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Have you ever felt a love so intense it consumes you?
The thought of them takes over your mind and you'd give up everything just for a moment with them.
Everything they do affects your mood, but is it love or is it obsession?
And why does this happen?
In our previous video on the stages of obsessive love, many of you shared your stories.
Our goal today is to let you know that it's not your fault if you feel this type of attachment.
Your brain is changing in ways that make it hard to get a grip on your emotions.
We're wired for connection because it's crucial for our survival and wellbeing, but when our brain goes into overdrive, it's often due to excess chemicals like dopamine or oxytocin leading to obsessive thoughts and behaviors as our brain tries to maintain that intense connection.
So in this video, we'll dive into the science behind why this happens how it affects you and what you can do about it.
Dopamine.
First comes dopamine, a hormone involved in your brain's reward system.
It plays a crucial role in the thrill of falling in love.
When you first meet someone special, your brain releases a surge of dopamine making you feel euphoric and alive.
Suddenly everything about them feels like a reward.
Their smile, the sound of their voice, or even a simple text message, all of it triggers a dopamine release.
As time goes on, that initial high turns into a serious craving.
This happens because your brain learns to link their attention and presence with feeling good, making you desire more of that rewarding feeling.
If you don't hear from them for a hot minute, you might feel anxiety creeping in.
Your mind races with thoughts like, are they ghosting me?
Did I say something wrong?
The need for their attention becomes an addiction.
This is called reward learning, and it's exactly what leads you to obsessively crave your special person and what makes you feel so lost without them.
Oxytocin.
As you share sweet moments, oxytocin, often referred to as the love hormone, deepens emotional bonds.
When you share a physical closeness, like cuddling, holding hands, or just binge watching a show together, oxytocin levels rise, flooding your brain with feelings of warmth and safety.
But with high levels of oxytocin, the fear of separation grows, and that emotional bond becomes hard to break.
You might start to feel anxious when you're apart, wondering, what are they doing?
Are they with someone else?
This fear can lead to clingy or needy behaviors, like double texting or constantly checking if they've seen your messages.
The thought of separation can feel unbearable, and you may become dependent and anxiously attached to them.
Testosterone.
Next, testosterone levels rise.
This is a hormone linked to sexual desire and aggression.
When testosterone levels are high, you may find yourself feeling passionate and incredibly attracted to them.
At the same time, testosterone stirs up competitive feelings, making you wanna grab all of their attention and keep others at bay.
It also creates a sense of possessiveness, leading to feelings of jealousy.
Someone else sliding into their DMs, not a chance.
This intensity can make you feel overly protective and even lead to some controlling behaviors.
Cortisol.
These emotional roller coasters increase the release of cortisol, the stress hormone.
When your love becomes obsessive, cortisol spikes, leading to intense stress.
You constantly worry about your partner's feelings or the future of the relationship, and it can lead to sleepless nights filled with racing thoughts.
Then your body might respond to this chronic stress with physical symptoms like tension headaches or nausea.
You end up in a never-ending loop of fearing rejection and abandonment.
And as time goes on, these insecurities may even start to overshadow the love you had for them at the beginning.
Serotonin.
Serotonin, another feel-good hormone, also plays a role in your feelings.
When love turns obsessive, serotonin levels drop significantly.
This decrease is similar to what happens in individuals with obsessive-compulsive disorder.
This might explain why those experiencing obsessive love often have similar patterns of intrusive, repetitive thoughts.
Are they even into me?
Am I good enough?
Their texting seems off.
Are they mad?
Your brain becomes locked in a pattern of overanalyzing every interaction and interpreting every action as either a positive or negative signal.
And instead of warm and cozy, the love you feel becomes exhausting.
So what do we do?
If obsessive love has you feeling overwhelmed, there are ways to help yourself.
First, try mindfulness techniques like deep breathing or meditation to calm those racing thoughts.
When you catch yourself thinking, I can't live without them, flip it into, I am enough just as I am.
Focus on your own hobbies and friendships as nurturing your own interests can help you feel more balanced and less dependent on your partner or crush for happiness.
And if things feel too heavy to handle alone, don't hesitate to reach out to a therapist.
Talking to someone can provide support and help you find healthier ways to love.
Do you feel like you're stuck in a cycle of obsessive love?
Check out this video if you're unsure.
Remember, you're not alone in this journey.
And by working on yourself, you can transform your obsession into a beautiful, pure and calming love, the kind you truly deserve.
We hope our videos and community can support you along the way.
Thanks for watching and take care of yourself.
