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  • Lisa, wait.

  • I'm sorry.

  • I don't want you to not be in my life anymore.

  • I'd like us to be friends.

  • I'd like that too.

  • Good.

  • So when are you getting married?

  • We haven't set a date.

  • We're going to talk about it when Bo gets back from New York on Monday.

  • So you're all alone for Thanksgiving?

  • Yeah, why?

  • Change of plans.

  • The thing is, I really care for Lisa and she needs to believe I'm capable of changing.

  • Ah, but the thing is, you're not.

  • I don't know that.

  • I might be.

  • Who knows what would happen if I actually tried.

  • You're really serious about this?

  • Alan, I've got a 200-pound turkey melting in my lap.

  • What do you think?

  • Okay, okay.

  • How can I help?

  • Well, obviously we can't have a family Thanksgiving without a kid.

  • So you need to get Jake back from your wife.

  • Simple as that, huh?

  • Okay, so I go to Judith and I say, forget the fact that we agreed on a custody schedule.

  • Forget the fact that your parents are driving all the way from Sacramento to spend time with their grandson.

  • Charlie needs to use our son as a prop so that he can maintain an on-again, off-again relationship with a woman with whom he might eventually wind up.

  • You know what?

  • I'll talk to her.

  • No way in hell.

  • Are you insane?

  • What's wrong with you?

  • Judith, what is Thanksgiving about if not family?

  • And wouldn't it be good for Jake to spend Thanksgiving with his whole family?

  • Because that's what Thanksgiving is about.

  • Family and stuff.

  • I don't know.

  • And you wouldn't have to lift a finger.

  • I'll have someone there to do the cooking, the serving, and the cleaning.

  • Really?

  • Who?

  • My housekeeper, Berta.

  • She's a saint and she's really looking forward to this.

  • No way in hell.

  • Are you insane?

  • What's wrong with you?

  • Come on.

  • I don't work my life, you know.

  • Pretty please?

  • My brother is in the witness protection program and I've been invited to spend Thanksgiving with him at an undisclosed location.

  • I'll give you $1,000.

  • Done.

  • Hi.

  • You must be Jake.

  • Yes, I am.

  • My wonderful Uncle Charlie has opened his home to me and my father because we had nowhere else to go.

  • Hey, Merry Thanksgiving.

  • Jake, why don't you go?

  • Okay.

  • I'm thankful for my mom and dad and my Uncle Charlie who has shown in the few short months that I've been here, he is capable of significant change and growth.

  • Too obvious?

  • A little bit.

  • Okay.

  • Well, I'm thankful that I can spend the holiday with all the people I love and all the people who love me.

  • And Judith.

  • I'm thankful I'll be dead someday and you'll all feel horrible you weren't nicer to me.

  • Well, I'm thankful for you.

  • And I hope you'll always be my friend.

  • Okay.

  • Well, I'm thankful for you too.

  • And I'm thankful for everybody coming together today as unwitting participants in my desperate charade.

  • Amen.

  • Hey, everybody, stop.

  • Mom, give me the knife.

  • Charlie, don't be silly.

  • You don't know how to carve a turkey.

  • Maybe not, but I'm the head of this household and the head of the household is supposed to carve the turkey.

  • Why?

  • Because you saw it on some TV show?

  • I swear you are just like your father.

  • No, I am not just like my father.

  • My father was afraid of you and I'm not anymore.

  • Okay, there was one unresolved issue.

  • Charlie, now you're being foolish.

  • Give me the knife and sit down.

  • Back off, lady.

  • Every Thanksgiving, you took the knife away from dad.

  • And when you did that, you took away his manhood.

  • Well, you're not going to take it away from me.

  • There.

  • See?

  • It's carved.

  • It's carved.

  • It's carved with my manhood.

  • I don't think I'm very hungry anymore.

  • Lisa, marry me.

  • Marry you?

  • You want me to marry you?

  • Yes.

  • You know, eventually.

  • For what it's worth, I do love you.

  • I know that.

  • Best of luck.

  • Thank you.

  • You look good in long pants.

  • Thanks.

  • Charlie?

  • We're still eating.

Lisa, wait.

Subtitles and vocabulary

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B1 US thanksgiving charlie thankful judith jake lisa

Merry Thanksgiving | Two and a Half Men

  • 52 2
    山田力 posted on 2025/02/04
Video vocabulary

Keywords

stuff

US /stʌf/

UK /stʌf/

  • noun
  • Generic description for things, materials, objects
  • verb
  • To push material inside something, with force
eventually

US /ɪˈvɛntʃuəli/

UK /ɪˈventʃuəli/

  • adverb
  • After a long time; after many attempts; in the end
  • After a series of events or difficulties.
  • At some later time; in the future
  • In the end, especially after a long delay or difficulty
obvious

US /ˈɑbviəs/

UK /ˈɒbviəs/

  • adjective
  • Easily understood and clear; plain to see
  • Easily perceived or understood; clear, self-evident, or apparent.
  • Very easy to notice; blatant.
  • Easily perceived or understood; clear, self-evident, or apparent.
  • Easy to see or notice.
  • Predictable or lacking in subtlety.
  • Unmistakable; easily recognized.
  • Easily noticed; not subtle.
significant

US /sɪɡˈnɪfɪkənt/

UK /sɪgˈnɪfɪkənt/

  • adjective
  • Large enough to be noticed or have an effect
  • Having meaning; important; noticeable
  • (Statistics) being clearly different
insane

US /ɪnˈsen/

UK /ɪnˈseɪn/

  • adjective
  • Extremely foolish or unreasonable.
  • In a state of mental illness; mad.
  • Mentally ill; crazy
  • Being crazy or stupid
desperate

US /ˈdɛspərɪt/

UK /ˈdespərət/

  • adjective
  • Tried in despair; unlikely to succeed.
  • (of a situation) extremely bad or serious.
  • Feeling, showing, or involving a hopeless sense that a situation is so bad as to be impossible to deal with.
  • Being beyond hope; prepared to do anything
  • Driven to or showing behavior that is reckless or dangerous because of a feeling of hopelessness.
  • Driven to or showing reckless behavior because of a feeling of hopelessness.
  • (of an act or attempt) tried in despair or when everything else has failed; having little hope of success.
  • (of an act or attempt) tried in despair or when everything else has failed; having little hope of success.
  • (of a situation) extremely bad or serious.
  • State of urgently wanting to go to the toilet
  • Feeling or showing a hopeless sense that a situation is so bad as to be impossible to deal with.
silly

US /ˈsɪli/

UK /'sɪlɪ/

  • adjective
  • Careless
  • Acting funny or playfully
  • Not being serious or important
relationship

US /rɪˈleʃənˌʃɪp/

UK /rɪˈleɪʃnʃɪp/

  • noun
  • Connection between two or more people or things
  • The way in which two or more people or groups regard and behave towards each other.
  • Way people interact or live with each other
  • Romantic or loving friendship between two people
  • The way in which two or more organizations or businesses are connected.
  • A connection, association, or involvement.
  • The way in which two or more people are connected as family members.
  • The way in which two or more things are connected in mathematics or logic.
  • A romantic or sexual connection between two people.
  • The state of being related or connected.
capable

US /ˈkepəbəl/

UK /'keɪpəbl/

  • adjective
  • Having the ability, fitness, or quality necessary to do or achieve a specified thing.
  • Having the qualities needed to do something well; competent.
  • Being able to do something very well; proficient
  • Having the legal power to perform an action.
  • Having the potential to do or achieve something.
suppose

US /səˈpoʊz/

UK /sə'pəʊz/

  • conjunction
  • What if
  • verb
  • To imagine or guess what might happen