Name: You Don’t Want Love—You Want to Be Picked So You Feel Worthy
Uploaded: 2025-05-08T02:44:03.000Z
Duration: 8 min 28 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

Adverbs of manner

Participle clauses

What you want, what you've been chasing is to be picked, chosen, validated.

You want someone to point at you and say, you, you're it.

Because somewhere deep down in your system, you internalized a very dangerous equation.

And anything that threatens that equation, anything that reminds you that real love is quiet and steady, you reject it.

Because being picked by someone you had to earn, especially someone emotionally unavailable, chaotic, hard to impress, that feels like redemption.

Let's rewind because this didn't start with romance.

Maybe it was a parent whose love you had to earn.

A caregiver who praised you only when you were useful but never when you were hurting.

A family system that rewarded performance and punished emotional needs.

You learned to be easy, charming, smart, helpful, pleasant, never too much.

You became whoever you needed to be just to avoid abandonment.

You became the version of yourself that was most likely to be chosen.

And the version of you that wasn't, you buried them.

You say you want love but what you mean is validation.

You say you want partnership but you mean a witness who will finally say you're good enough.

You mistake someone's unpredictability for a challenge you need to win.

Because deep down you believe that the harder they are to earn, the more valuable you must be if they choose you.

So you chase unavailable people and call it fate.

You pine after the one who won't text back and call it romantic tension.

You ignore the steady love that feels unfamiliar because deep down your nervous system is wired for chaos.

You are addicted to trying to prove that you're enough.

Which is why it feels boring, foreign, off.

Because real love doesn't spike your nervous system.

It doesn't make you question your worth every five minutes.

And to someone who was raised to perform, home feels suspicious because it doesn't ask you to earn it.

So my darling, what are you really afraid of?

You are afraid of being seen without the sparkle.

You are afraid of being held when you're not impressive.

What if when you finally stop performing, no one stays?

What if when the mask comes off, the love disappears?

If I can get that person to choose me, that person, the avoidant one, the emotionally distant one, the one who doesn't choose anyone, then maybe I'm finally good enough.

That's tying your worth to someone else's inability to love properly.

You want to be the one they couldn't ignore.

You want to be the person who finally got through to someone who would never let anyone else in.

Because if you can earn the love of the emotionally unavailable, then maybe finally you can stop doubting yourself.

You can stop asking what's wrong with you.

But this is where the whole thing collapses, my love.

Because even if they choose you, you still won't believe it.

Because the wound didn't begin with them.

And no one can love you into healing the parts of yourself you refuse to meet.

How do you go from chasing validation to actually letting yourself be loved?

You grieve the self who thought she had to be desirable to be kept.

You grieve the little girl who believed she had to be perfect to be loved.

You grieve the teenage version of you who thought being picked was proof of her value.

You stop turning love into a reward system.

You stop trying to be the most, the smartest, the sexiest, the easiest, the least complicated, the most healed.

You stop treating relationships like a test you need to pass.

You stop making your personality a resume.

You stop looking for someone to come and pick you and start choosing yourself.

You feel the heartbreak of how much energy you've spent contorting, performing, earning, chasing.

You let yourself mourn all the versions of you that were lovable but was never loved.

Subtitles ListPlay Video

You Don’t Want Love—You Want to Be Picked So You Feel Worthy

anxiety

properly

treat

impressive