Name: Friendships in America┃Learn American English Pronunciation On the Go
Uploaded: 2025-07-27T18:06:44.000Z
Duration: 32 min 56 s
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You're listening to the Rachel's English Podcast.

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In this podcast, we discuss topics in American conversation, pronunciation, and culture.

If you would like a free transcript for this podcast, just visit rachelsenglish.com slash podcast and look for this episode.

And we're going to talk about friendships in America.

So I think you're probably going to have a lot to add to this one.

So I want to, the thing that made me think about this podcast is two different emails that I got.

And this person whose username is managementcourses said, you're so lucky to have friends who are supportive, both males and females.

David, this was on a video that I made with Dave at the 4th of July when we were in Clark Park talking about 4th of July traditions.

I'll link to that video in the show notes, everybody.

But it was me with a friend who's a man discussing what we like to do on the 4th of July.

So this person says, can you make a video on how to build more supportive friendships?

In my culture after marriage, the wife's friendships suffer and you can't keep close friendships with the opposite sex.

I had the misconception that Americans don't value friendship or their friendships are not long lasting or shallow.

I'm so glad that my videos showed that Americans do value friendship and that friendships are not just shallow or short lived.

But so let's try to talk a little bit about friendships.

Let's focus in on some of the specific questions.

How to build more supportive friendships?

Now, part of what's so great about having David on this podcast is not only does he have a ton of friends, but he's also a therapist.

And so he talks to a lot of other people about their friendships and their relationships in general and has a lot of things to say about this kind of thing, I think.

David, what would you say makes a better friend, makes someone a good friend?

Well, first of all, I guess while I'm thinking of it, I think part of what's interesting is that from a non-native speaker's perspective or someone who's new to American culture, I think because of advertising and sort of just the way things look from the outside, I think it's easy to assume that for all of us, really, that for other people making friends is really easy.

I think it's something that we feel like we should be able to do.

Everybody else is out there having a good time.

When in reality, I think the opposite is true.

I think the majority of people are either wishing they had more friendships or wishing that things about the friendships that they do have might be a little bit different.

They often wish that they were more close with more people.

So I think that's the first thing that popped to mind is that a lot of people, non-native speakers and native speakers alike struggle with this.

I really appreciate the courage in the question because I don't think a lot of people bring this up.

I mean, as I'm sitting here listening to you talk about this, I'm thinking, you know, I could definitely say that this is true of me living in Philadelphia.

I've been here for three years now, and I'm definitely starting to make some friends that feel like really, really quality friendships.

But I can't say that I've made any of those by myself.

They're all friends that I made through David that David already had established some sort of a relationship with.

I haven't met somebody that I've turned into a friend, really, on my own.

You've been connected to some friends of friends.

When you move somewhere new, you look for connections you have to people that are there already.

But as far as, you know, if you were moving to America to go to school or for a job or something where you didn't already have anyone established in that town or in that city, that would make it really hard to know where to start.

And I think, you know, for me, I could definitely say as an adult, three years into that experience, I don't really have people that I have met because I have been introduced to them in a way other than through someone I already knew.

But having said that, we do have good friends here.

And it is true that do value friendship, even though probably a lot of people might like to have more friends or more closer friendships than they have.

Yeah, I think to answer that part of her question, absolutely.

I think Americans very much value friendships.

Of course, it looks different in all cultures.

But I think also something in the comment is also true that it can it can be difficult when it is across gender.

I mean, yes, your video with Dave at the park, it's a great video, and you guys are good friends, and it is not a big deal at all.

But I also think it's not uncommon for that to be, you know, something that causes tension in relationships in this country.

Well, not even complication, but tension, you know, like, or sort of, there's a temptation to be distrustful of your partner.

Yes, but I'm talking about for single people, there's complication there.

I mean, you're talking about if you're married, then like this person said, after marriage, then friendship suffers and you can't keep close friends, keep a close friendship with opposite sex.

It can be complicated if David had, although you do have really close friends that are women, and it's not weird for me yet, but I suppose it could be depending on if one friendship just really set out from the rest, stood out from the rest as being just extra super important to you, that could be hard for me.

Well, I'm not saying it should cause tension.

I think it should be, the assumption should be that it's healthy and good and fine.

But I'm just, you know, to her point, it's not just in the culture that she's coming from, but I think here also people make undue tension out of that situation here as well.

It's definitely not strange to have friends of the opposite sex after you've become married.

And it sounds like she might be saying it's really frowned upon in her culture.

But I do value, you know, like we have a friend who was one of my friends.

Now you've become really close with her, Renee.

And I love that you're so close with her because, you know, I love her too.

But yeah, I think that can be really special.

I do think when you're single and you're friends with someone of the opposite sex who's also single, if that friendship gets really close, it can start to be complicated.

People might be asking you a lot if there's something going on.

And I just know from personal experience that at one point, at some point, you may need to have a conversation like, are we just friends or are we more than friends?

Yeah, I see where you're going with this.

Yeah, that's over more into, right, what's romantic and what's not.

Do you remember, David, where they were talking about can men and women be friends?

And I think it was Seinfeld was saying, no, they can't be.

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Friendships in America┃Learn American English Pronunciation On the Go

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