Name: Why I Had to Learn Small Talk
Uploaded: 2025-09-27T14:09:03.000Z
Duration: 14 min 56 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

Future simple

So today we're going to talk about small talk, how you do it, why you need it and everything in between.

Today I'm in a different location, I'm in Vienna right now in this beautiful park.

Past simple

I decided to just come for a walk and make a video, why not?

So I come from a post-Soviet Eastern European country called Moldova and we don't really have small talk there.

If you ask somebody, how are you, they're either going to tell you all their medical history and their personal life issues or they're just going to look at you like you're crazy.

And honestly, I've always thought that small talk is kind of stupid, it's a waste of time.

But when I moved to Canada, I very quickly realized that small talk is necessary and that I need it and that it doesn't matter what I think about it.

So today I'm going to tell you or I'm going to try to explain why it feels awkward, why it is important and what expressions and phrases and questions you can have in your back pocket in case you need small talk.

So it becomes a bit more fun and interesting rather than a nerve-wracking experience.

But before I dive in, make sure to check my website theforeignson.com.

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Okay, let's start with what the hell is small talk?

We go straight to the point, you ask a question, you give the answer according to the question.

The answer has to be honest, has to be accurate and has to be actual, has to be up to date to the reality, to the current time.

And for us, it's not a problem to start with negatives and tell you that my cat is sick or my back hurts or I have so many things to do and I'm so stressed out.

But in English speaking countries, small talk is like social glue.

You show your friendliness, your approachability every time you meet someone new.

You don't have to love it, but you need it if you want to connect with people outside your country and get that networking going.

So many different questions in the moment.

Small talk is not about you saying what you need to say.

It's about making the other person comfortable and you showing interest in them.

So I never really thought that small talk is so necessary until I moved to Canada and I started working as a restaurant manager where I had to communicate with my team, customers, guests, executives, trades people, like so much more communication than I would normally do.

And every single time they would either call someone or contact someone or meet someone, they would have this small interaction at the beginning of their conversation before they moved into the professional business topics.

And because I was around, I was actually paying attention at how they're doing it.

And I realized that for those first few minutes of small talk, people get to feel a little bit more relaxed around each other.

So when it comes to doing business a few minutes later, they have this rapport going on already and it's not just like, okay, open the door or call and we go straight into business.

We haven't exchanged a single question or answer or sentence and let's get down to business.

And when the time came for me to interact with all these people, I realized how much easier the connection was happening was forming when I had a little question ready or a little interest in that person.

That person was already much more open and willing to talk to me about pretty much anything.

So when the time came for me to start these conversations, I realized that having something in my back pocket or up my sleeve, some little questions, some casual light jokes, some fun greetings or something helped me so much to break the ice, not only for them, but also for me.

So instead of that first interaction being stiff and awkward because it was the first contact ever made with that person, we gave each other the space to become a little bit more relaxed.

So based on my personal experiences, I learned that small talk was not just fluff.

It was an actual real tool to build trust, to open doors, and to make sure that I'm able to create those connections and network the way native speakers do.

On top of that, every time you have a first interaction with someone, this is your chance to create a first impression, right?

And people don't really remember exactly what you said, but they remember how you made them feel.

So if in that little small talk portion of your conversation, you are friendly, you are open, you're approachable, people feel relaxed around you.

So imagine you're at a networking event, at a conference or something, and the person right next to you could be your potential new client, or your potential new partner or colleague.

If you don't say anything, you miss that chance.

And trust me, the other person thinks the same way.

They're probably also nervous to say something.

They're probably also overthinking what they want to say or are about to say.

So one of you has to take the first step.

Consider small talk like a little bridge over to bigger conversations, more serious conversations.

For example, if you're in an elevator, you have a very short amount of time to create this connection with someone, right?

So a simple hi, how are you or hi, how's your day is enough.

If you are standing in line at a coffee shop, right, you can ask things like, have you been here before?

Literally anything for those couple of minutes that you're in line together, so the silence isn't awkward.

And you never know, that could literally be your neighbor and you would have never known.

You are saying to the other person indirectly, I see you, I care enough to ask you something.

I care enough to start a conversation with you.

So how do you actually get good at small talk?

Rule number one, don't try to be interesting.

People love talking about themselves, so you have to let them.

You have to be there to listen more than to talk.

You can notice little details, maybe about their outfit.

And you always have to finish your sentence with another question, because you're passing the mic to the other person.

And if you're a little bit shy or you're a little bit introverted, that's totally fine.

What you need to do is just to have a few questions ready to go whenever you need them.

Literally anything connected to the area, the circumstance, the environments that you're in.

So if you want the conversations to keep flowing naturally, you just have to finish your sentence with another question.

And then if they know that, they will finish their sentence with another question.

It just takes the pressure off of you and lets them talk.

And because that person likes talking about them, you just ask them another question, and then another question, and then another question.

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Why I Had to Learn Small Talk

literally

awkward

potential

extremely