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  • - OUR FIRST GUEST IS ONE OF THE HILARIOUS STARS

  • OF "MODERN FAMILY,"

  • BUT AFTER WHAT I'VE DONE TO HIM IN THE PAST,

  • I'M SURPRISED HE'S EVEN BACK.

  • TAKE A LOOK.

  • START TALKING AS SOFIA. YOU JUST...

  • [as Sofia Vergara] "WATCH 'MODERN FAMILY...'"

  • [normal voice] OR WHATEVER YOU WANT, OKAY?

  • READY? - OKAY, GO.

  • - [as Vergara] YES, WATCH "MODERN FAMILY"--

  • - [growls] - OH, MY GOD!

  • - [singing] BABY, EVEN THOUGH I HATE YOU

  • - [chuckles nervously]

  • - [growls] - [screams]

  • - BECAUSE MY DOG IS SCARED OF GOING UP AND DOWN THE STAIRS.

  • THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT IT WAS. I THOUGHT HE WAS SCARED.

  • - SO YOU HAVE TO CARRY--

  • - [yells] - OH, YOU MOTHER--

  • [cheers and applause]

  • I'M DONE!

  • - FROM "MODERN FAMILY," PLEASE WELCOME ERIC STONESTREET.

  • [cheers and applause]

  • - [singing] I SHOULD BE WISER

  • AND REALIZE THAT I GOT

  • - [singing] ONE LESS PROBLEM WITHOUT YOU

  • I GOT ONE LESS PROBLEM WITHOUT YOU

  • I GOT ONE LESS PROBLEM WITHOUT YOU

  • - I GOT ONE LESS, ONE LESS PROBLEM

  • - ONE LESS PROBLEM WITHOUT YOU

  • I GOT ONE LESS PROBLEM WITHOUT YOU

  • I GOT ONE LESS PROBLEM WITHOUT YOU

  • - I GOT ONE LESS, ONE LESS PROBLEM

  • - HI. HI, I'M ELLEN.

  • HI. HI.

  • HI.

  • WHAT'S HAPPENING?

  • - THESE ARE MY TWO BEST FRIENDS,

  • PAUL AND STACEY, HERE TO HAVE MY BACK TODAY, ELLEN.

  • [laughter]

  • - HI, PAUL AND STACEY.

  • - YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS.

  • YOU PROVED, THE LAST COUPLE TIMES,

  • YOU AND YOUR PRODUCTION STAFF DON'T GIVE TWO CENTS ABOUT ME.

  • OR MY UNDERWEAR, BECAUSE I ABOUT CRAPPED THEM

  • THE LAST TIME I WAS HERE.

  • SO I'M RELYING ON FRIENDSHIP TODAY.

  • SO PAUL AND STACEY ARE HERE.

  • THEY TOOK OFF A DAY'S WORK.

  • THEY'RE GONNA GO BACKSTAGE,

  • CREATE A PERIMETER.

  • IF YOU SEE ANYTHING--

  • A GUY IN A DOG COSTUME, A CLOWN COSTUME,

  • A TRANSPARENT 1930s GIRL WITH A RAG DOLL

  • FLOATING IN THE AIR--

  • DON'T HESITATE TO INTERRUPT THE INTERVIEW, OKAY?

  • - WELL, LOOK, THEY CAN-- THEY CAN'T--

  • THEY CAN STAY BACK THERE, 'CAUSE NOBODY'S COMING OUT.

  • I PROMISE. NO ONE'S COMING OUT.

  • SO YOU CAN--

  • - GO BACKSTAGE. CREATE A PERIMETER.

  • WE NEED A CODE WORD. WE NEED A CODE WORD.

  • IF YOU SEE ANYTHING, SAY,

  • "ERIC, SOMEBODY'S ABOUT TO SCARE YOU."

  • - THAT'S A GOOD CODE. THAT'S A REALLY GOOD CODE.

  • - THANK YOU, ELLEN. - YEAH.

  • - THOSE Q AND As ARE FUN, ELLEN, BUT WHAT--

  • SOMETIMES EMBARRASSING THINGS HAPPEN IN THOSE THINGS.

  • I WAS IN UTAH DOING ONE AT A COLLEGE,

  • AND THESE TWO GIRLS GOT UP IN THE MIDDLE OF MY Q AND A

  • AND LEFT.

  • AND I HAVE A MIC--

  • [screaming] OH, YOU--

  • [cheers and applause]

  • - [laughing]

  • - I'M NEVER COMING BACK.

  • I MEAN, YOU'VE JUST LOST ONE OF YOUR--

  • NO, ONE OF YOUR FAVORITE GUESTS, YOU JUST LOST HIM.

  • - NO, NO, NO, NO.

  • LOOK AT YOUR FRIENDS BACKSTAGE.

  • YOUR FRIENDS ARE TAKING PICTURES.

  • - GOOD JOB. WAY TO GO, GUYS.

  • - OKAY, WAIT.

  • SO, WAIT, I WANT TO HEAR THE STORY,

  • 'CAUSE I WANT TO HEAR THE EMBARRASSING,

  • BUT WE'RE GONNA TAKE A BREAK, AND YOU'LL--

  • - I'M ALMOST CRYING!

  • [laughter]

- OUR FIRST GUEST IS ONE OF THE HILARIOUS STARS

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