Name: Why people in China are pretending to get married - What in the World podcast, BBC World Service
Uploaded: 2025-11-21T13:43:06.000Z
Duration: 13 min 50 s
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Okay, so just to get this right, they don't actually get married.

It's all for show, to please the parents.

Have you ever imagined who you'll get married to?

We know that's on the rise, but here's a plot twist.

What if your future partner isn't someone who's the love of your life, but

instead someone you've bodied up with to appear married, but in reality, you actually live quite separate lives?

In today's episode, we're hearing why more young people in China are choosing to say I do to marriage bodies.

I'm Ikra Farooq and this is what's in the World from the BBC World Service.

And I'm with Wan Cheng zhang from the BBC's Global China unit.

Who is the woman who knows all about this?

I want to talk to you about marriage bodies.

That term, can you just break it down for us?

So the term marriage body actually comes from the bigger trend of the body culture in China.

So in recent years has been very popular for young Chinese people to search for a body on social media.

And that's to say if you want a companion in your life, if you are into running, you want to find a running body, if you want to do, if you want to travel, you can find a travel body or if you want to go to experience with.

And so the idea of marriage body actually is, for me, it's like an extreme version of this body culture.

Because traditional speaking, when we talk about marriage, we're thinking that this is a relationship with that is probably one of the most private or intimate one.

But in this marriage body relationship, you will see couples will have clear separate division of their life.

So for example, they will split their finances and their friend circles quite separately.

They might not even live together under the same roof.

So, yeah, it's more like a relationship with a lot of boundaries and distance.

Okay, so we'll get into some of the reasons why some people are choosing to take this route of finding a marriage body.

But we've actually got a hold of someone.

I know you've been talking to someone who's in the process of finding a marriage body for themselves.

I was raised by my grandfather and now he's not in great health.

He said one of his biggest wishes is to see me get married while he's still alive.

I have lots of friends in my life, so I don't usually feel lonely or bored.

I actually feel quite happy and fulfilled living alone.

But because of the traditional expectations, the pressure from family and society, they think I've reached the right age and to get married.

Since I want to fulfill my grandfather's wish, I was looking for someone around my age with similar needs so that we can help each other.

For the past three months, every day, I would receive direct messages from men who want to be marriage buddy.

When I met the fifth person, I felt I found a good match.

We won't live together and won't share daily life together like a conventional couple.

And since his parents also live in another city, we will both make time to look after each other's families when needed.

For me personally, I don't want to invest all my emotions just into one person.

I don't think it's necessary to share every hobby or interest with a single partner.

Like, I can play badminton with someone who enjoys badminton.

I can go out for dinner with someone who loves food.

Every hobby or interest can be shared with the right person.

It doesn't have to come from just one person.

To be honest, it's really hard to meet someone who matches you perfectly in terms of interests and lifestyle.

People in our generation are more individualistic.

So lots of us don't want to be tied down by a traditional marriage where we often see two people get stuck, stuck together with all those family dramas, we don't want to add unnecessary fire to our lives.

So those are some of Linda's reasons for finding a marriage body.

What sort of reasons are young people choosing to take this route?

I would say the most direct motivations for young children to find a marriage buddy is the.

As you can see from what Linda said that she wanted to find a marriage body as soon as possible because that was the last wish of her grandfather.

And it's actually, culturally speaking, it's very, very common for the older generation to believe that once you hit the age of 30, you are supposed to get married and you're supposed to have children and then, you know, sort of building up your stable life.

But the thing is that for the younger generation is getting married is no longer a priority for Them.

And that's because, especially after the post Covid economy, that China's economy is struggling and there is this very high unemployment rate among young people.

And at the same time, especially if you live in big urban cities, you have to cope with these high cost of living.

So it's already stressed enough for a lot of young people to live alone and let alone all those family commitments, responsibilities.

So that's why a lot of Chinese young people, they don't want to get married nowadays.

And then we can see their reluctance in data as well.

So China is actually experiencing the lowest marriage rates in decades since 1980s.

And at the same time we are seeing also the rising divorce rate as well as the declining birth rate.

And another factor I think Chinese young people are really choosing this marriage body is also because that we are talking about people who were born in the 90s, which means they were born under China's one child policy.

So that means they grew up being alone and then doing whatever they want, having this free life without, you know, sharing your life with other people.

But then I will say, how do they actually cope with this stress from their parents?

Like in Linda's case, I think then they come up with this marriage body idea that is sort of like a compromise or middle ground for them that on the one hand they can continue with their happy single life, on the other hand they can just be a good child to their parents.

Okay, so just get this right, they don't actually get married.

It's all for show to please the parents, Is that right?

Would you say this is quite a popular route people are taking in China at the moment?

Yeah, I would definitely say it's a trendy one that when I was searching the word marriage body on Chinese social media, Red Book, I have seen a lot of posts by young people across China who talk about their self and then talk about the criteria they are looking for for their marriage body.

And I wanted to add that social media plays such an important role into this marriage body trend because the algorithm just makes so easy and simple for someone to find to find a marriage buddy.

And if you think about it, it's fascinating that the day before you were just two strangers online and then the next day you're talking about marriage, which was Linda's case.

And I guess in that case, if you choose to find a marriage body and you found one, would you share that with your parents?

Like how you guys met or is it something that's a bit more hidden I would say it's definitely something more hidden because we talk about the.

The stress and the pressure from the parents.

So the idea that a lot of people choose to have marriage, buddy, is because they wanted to make their parents happy.

And of course, this is something that you probably need to hide from, otherwise they will think that you are being tricky with them.

So it's this very nature of performative relationship that is really pushing the young people to find the marriage body.

Performative relationship, and I guess performative kind of marriage.

But what about the actual practicality of that?

Does that come with some legal benefits of doing this?

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Why people in China are pretending to get married - What in the World podcast, BBC World Service

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