Name: How important is politeness? ⏲️ 6 Minute English
Uploaded: 2026-02-13T21:01:30.000Z
Duration: 6 min 16 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

Hello, this is Six Minute English from BBC Learning English.

In this program, we're talking about politeness.

Britain has a reputation for being a polite place where children are told to say please and thank you.

But in real life, that isn't always true.

How about, "Neil, please, could you pass me the pen?"

Now listen as BBC Radio 4 presenter Michael Rosen, who is a well-known poet and children's author in Britain, describes what happened to him one day recently.

A boy was walking past me in the street, stomped and said, "Hey, your thingy, innit?"

Now that one seems to break all the rules.

And because it broke the rules, it gave me a problem.

A boy saw Michael Rosen and said, "Hey, your thingy, innit?"

He used the word thingy because although he recognised Michael, he couldn't remember his name.

He also said innit, which is short for isn't it?

So was the boy being impolite or was he just happy meeting a famous person in the street?

And why do we teach kids to be polite in the first place?

That's what we'll be discussing in this program, using some useful new vocabulary.

But first, I have a question for you, Neil.

The British are well known for being polite, as we've said, and

there's even an idiom we use in certain situations to remind someone to be especially polite.

Is it A) mind your As and Bs, B) mind your Ps and Qs, or C) mind your Xs and Ys?

I'm going to say C) mind your Xs and Ys, because I think it's brilliant.

Well, we'll find out the correct answer later in the program.

So let's return to the boy who said "Hey, your thingy, innit?" to famous poet Michael Rosenberg.

Professor Louise Mullaney, who studies the language of politeness, has an answer.

She thinks that politeness is as much to do with the person being spoken to as the person speaking.

As she explained to BBC Radio 4 programme Word of Mouth.

I think the crucial thing there is in how you've perceived it, so obviously, he's not giving us the conventional, oh, good afternoon, Mr. Rosen, or a more formal approach.

It's very, very informal and he can't remember your name and he's saying innit.

Now, that has been interpreted by you as non-threatening to you.

You don't see him as insulting you and you're actually quite kindly disposed to that person.

So you haven't interpreted it as offensive or aggressive, you said - I think you described it as being quite civil, actually.

Michael Rosen didn't feel that the boy was insulting him.

To insult someone means to be rude or offensive to them.

Although his speech was very informal, Michael thought the boy was actually pleased to see him, not rude at all.

So you could say that politeness is subjective.

If Michael doesn't feel offended, then where is the offence?

Then why do we teach children to be polite at all?

Well, according to Professor Mulaney, it's to do with the rules of society.

Louise thinks that by teaching our kids politeness, they enjoy the benefits of being accepted in society.

So imagine how embarrassed she felt when her two year old daughter repeatedly ignored the cook at her nursery school and refused to say hello.

Here's Louise Mulaney telling the story to BBC Radio 4's Word of Mouth.

And as I mentioned in the book, it felt to me like there were lots of other children skipping and jumping past going, "Hello."

And my daughter was just there and we started to make excuses, excuses for her, like, oh, she's tired, oh, she's teething, she's this and she's that.

Because the embarrassment was so strong and I felt awful walking back past the kitchen on my way out, I was almost trying to hide my face going, I'm the one with the really rude child.

When her daughter didn't say hello to an adult, Louise made excuses for her.

If you make excuses for someone, you try to explain the reasons for their behavior.

For example, Louise said her daughter was tired, she was growing new teeth, she was this and that.

The idiom this and that can be used to describe various unspecified things.

For example, if someone asks what you did this afternoon, you might reply, oh, not much, I stayed at home, I watched TV. I did this and that.

Politeness means different things to different people, but we still like it when people are polite to us.

And I think the polite thing to do now is reveal the answer to my question.

So the idiom that we use to remind someone to be polite is not mind your Xs and Ys.

I'm sorry, Neil, it's mind your Ps and Qs.

Ok, now let's recap the vocabulary we've learnt, starting with thingy, an informal word that's used if you can't remember someone's or something's name.

People also use the slang words what's his name?

Innit is a short form of the tag question, isn't it?

It's used to add emphasis to a statement.

The adjective insulting means rude or offensive if you are well disposed to someone you like and approve of them.

When you make excuses for someone, you explain the reasons for their bad behaviour.

And finally, the idiom this and that describes various unspecified things.

why not test yourself with the programme quiz and worksheet, available now on our website bbclearningenglish.com.