Name: Pete Hegseth Dodges War Crime Allegations & Melania Decks the WH Halls | The Daily Show
Uploaded: 2025-12-05T00:55:38.000Z
Duration: 11 min 9 s
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Pete Hegseth throws his admiral under the boat.

And at the White House, Melania decks the halls that haven't been bulldozed.

So let's get into it with another installment of the Worst Wing.

It's been a chaotic year for the White House, from the ballroom construction to a new decor style that design experts are calling leprechaun bukkake.

The point is, the People's House is in rough shape, and

I don't know if anything at all could save it now.

Who gives a about Christmas stuff and decoration, but I need to do it right.

The first lady unveiled the 2025 White House Christmas decorations today.

This year's theme, Home is Where the Heart Is.

I love how she's touching everything like that.

Would someone who hates Christmas do these?

I mean, good God, she didn't even take her coat off.

And while Melania was decking the halls, Donald was dreaming of sugar plums dancing in his head.

Unfortunately, it was in the middle of a cabinet meeting where he somehow kept falling asleep while people worked really hard to kiss his ass.

As we speak to you now, Steve Woodkoff is in Moscow trying to find a way to end this war to save lives of 8,9000 people, Mr.

President, as you want to, are dying every week.

Jeez, normally dudes fall asleep after someone blows them.

If you're falling asleep mid blowjob, you should see a doctor.

But let's move on to Kash Patel, FBI Director and man who just found out that Cash Patel is the FBI Director.

And now a new report is giving people yet another reason to question Cash's priorities as Director.

The day after Charlie Kirk's assassination, sources in this report say that Kash Patel flew in to Provo airport on the FBI jet and then refused to get off until someone provided him with a medium sized FBI raid jacket.

One was found belonging to a female agent and taken to the plane.

Obviously, as an enlightened, progressive person, I believe that gender expression is a.

And we shouldn't judge people for what they wear at the same time.

But honestly, you can't even tell that it's a women's jacket.

Although looking back on it, you can tell that he was up there thinking, I hope no one can tell I'm wearing a women's jacket.

Throwing a tantrum and refusing to get out of the plane until he had exactly what he wanted to wear.

I know he borrowed a woman's jacket, but did he borrow her period, too?

And getting his jacket wasn't even enough cash still needed to accessorize.

But then Patel, according to these sources, was displeased by the fact that it didn't have velcro patches on the upper arms.

And so then these agents had to go scurrying around trying to find velcro patches.

Finally, some SWAT raid guys produced them off their own jackets.

It's like trying to get your 8 year old out the door for school.

No, mom, I'm not leaving until I find my special jacket, the one with the cool patches.

Let's move on to the big news about Pete Hegseth, Secretary of Defense and guy who will buy you a beer even if you're underage.

And also, you didn't even ask him for beer.

And also, he's just drinking the beer all by himself.

Pete assures us he's sober, although he might need a drink now.

Now to the intensifying controversy surrounding Defense secretary Pete Hegseth over an alleged order to kill everyone on a suspected drug boat and a second strike that targeted survivors.

Lawmakers from both parties and legal experts say this could be a war crime.

I can't believe Pete Hegseth might be going down for war crimes.

I thought for sure it'd be a hit and run.

While running away from another hit and run.

And one thing we know, if somebody did something wrong, he's going to man up and take responsibility.

As the Secretary of War, Pete Hagseth put the blame for the second strike squarely on his commander, Admiral Mitch Bradley, saying on X, I stand by him and the combat decisions he has made on the September 2nd mission and all others since.

Blaming someone by pretending to praise them.

I stand by him and all the decisions he made on his own while I was out of the room.

If you want to get to him, you know what?

I also love how Pete's also pre blaming Bradley for all the other since.

And I also congratulate the admiral for cheating on my wife at the holiday party next week.

So, yeah, things are starting to look a little dicey for the Secretary of defensiveness, But

Pete is fighting back the way a true warrior does with memes.

But Defense Secretary of the United States today posting this meme of Franklin the Turtle, a children's character standing on the edge of a helicopter firing a missile at a boat.

Okay, well, this whole image is deeply disturbing, especially the part where the turtle is wearing a helmet.

And obviously, Hegseth should not be using Franklin this way.

There's already several turtles who famously kill people for a living.

So obviously this story is developing rapidly, but

it really does show you why it's so important to vet your cabinet members.

If only there were signs that Hegseth would be so cavalier about war crimes.

Back in 2019, Hegseth reportedly spent months personally lobbying Trump to pardon multiple U.S.

service members who had been accused of war crimes.

If he committed premeditated murder, then Duncan did as well.

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Pete Hegseth Dodges War Crime Allegations & Melania Decks the WH Halls | The Daily Show

insane

strike

blame

military