Name: how I became the woman of my dreams and how you can too
Uploaded: 2025-11-24T13:25:37.000Z
Duration: 20 min 16 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

The comparative

I have truly become the woman my younger self dreamed of.

But not only that, I have outdone every single one of her desires and I have lived through an experience that literally proves I should have dreamed so much bigger.

Because I did everything I wanted to do and then some.

I and I believe every single woman should be able to have that experience.

So in this video, I'm going to be breaking down all of the lessons I've learned along the way so that you can become the woman of your dreams too.

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The first and most crucial step of all of this was getting to know myself before I mourned myself.

There's so much talk online about creating your ideal self, which, don't get me wrong, is so important.

But nobody talks about how important it is to sacrifice and kill off the old parts of yourself.

No one warns you that the process of becoming your best self starts with a funeral.

You have to grieve the version of you that played small, that survived in fear, that lived in their comfort zone.

And so much of my growth was firstly based on admitting all of that to myself, understanding what insecurities I was still holding on to, the validation that I was still naively looking for, and

the girl that was always overthinking and trying to please literally everybody but herself.

And another thing to note here is there's no point in criticizing that version of yourself.

Once you start digging deeper, you understand your old patterns.

This is not an opportunity to feel badly about yourself or to talk down on yourself.

Because that version of you wasn't wrong.

She was just living with the information that she had at the time and she deserves your grace, compassion and self love for that.

While she's not wrong, she is done and she doesn't serve this current era of your life, so there's no point bringing her along with you.

You can't carry an outdated identity into your new reality.

You can't want a higher frequency, but keep resonating with all of your old self talk and habits.

And honestly, it's really hard because you have to stop walking into rooms and connecting with the old version of yourself.

Stop introducing yourself as who you've always been and start introducing yourself as who you're about to become.

Yes it might not be right yet because you don't necessarily have the results to prove it.

But that is exactly how you quantum leap and you time by pretending you are who you're meant to be before you have the proof to see that you're already her.

Because you were always, inevitably meant to be her.

While it might sound crazy, there's so much evidence of this being true.

Before you can be an influencer with a million followers, you have to post and be consistent like you're already one.

You have to talk to an audience that you don't already have and then the results come.

But on a more personal level, I had to stop connecting to the 15 year old version of myself.

That was like the peak of who I had been majority of my life.

I always shrunk myself and wanted to hide.

So even though that was the truth of my past and my identity so far in my life, as I entered my 20s, I had to stop walking into rooms and events alone and thinking.

No, because every single time you repeat that experience, you are simply rewiring your brain to continue believing that about yourself.

How is your brain supposed to change and support your new life and self if you keep telling it the same old story when you are growing and changing?

Yes, you do need to learn so many things.

But truthfully, the hardest part isn't learning the new things.

It's unlearning everything you've grown to be so accustomed to in your life.

That's what becoming a woman of your dreams is actually all about.

It's about detaching from your old story.

Detaching from what society and your friends and your peers and people throughout your life have told you what you are and instead creating the definition of who you want to be and running with that instead of.

Once you detach from who you used to be, your new story can finally begin.

And this links into my next point, which is I don't allow who I have been to determine who I can be.

I used to feel so trapped in the version of myself I always had been, who had struggled to make friends and was never that confident and was never that girl that that fact made me nervous.

Turning up to events and going to rooms and introducing myself to people because I was still listening to that old story and who I had been.

It reduced the amount of people I was talking to and the types of people I was talking to.

I was totally staying in my comfort zone.

And so the only way to step out of that was to create my alter ego.

I imagined what the most confident version of myself would look like.

And that itself allowed me to adopt extroverted traits before I necessarily felt ready or deserving or worthy to have them.

But it allowed me to successfully step into that character and do everything I needed to do to forget my old story and build up enough evidence that I could be confident and I could talk to people for.

For me to be able to forget that old identity.

My next piece of advice is so important, and

this is that you need to focus on the steps, not the goal.

Something that a lot of people tend to forget.

For example, let's say your goal is to Find your dream healthy relationship and soulmate.

Every single girl talks about wanting that.

The reason they don't get it is because they haven't changed their mindsets and therefore their realities to be able to obtain it.

I was just expecting to find the true love that I'd always wanted, thinking it was going to fall into my lap.

And I didn't find it until I detached from it and instead shifted all of that focus to working on myself instead.

Not working on myself to find a man, not working on myself to fall in love, working on myself for myself.

I completely fell in love with my journey on self love.

And I read books about healthy relationships and love also for the benefit of me.

So, so that I would stop falling into toxic relationships and stop being attracted to the people that were wrong for me.

I had to change my mindset about men being trash.

Because let me tell you, walking around saying that men are terrible isn't going to get you the man that you want to find.

I took the time to set my dating standards, but

I also took myself on dates so that I was confident enough to have my own independence outside of a romantic relationship.

I manifested and I went into detail on the ideals of not only my dream life, but

also the ideal date in my dream healthy romantic relationship.

I worked on my love languages, how I give love, how I reciprocate, how I set boundaries and communicate in a relationship.

Because communication was something I was really bad at.

I filled my own cup and focused on all the other relationships in my life, like family and friendships.

Through all of that, I became the type of person that could be a soulmate to somebody else in a healthy relationship.

Not only do you need to find somebody who can give you a healthy relationship to you need to become the type of person that can exist and build and grow in a healthy relationship yourself.

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