Name: Trump Threatens To Kill Iran's Leader | Pentagon Pizza Report | 10 Years Gone | New MAGA Merch
Uploaded: 2025-06-18T16:48:13.000Z
Duration: 11 min 30 s
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Welcome to The Late Show. I'm your host, Stephen Colbert.

I don't... I don't know about you, but I'm feeling pretty nostalgic for last week, when all we had to worry about was a civil war.

Because as we speak, Donald Trump is weighing whether to get America involved in yet another Mideast war.

If he does so, if he goes in, this would go against everything he campaigned on for the last ten years.

What's next? Are we gonna find out that it's not fun to stay at the YMCA?

Here's... here's... here's the situation.

On Friday, Israel, which has been nervous for a couple of decades now about the Ayatollah getting the nukey bone bones, launched attacks against Iran.

Now, the U.S. says it hasn't been directly involved, but yesterday, Trump rushed back to D.C.

So either the United States is about to jump in, or he just got bored during the G7 icebreakers.

Guten tag. My name is Chancellor Friedrich Merz.

One thing to know, the U.S. is the only country with, like, the one-of-a-kind kind of ground-penetrating weapons that could reach Iran's deeply buried nuclear enrichment facility.

So the Israeli government wants us to jump in with both bunker busts and feet.

One Israeli source said, we are cooking everything up for the U.S.

Like in soccer, we broke through the opponent's defense.

We passed all their players, and now we have given the USA pass into a spot where they are alone in front of the goalkeeper.

Okay, sounds good. Just one flaw to your plan.

Americans don't know anything about soccer.

We have the ball, but what do you do in front of the goalkeeper?

Is that when you fall down to pretend that you hurt your knee?

So, is America getting involved in another Middle Eastern war?

Ever since this started, ever since this started,

I gave Iran chance after chance to make a deal.

I told them in the strongest words to just do it.

But no matter how hard they tried, no matter how close they got, they just couldn't get it done.

Certain Iranian hardliners spoke bravely, but they didn't know what was about to happen.

They're all dead now, and it will only get worse.

Oh, my God, is he gonna invite them to his next parade?

Everyone should immediately evacuate Tehran.

That's a traffic jam the size of New Jersey.

When French President Emmanuel Macron told the press that Trump left the G7 to work on a cease-fire,

He has no idea why I'm now on my way to Washington, but it certainly has nothing to do with a cease-fire.

Maybe not the most subtle message from the commander-in-chief.

Can't say much more, but it rhymes with smorgandie.

Instead of negotiations, Trump is talking tough.

If they do anything to our people, we'll come down so hard, then the gloves are off so beautifully.

The gloves are off so beautifully, the cat is out of a very sexy bag.

Push is moving in on shove, and I hope they're gonna kiss.

Then this afternoon, the president posted this.

We know exactly where the so-called supreme leader is hiding.

And I got to say, putting parentheses around kill does not make it any better.

Don't worry, son, your dog Sparky is just visiting a farm upstate.

He's running around a sunny meadow full of flowers.

Now the U.S. says they have no involvement with Israel's war plans, but there were some clues that our military was at least aware of what was going on, specifically, there's a Twitter handle called the Pentagon Pizza Report, which tracks activity at local pizza joints, indicating a surge in takeout deliveries to military personnel working overtime.

About an hour before the bombing began, they noted a huge surge in activity from We The Pizza, Domino's,

District Pizza Palace, and Extreme Pizza.

Spies could be tracking our war maneuvers via local pizza chains.

This is a fast food security scandal that I'm calling PizzaGate.

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Trump Threatens To Kill Iran's Leader | Pentagon Pizza Report | 10 Years Gone | New MAGA Merch

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