Name: Questions to ask yourself while dating
Uploaded: 2025-12-01T16:58:14.000Z
Duration: 3 min 43 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

So often when dating, we ask the wrong questions.

Adverbs of degree

Things like, do they like me before we even know if we like them, or what are they looking for before we have a connection, we make dating very them centric.

Is dating with a desire to learn more about ourselves.

Relationships are a mirror revealing what we like, dislike, want, need, or cannot tolerate, right?

Dating is an opportunity to get to know someone's story, but more importantly, to shape our own.

Very often we come to dating with two bad habits, right?

We're either trying to impress the other person or we try to overly protect ourselves.

This can lead to a bunch of bad behavior, like barely listening or expressing curiosity about the other person, being interrogative, having a shield up or sword out, being argumentative or combative, et cetera.

Now, I used to have a really intense, anxious attachment style.

And so I would often go on dates with this lens of like, what does this person think about me?

And trying to prove that I'm worthy or curate a perception of myself that I think they want and will like.

And as a result, I would fantasize and idealize and like, completely miss out on who this person actually was.

I just had a vision of what I wanted and slapped it on them, hoping they'd fulfill it.

Now, I know you know, that being true to myself is the surest way to weed out who is meant for me.

Now what you want to do is you want to de center the people in your dating life and center yourself.

And you can ask that by going on dates and asking yourself questions like, what side of me do they bring out?

And if you are feeling anxiety, really ask yourself, like, is that my side of the street?

Is it an old wound that I'm bringing to the table?

Or is it something that I'm really intuiting from their side?

And really start looking at people for who they are versus the meaning that you're making out of their behavior.

Or is this revealing that you have an unreasonable expectation for how quickly people respond?

Now, when you do meet someone who you have a connection with, you're excited about and you experience mutual reciprocity with, it is also important to ask yourself, like, can I accept this person as they are today?

Because so many people go into relationships for the potential of someone, which means that they ultimately have a desire to change them.

And if you have a desire to change someone, you're not really seeing them.

So I hope that all of these questions help you center yourself in dating and find the person most aligned with you and who you are.

Thank you the Patreons who supported today's video and thank you to Better Help for sponsoring today's episode.

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