blasts Mamdani | The Daily Show
Uploaded: 2026-01-22T01:19:17.000Z
Duration: 11 min 52 s
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Adverbs of degree

There is so much going on in the world today.

Domestic strife, international uprisings.

Verizon went down for four hours yesterday, so I had to Google myself on my desktop like a loser.

But with all the chaos in the world, I'm so glad we have a president who's laser focused on the issues that matter most.

We're going to be discussing milk and whole milk and how good it is.

President, thank you for shining a light on this important issue and also for having a big jug of milk on your desk as a visual aid in case people forget what milk is.

I mean, how are these people intolerant of everything except lactose?

But while Trump was focused on his domestic priorities, his underlings were taking care of the smaller issues.

Tonight, as President Trump escalates his push to take over Greenland.

Top officials from Greenland and Denmark traveling to Washington to plead their case to the vice president and Secretary of State.

But they emerged saying the two sides have a, quote, fundamental disagreement.

It's clear that the president has this wish of conquering over Greenland.

Okay, first of all, why are they doing a press conference from the cocktail hour at a wedding?

Yes, you can tell this meeting didn't go well by the way the entire delegation rushed to smoke immediately after.

He's literally sprinting to the car to grab a smoke and calm his nerves.

One meeting with J.D. vance and Marco Rubio will turn you into the Ben Affleck meme.

So these diplomatic talks might not work out, and Europe's not waiting to take action.

Denmark says it's expanding its military footprint in Greenland over President Trump's push to annex the Danish territory.

You've got Germany, France, Sweden, Sweden and Norway all sending military personnel to the island this week for a joint exercise with Denmark.

Germany, Sweden, France, Norway all sent soldiers because of us.

They're supposed to be on one of their 37 weeks of vacation right now.

Yesterday illustrates what a strange this administration is.

Because everyone from resistance libs to his own vice president has compared Trump to Hitler.

But I'm pretty sure Hitler never took a break from invading Poland to be like, today, I just want to talk about milk.

But while the authoritarian experiment is playing out on an international level, right here in New York City, we're in the midst of our own political experiment.

Two weeks ago, our capitalist utopia was invaded by a communist dreamboat, Zoran Mandani.

And our American patriots have been sounding the alarm on what's to come.

A foreign born Muslim communist who hates the greatest nation on earth and wants to change it is now in power.

Mamdani's breadlines coming to the city soon.

As he plunges the city ever deeper into the mess his socialism helped create.

New York is gonna be bankrupt in six months.

Another great American city is gonna swirl down the drain.

At best, New York will be floating down the curb next to a used condom.

But we've been warned and we didn't listen.

So let's find out what's in store for us in our new segment on Zoran Mamdani's New York.

Okay, it's been two weeks since Soron seized power in a brutal democratic coup d'.

So what nightmare dystopian agenda has he pursued since taking office?

On Tuesday, Mermaidani grabbed a shovel and joined Transportation Department workers to fix a bump at the foot of the bike path before Delancey Street.

First they level out the roads, then they level out the social classes.

Zoram Dami says he's making a four million dollar commitment to bring modular high quality bathrooms like these to the five boroughs.

Straight out of the well known communist playbook.

In America, the free market decides who poops.

I always say it's better to piss your pants as a free man than to use the toilet as a slave.

Okay, what else are you going to force down our freedom loving throats?

Mayor Mamdani spent this morning announcing plans for expanded free childcare.

No longer do New Yorkers have to make the choice between this city and their family.

New Yorkers should be watching their own kids at all times.

If anyone sees my child, feed him, please.

Besides, if you're watching right wing news.

You know what a Mamdani childcare scheme is going to look like?

Do you remember that cringy YouTube star for the toddler set and Palestinian advocate, Ms. Rachel?

Well, she's teaming up with your favorite mayor, Comrade Mandani.

If you're happy and you know it and you really want to show it.