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  • CARLY We met last night at the club You told me you were in love

  • Came home and smushed in the tub And now you're in my yard

  • Woke up and saw you were gone Your running across my lawn

  • without your pants or shoes on Here comes my St. Bernard

  • Vodka was flowin' Butt cleavage was showin'

  • Your mind I was blowin' Man we were so freaking wasted

  • Tag, you're my boyfriend. My name is Carly But all my doctors, just call me "crazy"

  • I made you poptarts with extra gravy But I'm a call girl, you have to pay me!

  • Psych, I'm just kidding. Aren't I crazy Let's watch 12 hours of Chelsea Lately

  • And all the other boys try to taaaaaze me The doors are locked now. You can't escape me

  • C'mon lets do sex again I want to be more than friends

  • Look how far my legs can bend

  • DOUG I'm sorry I can't stay Look I don't mean to be rude

  • But, I don't think that we screwed

  • CARLY I've got the pictures to prove it Hey don't look away

  • You're my one and only That's what my dog told me

  • But, don't think you own me Now lets sacrifice some chickens

  • I've got some hand cuffs Feel free to spank me

  • But here's the safe word It's "call me maybe"

  • CARLY Hey, this is my band, they seem to haaaate me

  • DOUG They don't look like they're really playing

  • CARLY Crap that's my husband he's in the navy He's gonna to kill you. He's also crazy

  • HUSBAND I'm gonna kill you cus that's my "laaaady" What's going on here?

  • CARLY He tried to rape me

  • HUSBAND When people try to rape "my wife" it makes me so mad. It makes me feel bad I'm gonna kick your ass

  • Come to think of it my wife is just guy in drag I need a real man So call me maybe

CARLY We met last night at the club You told me you were in love

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