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Man, I must confess a sentiment of the most tender nature.
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Welcome, everyone. We will now demonstrate the safety features of this aircraft, and your attention is essential, as this may be different from any aircraft that you've flown on before.
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Do I smell the winds of war? I see smoke on the horizon.
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Ahem. Smoking, including e-cigarettes, vaping, and the use of other smoking devices, is not permitted at any time whilst on board, including the toilets, which have smoke detectors in them.
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Gerald, it's you. For too long I've kept my true feelings hidden, but now...
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Personal devices should have the flight safe mode feature enabled now.
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Handheld devices must be housed securely or placed into a pocket.
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What witchcraft is this? The painting! It moves!
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Larger devices, including laptops, must be switched off and placed in your luggage for take-off and landing.
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Please unplug your devices from the sockets.
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They must also be switched off and unplugged when not being used during the flight.
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If you do lose your device within your seat, please don't move the seat yourself.
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Ask a member of crew for some help.
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Ah, dearest. At your age, one can't be too choosy.
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Hand baggage must be placed under the seat in front of you, or carefully above, in an overhead locker, so it doesn't block any aisles or exits.
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To Boston!
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Just one moment. Please check your seatbelt is fastened securely and worn whenever the seatbelt signs are on.
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It is fastened like this, adjusted like this and opened like this.
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If you're sitting in one of our first or Club World seats with a shoulder strap, you must ensure this is also attached for take-off and landing.
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It is adjusted like this and opened like this.
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For your comfort and safety in case of turbulence, we recommend you keep your seatbelts fastened and visible at all times.
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Tighter!
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If the air supply fails, oxygen will be provided and masks will appear automatically.
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If you are wearing a face mask, please remove it before putting on the oxygen mask.
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Stay in your seat, pull the oxygen mask towards you and place it over your mouth and nose and breathe normally, adjusting the band to secure it.
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Please note the bag may not inflate.
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You may need to pull on a coloured streamer to release your mask.
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Ensure your own mask is fitted before helping anyone else.
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Your life jacket is underneath or beside your seat.
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If required, remove the jacket from its container and pull it over your head.
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Pass the tapes around your waist and tie securely in a double bow at the side.
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To inflate, pull the red toggle as shown and the air can be topped up by using this mouthpiece.
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There is a whistle and a light for attracting attention.
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Please do not inflate your life jacket until you are outside of the aircraft.
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Pray, which they'll do it again!
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Should we need to evacuate, move quickly to the nearest usable exit.
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Taking nothing with you is carrying baggage may block aisles and exits and delay your evacuation.
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Low-level lighting will guide you to an exit.
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All exits are clearly marked and have been pointed out to you now.
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Eyes on your cabin crew!
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Please locate your nearest exit. Remember, it may be behind you.
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Opening the doors automatically inflates the evacuation slide.
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High-heeled shoes must be removed as they may tear the slide.
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This red handle is for emergency use only and its instructions are found inside your suite.
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Doors must be secured open for taxi take-off and landing.
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All this important information can be found on your safety card.
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This includes the brace position and this is the brace position!
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Oh George!
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If your seat is fitted with a shoulder strap, you must adopt this position.
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Please now check your seat is in the take-off position with the armrest down.
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Your table is folded away, personal devices unplugged and window blinds are open or set to clear.
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If you have a footstool or a video screen, please stow these now.
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A letter, Lady Bentley.
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What is this?
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I believe it's a safety card, ma'am.
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Please have a good look at your safety card before we depart.
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And if you have any questions, just ask your cabin crew.
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And as always, wherever you go.
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Whomever you see.
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Stay safe.
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Look after one another.
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And never change.
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Is it a winged creature of the air?
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Or perchance a semestral contrivance navigating the skies?
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No ma'am, that's a British Airways A350.
