Name: You Should Probably Change Your Password! | Michael McIntyre Netflix Special
Uploaded: 2025-01-19T23:14:34.000Z
Duration: 7 min 27 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

The imperative

Now that the internet is so much a part of our lives, think back.

Because our minds, our brains are so filled with passwords.

It's such a struggle for us to remember all the passwords.

We go to businesses online and you go, I can't remember, I can't remember my password.

And you put it, sometimes they lock you out.

And they go, no, you've got one more try to remember your own password, you fucking idiot.

And they ask you questions about your life and you don't even remember the answers.

And at the beginning, we all had one password.

It was our first password we can nostalgically remember.

Every time we joined another business, can I have your password?

And then companies started getting quite rude.

You would put your password in and it would go, weak.

And they're like, I'm sorry, but the internet has become very popular.

And businesses would insist, we must have from you a capital letter.

I'm sorry, we will not be accepting passwords anymore unless it contains at least one capital letter.

And we all momentarily considered our options before deciding to capitalise the first letter of our password.

For a period of time, that was fine, but the internet became even more popular.

And then businesses started saying, I'm afraid you cannot join unless you have at least one capital letter and at least one number.

Again, less than half a microsecond's consideration before we collectively decided, you shall be getting the number one.

And that would be the end of our capitalised password.

And for a period of time, this was acceptable until a whole new, unexpected and exciting dawn emerged.

And businesses would say, we need a capital letter.

We need a number, but we will also require a special character.

And we clicked on the button, please can I have some examples of these special characters which you now insist upon?

I had no idea these characters were so special until all of our eyes stopped upon the exclamation mark.

Which we then put at the end of our now capitalised password, just after the one.

And it's at this moment that everybody at the London Palladium is thinking, I should probably change my password.

I probably won't do that tomorrow, I'll do that now.

When we run the hot tab, when we run the cold, we don't have time to wait for the full proper temperature to reveal itself.

You go away into your busy life and you come back and you normally know as soon as your foot goes in.

As soon as it goes in, you normally go, ooh, I've run that a bit too hot.

But often you don't realise it until you're in already.

You get in and you start lowering yourself because it takes a while for the information that your feet are burning to reach your brain, where the information has to go to tell you about it.

Because it's really quite a long way for the information to travel.

So you start lowering yourself and you're thinking, something doesn't feel altogether right here.

And in a split-second decision, do I stay or do I go?

And you end up standing naked in your bathroom.

You look down, you've got this sort of red, skinny socks of pain.

Then you have to empty the hot out, put cold in, which involves sacrificing your arm to plunge to the pluck.

You look at your arm as if to say, this will hurt, I do apologise.

But the braver amongst us, there's many here tonight and I count myself amongst you, will hover paddle.

This is where you get into the bath, even though it hurts, and you hover over the surface.

You get the cold on and you start paddling like a maniac.

And you inherently know it's time to change direction now, come on!

It's getting better, it's getting better, come on.

You select your bottom and the task of your bottom is simply to dip in to see, is it ready?

This is where I forget, unfortunately, that I have balls.

It's not so much that I forget, it's more the angle of dangle.

Means that my balls are now the closest thing to the surface of the water, not my bottom after all.

Subtitles ListPlay Video

You Should Probably Change Your Password! | Michael McIntyre Netflix Special

nasty

reveal

period

character