Name: Our Secret Wish Never to Find Love
Uploaded: 2025-07-28T18:13:49.000Z
Duration: 3 min 17 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

Modal verbs - B1

The process of locating a partner we can love is famously so hard, it may for a long time disguise an alternative, even more complicated reality, that whatever we claim, it would be a lot easier for us if we never found a partner. The hurdles of dating undeniably exist. That doesn't mean that they aren't also being gratefully used to hide, mostly from ourselves, a harder-to-mention wish to remain on our own. Consciously, we may tell ourselves that we would dearly love to land on a compatible partner. Inside, we are hard at work ensuring we won't – and for a variety of hugely understandable reasons.

Transition words & phrases

Because it's simply too painful to hope. Because we've realised that we have too much talent for identifying people who then go on to torment us. Because we've had enough of other people's madness and too much experience of our own. Because we end up feeling that humans are probably best to be enjoyed from a distance. Because recovery from a love that promised a future can rob us of too many of our remaining years. Because we've understood finally how properly difficult we are to live with. Because no one is as perfect as the many attractive strangers we will never speak to. Because longing alone can be so much more gratifying than a scratchy day-to-day reality with someone else. Because if we never love, we cannot be hurt. Because there has to be a limit to how many times we can be expected to take off our clothes in front of a stranger. And last and not least, because we didn't have the sort of childhood to develop the right instincts for this game.

Adverbs of degree

But as these are all very difficult thoughts to own up to, to ourselves and our friends, we may prefer to disguise our true intentions behind a choreography of well-designed accidents.

Love would have been delightful. It was just that we chose people who we knew would be busy. We failed to call back those who were keen. We left the party before most people arrived. We've declared that they're all boring and unattractive. We disappointed others before they stood any chance of disappointing us.

As a result, we can continue to experience with security one of the most risk-free of all beliefs, that we would love to love if only we found the right person. We may be denied a partner, but we can hold on to something yet more precious, a sense of safety and a sure belief that the appropriate candidate would, if they arrived, be capable of solving our suffering. There may be few stronger romantics than those who manage carefully and sometimes even wisely to steer clear of anyone to be romantic with.