Name: FTM Transgender - HOW I CAME OUT!
Uploaded: 2025-07-31T09:50:15.000Z
Duration: 7 min 57 s
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Past simple

Hello, so today I would like to share with you how I came out to my family and my friends.

To-infinitive

So I came out to my mom, um, like exactly a year ago, and I came out to my friends before I came out to my mom because I believe that it is important to have a group of people that support you outside of your home before you put your home life in danger, basically.

So like, have a group of supportive friends before you tell your family.

So basically what I did was I told my friends, um, I told my, okay, I told my close, close friends and I was like, basically, hey, this is what's happening, this is what I'm questioning, and I told them that way, and I just said, like, I'm questioning this and I need help with this and, you know, come here, look at this with me, let's, like, look at these videos together, let's, you know, stuff like that, and I really wanted to include them and, like, educate them before I was like, I am for sure going to do this, even though I knew I was.

I was just, like, easing them into it and stuff like that.

I told my mom one night and I was like, hey, mom, I want to go see a gender therapist and, you know, I've been questioning things and stuff like that, you know, again, you just, like, I wanted to ease her into it so I wasn't like, guess what, mom, you know?

So that's what happened and then we went to go see the gender therapist and I went to go see her, like, maybe two or three times at first and then I thought, okay, it's time to tell my mom, I think it's time to start, like, easing her into it even more, and, yeah.

So one day she was at work and I sent her an email and I'm going to read that email to you now.

And this is the first time I've read it since I sent it, so, dear mom, this email is going to cover a lot, so be prepared.

After I came out as bi or lesbian or whatever you want to call it, people asked me questions because they needed advice.

Advice for dealing with gay thoughts or bullying and mostly advice for coming out to parents or other loved ones.

To answer their question, I would usually tell them my story and then end by saying, you'll know when the time is right, when the situation is right, and when everyone around you is ready.

Recently we haven't been getting along very well, so this might not be the right time nor the right situation, but I'm hoping that this will bring us closer.

I'm ready to open up to you and explain how I've been feeling, why I've been so angry and isolated.

I told you a few weeks ago that I've been questioning my gender identity.

I thought that was the best way to bring it up, to say that I'm confused and I wanted to talk with someone.

Talking with a therapist has really helped me.

Um, before I go any further, I want you to understand a few things.

Most people don't believe that sex and gender are different things, when in fact they are.

Sex is determined by what genitals you're born with, also called your biological sex.

On the other hand, gender is what you identify as, what you believe you are, and what you feel like on the inside.

Most transgender people suffer from what is called dysphoria, specifically gender dysphoria.

Gender dysphoria is defined as unhappiness with one's biological sex or its usual gender role, with the desire for the body and role of the opposite sex.

In my own words, dysphoria is a terrible feeling that causes anxiety, suicidal thoughts and other very unpleasant emotions.

It's when someone feels so out of place within themselves that they can't look in the mirror and feel the slightest bit of happiness.

Everything feels wrong, out of place, and just not right.

Some days it brings me to tears and other days it doesn't affect me, but it's there.

This isn't something that I've decided overnight.

I've thought about this for a long, long time now.

Part of me feels like I've waited my whole life for this opportunity to be who I want.

I just want you to be open-minded and open-hearted.

In my opinion, anyone in their right mind would not choose a life of discrimination and pain.

It's not a choice, but I'm proud of who I am and I hope you are too.

This journey is going to be painful and hard, but I promise it'll be worth it.

I believe people are uneducated and have a very distorted view on transgenders, and I'm willing to be a part of the process to bring people to greater understanding and to realize that we're no different.

I'm not trying to be heroic or brave as you've told me before.

So that's what I sent to my mom, and I don't know if she replied or what she said.

I don't really remember, but you know, it's hard for any parent or any friend because they feel like they're losing, you know, basically the person that you were before when in fact they're not.

You're just becoming who you are, and I think, you know, really the only thing that changes is your appearance, you know?

The outside matches the inside, and that's what I think some people don't understand.

You know, they think that you're becoming a whole new person, and you're not.

But however, I do think transitioning does change you, obviously.

It changed me at first for the worst, but now for the better.

At first it was hard, and I, uh, I wasn't in a good spot, wasn't good, and then now I'm here, and I feel like, um, with hormones and stuff like that, it's all starting to come together, and it's a really, really good feeling.

So yeah, um, that is how I came out to my family and my friends.

And with my friends, I basically wrote them a letter also on Facebook, and I said something similar to this when I wrote, um, basically just explaining what it was that I want them to call me male pronouns, and use the name Benton, and just stuff like that, and just, you know, yeah.

It's weird with being, being gay, or being trans, or being whatever, because you come out once to a big group of people, and everyone knows, like, within a week, and I don't think I've had to come out again since then.

Everyone, you know, my friends told their friends, who told their friends, who told their parents, who, who just knew.

Everyone just adjusted really well, and I was really lucky, I think, so, yeah.

So if you have any questions, or comments, or whatever, you can leave me a comment in the comments, or you can message me on, on, um, Tumblr, and I'll answer it.

Hello, so today I wanted to talk about...