Placeholder Image

Subtitles section Play video

  • He's gonna take you back to the past

  • To play the shitty games that suck ass

  • He'd rather have a buffalo

  • Take a diarrhea dump in his ear

  • He'd rather eat the rotten asshole

  • Of a roadkill skunk and down it with beer

  • He's the angriest gamer you've ever heard

  • He's the Angry Nintendo Nerd

  • He's the Angry Atari Sega Nerd

  • He's the Angry Video Game Nerd

  • Pong. A simple word. A simple idea. It's just Pong.

  • It was one of the first video arcades from 1972.

  • A simple screen mounted inside what looked like a carved treestump.

  • You could call this the wooden age of video games, when everything was made of wood,

  • and two people playing tennis looked like two glowsticks batting a square ball back and forth.

  • Yeah, this was before circles were invented.

  • In spite of its simplicity, it's a fun and addicting game, even to this day.

  • I thought it was fun. Apparently, people thought so too, back then.

  • That's why they made a home Pong console, so you could play it at home.

  • And then, there was another one!

  • And another one!

  • And another one!

  • And another one!

  • And another one!

  • And another one!

  • There was like, nine million fucking Pong consoles!

  • A Pong console can refer to any game system made in the '70s that didn't utilize cartridges.

  • Instead, they had one built-in game, which was Pong.

  • Sometimes, they included different variations, certain kinds of updates,

  • but it's mind-blowing to think that such a simple game could have inspired so many pieces of hardware to play it.

  • So, just for shits and giggles, we're gonna take a look at all the Pong consoles which I happen to own.

  • This right here is the Tournament 1000 by Unisonic.

  • Unfortunately, this one doesn't work, but with game consoles this old, that's something you have to expect.

  • From what we can assume, you can select between four different kinds of Pong.

  • And over here, it looks like the game didn't even have the technology of keeping score,

  • so you have to do it manually, which is pretty shitty.

  • Even the most basic Pong games kept score.

  • The controllers slide out right here.

  • Now that's what you call "a basic controller".

  • Next, the APF TV Fun. That's a great name, isn't it?

  • The console's got that wooden paneling, and it's shaped like some kind of spaceship.

  • The controllers are like cylinders. You move the paddle by turning this thing right here.

  • This game is your basic Pong.

  • This little switch here changes the type of Pong.

  • One thing that's typical about Pong consoles is that the sound effects never come through the TV.

  • They come from a built-in speaker on the console itself.

  • I guess you can say it's similar to the Wiimote, how certain sound effects come out of it.

  • Next, the Wonder Wizard. Looks like a slab of wood with game dials thrown on it.

  • It was literally built from a Magnavox Odyssey, using the same circuit board and part of the plastic casing.

  • Also, it uses the same video connector.

  • It's the most bizarre thing I've ever seen, and as far to my knowledge, it only exists on the Odyssey and the Wonder Wizard.

  • This might be a good time to bring up that most of these old consoles have a connector that looks like this.

  • You have to plug them into a box and then screw the box into your TV.

  • But I say get yourself one of these,

  • plug it into the coaxial input on your TV,

  • plug the game in,

  • and tell that box to go fuck itself!

  • However, the Odyssey and Wonder Wizard, with this fucking weird shit,

  • you have no choice but to use a box.

  • And even worse, it has to be a special box that takes this crap.

  • And after all that, you're lucky if the picture comes in clear!

  • Channel 3, channel 4, what the fuck?

  • The left paddle won't stop flickering, and the right paddle doesn't even exist!

  • Where is it? Where is it?

  • And speaking of weird hookups, the worst of all is the RCA Studio II.

  • Technically, it's not a Pong console because it uses cartridges, but when the hell am I ever gonna talk about this thing?

  • Typically, any game system will use two wires, one for the AC adapter, and one to plug into the TV.

  • But then there's shitty consoles like this that think they're being cutting-edge by combining both the wires into one.

  • In other words, both the video connector and AC adapter plug into the same box, which then plugs into the TV.

  • Again, forcing you to use a box, and to unscrew it every time you want to play a different game system.

  • So, technically speaking, the video signal is traveling up this wire,

  • and then the electricity coming from the wall socket is coming back through the same wire.

  • I don't even understand how that works!

  • The only other system I know that does that is the Atari 5200.

  • We all know how much ass that thing sucks!

  • One last thing to say about the RCA Studio II, it doesn't even have any external controllers.

  • Two players would have to huddle around and use the keypads.

  • Man, if there was an RCA Studio I, I'd hate to see it.

  • Next, the RadioShack TV Scoreboard. Looks like a remote for a TV, with a Siamese twin.

  • Pull this off, you give it to your friend, say "Fuck you, this is all you get."

  • "Look at me, I got all this shit. I'm in control, motherfucker!"

  • Ugh, why does the ball keep going through the paddle?

  • Serve, reset, reset, serve...I'm playing Ghost Pong!

  • Oh, there's color? All of a sudden, the color comes on?

  • The Sears Super Pong Telegames. Simple enough.

  • Two little knobs for controllers. Works alright. Basic Pong.

  • You got four different kinds of Pong.

  • Like, what the hell is this? Reverse Pong?

  • Okay, now what's this? Asshole Pong?

  • That's not fair!

  • Colorsport VIII. Now this is badass-looking.

  • The controllers pop out the sides, like that.

  • Two more controllers plug in, so I guess you could have four players.

  • Got all these switches here, four different games,

  • Handball, hockey, tennis, skeet.

  • Okay, what's going on? All they do is change color?

  • Hockey's red, tennis is blue, is that it?

  • I don't even know if this thing's working right.

  • Ricochet. Well, this is excessive.

  • Instead of two controllers, let's have two consoles.

  • Aside from the clunky design, the game works okay.

  • Except the right controller's a little jittery.

  • That's what happens. The thing about these Pong consoles,

  • and one of the things that makes them so fun to play,

  • is that the paddles move so fluently.

  • It's like an analog control that doesn't exist in games today.

  • The downside is that they break easily, and sometimes you get this jittery movement.

  • This yellow bastard here is called the TV4 Four-Way Video Game. Rolls right off your tongue.

  • Well, you already know how I feel about these accursed boxes.

  • How do you think I feel that this one is permanently attached to the fucking game console?

  • These things come from Hell. These forks at the end might as well be the Devil's pitchfork.

  • One of them's chewed off, so I have no way of connecting it to the TV.

  • And I have no way of replacing the box!

  • You think that makes me happy? (laughs slightly)

  • It doesn't!

  • [crash]

  • Another one I can't play is the Color TV Game 6.

  • It was made by Nintendo in 1977. Pretty cool.

  • It was only released in Japan, which is why it won't work on my American TVs.

  • I've heard something about turning the channel to 95, but none of my TVs go any higher than 82.

  • Apparently, it has six games, and two players would have to grapple for the controls.

  • Nintendo had an updated version with 15 games and detachable controllers.

  • Here's the Volley VI, fresh in the box.

  • Ah, that stained white color, tasteless wood grain. It reeks with age.

  • The controllers dismount, and you got a nice tray to hold your beer.

  • Fuck, almost.

  • The games are pretty typical, it's your average Pong, with one exception -

  • it's got some gun games!

  • I don't have the gun that goes with it, but as you can see on the box, it was some serious shit.

  • This is an example of a Pong console that uses batteries. That's another thing I need to mention,

  • it's always C batteries, but you have the option of using an AC adapter.

  • Now, tell me, what would you rather do?

  • Run to the store to get some C batteries to play your Volley VI, or just plug it in the wall?

  • The only problem is that a lot of these Pong consoles did not include the AC adapter.

  • Now, I don't know if that's because people lose them, or they break,

  • but judging from the box, and just the fact that batteries are an option,

  • I imagine a lot of times they didn't include it.

  • Now, what are you gonna do with batteries? Play it at the fucking beach?

  • Did Pong consoles have some kind of deal with the battery companies to sell more fucking batteries?

  • Alright, this is the Magnavox Odyssey 4000.

  • In between the Odyssey and Odyssey², which were cartridge-based,

  • Magnavox made a whole bunch of Pong consoles, naming them after the thousand digits.

  • The biggest innovation here is that you can move in any direction, rather than just straight up and down.

  • The Fairchild Channel F was another innovation.

  • It's a cartridge-based console, but it includes a great Pong game.

  • The controllers were the most complicated yet, and it takes some time getting used to, but when you do, it's awesome.

  • Rocking the stick moves the paddle in any four directions.

  • Twisting and turning changes the angle the paddle's facing.

  • Pushing and pulling moves the goalie up and down.

  • If you play it with a friend, it makes for a busy and intense game of Pong.

  • This is the Coleco Telstar. Once again, the controllers are built on the console.

  • There's three settings, tennis, hockey, and handball.

  • It's another basic Pong console.

  • At last, we have the Coleco Telstar Arcade.

  • Look at this mess. A steering wheel, a gun?

  • What madman came up with this?

  • Believe it or not, it actually uses cartridges.

  • Have you ever seen a cartridge like this? A silver triangle that snaps onto the top of the console?

  • On one side, you have a regular Pong game.

  • On the other, you have a racing game.

  • The lever controls your speed, and the wheel steers your car vertically on the screen.

  • It's kinda cool.

  • The gun game is like trying to shoot falling stars.

  • It's impossible, but the gun's probably broken, so who knows?

  • Well, that's Pong for ya. All these different consoles goes to show how such a simple game

  • could become such a hot-selling franchise.

  • I could see people thinking 30 years ago,

  • "Wow. Pong. This is where it's at. It ain't gonna get any better than this."

  • "Now what's this here, this Xbox 360? Some modern game system?"

  • "I don't know, maybe it has advanced graphics. Might even be in color. Let's check it out."

  • [rock music]

He's gonna take you back to the past

Subtitles and vocabulary

Operation of videos Adjust the video here to display the subtitles

B2 pong paddle tv plug odyssey adapter

Pong Consoles - Angry Video Game Nerd - Episode 89

  • 38 1
    eaglekuo posted on 2014/10/21
Video vocabulary