Name: How to avoid getting drawn into a cult | BBC Ideas
Uploaded: 2024-11-16T21:01:30.000Z
Duration: 5 min 52 s
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When you think of a cult, you probably imagine this, but that could never be you, right?

People think that a cult is a group with strange beliefs where everybody all dresses the same and they all live in a commune together.

But in fact, cult-like groups take many forms.

Whoever you are, there's probably one attractive to someone like you.

When I use the term cult, I'm using it to describe a psychological system of control and it can manifest itself anywhere.

I know what I went through and it was pretty horrific.

Cults have been around for millennia, but they really hit the headlines in the 1960s and 70s as people began to experiment with alternative lifestyles and new religious ideas.

Some of these experiments turned dark, most notoriously with over 900 people drinking cyanide in Jonestown in 1978.

There are hundreds and hundreds of cults in the UK.

A common misconception is that a cult needs to be religious or spiritual in nature, but in reality, they can pop up anywhere.

They join a group that they think is going to help them understand themselves better or a group that they think is going to help them make a difference in the world.

Usually the initial experiences are quite positive and that's part of the reason why people don't really see what they're getting involved in.

It was very different from the church I knew growing up.

They told me how amazing I was, how treasured I was, and because of that I ignored the warning signs that something was wrong.

Over time I got more and more involved and they slowly stepped up the control.

I got to the place where I just did not know if what I was seeing and what I was hearing was even real or not anymore.

It's taken a lot of work to pin my mind back onto reality again.

When do we call something a cult and when do we not?

For me, it's much more helpful to talk about the system of control than it is to talk about cult in terms of, oh, it's a quirky group.

It's when the practices become harmful to the mental, physical or financial wellbeing of members that problems begin.

What's happening in a cult is coercive control.

We usually use the term coercive control for a relationship.

A cult is a leader using coercive control in a group.

Hallmarks of coercive control include isolating you from friends and family, monitoring your activity and controlling your choices.

In cult-like groups, when someone questions anything, they're often met with thought-terminating cliches designed to shut down conversations.

Other warning signs might be labelling outsiders as others, ignoring concerns and vilifying whistleblowers.

There's lots of conditioning in order to make the person controllable.

One common feature that you'll get in coercive control in relationships is love bombing.

Over-the-top flattery can be a really powerful tool to buy people's loyalty.

Another tactic is gaslighting, a technique used to get people to question their own reality.

Often, members will have invested huge amounts of time and money, making it both practically and psychologically very hard to leave.

And lots of coercive control is about convincing you you're the problem.

You're not good enough, you need to try harder, you're not praying enough, you're not giving enough time.

And so people don't leave because they think they're the problem.

The shame of admitting that you were taken in is also tough to face, but it shouldn't be.

The idea that you have to be gullible or weak to join one of these groups is a myth.

If you go for a bereavement, if you change jobs, if you move town, the foundations of your life get shaken a bit.

That transition period is a moment of vulnerability.

So the cults are trying to exploit you while you're in that transition period and say, we've got all the answers, we can help you reach your potential.

There probably is a cult for everyone, because what we're talking about here, it's a psychological system of control.

As a therapist, I've seen music classes become cult groups, yoga groups, activism.

Pretty much any group can become a cult if there is that person who is running it, who is controlling and manipulating.

So it's not for me so much about labelling a group as a cult, it's more about, is the system there?

If you're worried that someone you know is involved with a group that is manipulating them, it's important to avoid shaming them by labelling them as brainwashed.

The best thing to do is to keep in touch, to listen, but also to encourage critical thinking and point out potentially harmful behaviours.

Are they feeling pressured to make major life changes?

Are they being encouraged to cut off from friends, family, their hobbies or their job?

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How to avoid getting drawn into a cult | BBC Ideas

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