Name: Trump Brokers Peace in the Middle East & Declares War Against Antifa in Portland? | The Daily Show
Uploaded: 2025-10-13T05:49:44.000Z
Duration: 11 min 9 s
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Let's get right into the biggest story in the world.

Adverbs of degree

This is one of those sentences that you almost never hear.

But there's good news coming out of the Middle East.

President Trump was the first to announce that Israel and Hamas have agreed to the first phase of a deal that could lead to the end of the war in Gaza.

This is peace in the Middle east, and it's an incredible thing.

Over in Gaza, Palestinian men and boys ran into the streets, clapping and cheering.

That's right, a peace deal has been reached between Israel and Hamas, and

it's based on the framework Donald Trump proposed, which means another thing you almost never hear.

I gotta give Donald Trump some props here.

In fact, I can only think of this, the COVID vaccine and Home Alone 2.

Don't get me wrong, this is astonishing, because if this peace holds, it means the guy who couldn't stop a fight between Gary Busey and Meatloaf brokered peace in the Middle East.

So, Trump, when it comes to peace, you did it.

You know, I mean, you also did a big portion of the war, but

It's like how white people did slavery in America, but.

Either way, this is a reason to celebrate.

And look, if this deal holds, maybe we should give Trump the Nobel Peace Prize, or, or, Or.

And you won't like this, either we let him burn the Epstein files.

All right, now, maybe you're wondering how the world found out about this peace deal.

Was it a grand announcement like the Tree of Versailles, or like the end of World War II where nurses and soldiers met up in Times Square just to make out?

The President interrupted by Secretary of State Marco Rubio, seen handing him a note and then whispering in Trump's ear.

Photographers catching the handwritten message.

We need you to approve a truth social post soon so you can announce deal first.

So when I see one all misspelled and half in caps at three in the morning, that was the plan.

It's like scheduling that you're gonna shit your pants.

If he can resolve the conflict in the Middle east, maybe he truly is the president of peace.

Maybe some of that peace and tranquility is gonna come back to us.

President Trump sending National Guard troops into American cities.

Trump is insisting that troops are needed in cities like Chicago, Memphis and Portland.

We have an insurrection act for a reason.

Damn, this feels like he made peace abroad just so he could bring everybody back to whoop ass here.

I mean, a president hasn't invoked the insurrect since the LA riots, which for Trump is actually a surprisingly recent precedent.

Usually he's invoking something that hasn't been used in 300 years, like the anti witch.

You can toss a bitch off a cliff at of 1692, but

what's happening in Portland that requires Trump to send troops in?

Well, Trump held a big meeting yesterday to explain why it should be clear to all Americans that we have a very serious left wing terror threat in our country.

Radicals associated with the domestic terror group Antifa.

That's who you're declaring a domestic terrorist organization?

That's tricky because while there are people who identify as Antifa, it isn't really an official group.

Like my cousin's baby has its own website.

You put your ear to his mom's stomach and you just heard, I'm coming.

So no website, no brick and mortar store.

So if you're sending troops to Portland, how sophisticated could Antifa be?

This network of Antifa is just as sophisticated as Ms. 13, as TDA, as ISIS, as Hezbollah, as Hamas, as all of them.

She made Antifa feel like the power rangers of terror.

They got some, Everybody, they got Ms. 13, ISIS, they got letters, numbers, Hezbollah, Hamas.

I don't know what TDA is, but they got some of that too.

Okay, Kristi Noem, your Homeland Security, you gotta get out there to Portland and take care of business.

Kristi Noem went on the roof of the ICE building to survey the scene.

Okay, okay, that doesn't look that scary.

But you have to remember how scary it is for her to encounter a farm animal when she's unarmed.

But you know these cities, they look innocent during the day.

I bet you that was just the Antifa that doesn't have jobs.

That must be when Antifa comes out to do all the nasty terrorism.

Let's look at Portland at night this week.

Listen, Trump, I'M trying to be an ally, but right now, I don't really see dangerous criminals.

And I'm not sure we need the military for that because everything that they claim is happening in Portland, it's all happening on one city block in front of one ICE building.

The rest of the city is completely normal.

So it's normal, but it's like Portland normal.

Like there will be a naked guy with a handlebar mustache riding a unicycle down the street.

So far all I've seen is a guy in a chicken suit and an episode of Barney.

The amazing thing is you look at Portland and you see fires all over the place.

It's like the movies where you have these bombed out cities.

I don't know what could be worse than Portland.

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Trump Brokers Peace in the Middle East & Declares War Against Antifa in Portland? | The Daily Show

incredible

phenomenon

sophisticated

nasty