Name: How to Talk to Anyone | strangers, acquaintances & friends
Uploaded: 2024-06-03T11:30:01.000Z
Duration: 18 min 40 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

Does your mind go blank in the middle of a conversation?

Adverbs of manner

Does your social anxiety roll unexpectedly, like clouds on a sunny day?

Does the thought of going to a party cause you to quickly spiral?

If you said yes to any of these questions, you've clicked on the right video.

Because today, I'm gonna share with you how I tame my social anxiety, and how I can dive into a conversation, whether it's big or small.

Folks, I have a feeling that this is gonna be a pretty lengthy video, because today, I'm gonna be breaking down the art of conversation, according to my head.

It's evident that many of us are struggling with talking to people.

Just from the sheer amount of views that my previous video got on talking to people, a lot of us are struggling with this.

So today, I'm gonna be sharing with you guys some things that have helped my mindset, so that I'm more comfortable talking to anyone that I meet.

So before we get into all the tips and tricks, we have to establish a good foundation first.

I gotta talk about the golden mindset I have before I enter any conversation, or any social activity that I do.

To quote Eckhart Tolle, you are neither inferior nor superior to anyone.

So in other words, no one is above you, no one is below you.

Every person that you meet is on an equal playing field.

And I know it's like something that we subconsciously do, where we like size ourselves up with the people that we meet.

But if we don't keep this in check, we're gonna either end up with an inferiority complex, or a superiority complex.

An inferiority complex is essentially when you feel like someone is better than you.

And inferiority comes in all different types of flavors.

It could be someone who's more successful than you, someone's older than you, someone who's more beautiful, more followers, more intelligent.

When you feel less than, and when you're feeling insecure, and you're feeling intimidated, you are not allowing your true self to shine.

You're not giving yourself a fair chance to have people get to know who you truly are.

And a superiority complex is when you feel like you are better than, or more elevated than someone.

It's an assumption that just because you're further along a certain path in your life, or more knowledgeable about a certain topic, you feel like you can just dominate someone.

You can come off smug, arrogant, condescending.

And again, you're not giving people a fair shot to get to know who you are, because you have this inflated sense of self.

And there's an argument to be made that those with a superiority complex are just struggling with their inferiority complex.

So bottom line, recognize that no one is higher than you, no one is below you.

And when you channel this energy, you give off grounded, calm, like I know myself energy.

And ultimately, that's the kind of vibes that I'm looking for, and that's the kind of vibes that people are drawn to.

And one huge way that I'm able to be more attuned with myself is through therapy.

This is also what I wanna take a quick minute to thank BetterHelp for sponsoring this video.

Therapy is the biggest contributor to the development of my self growth, my confidence.

I only see a net positive on going to therapy, whether you're going through like an objectively difficult time, or if you just want to take a beat to reflect on what's happening with your life.

So BetterHelp connects you to a licensed professional therapist that's not only trained to listen, but to give unbiased advice.

You can get started by going on my link, betterhelp.com slash Jen.

There are over four million people who have spent and devoted time to getting to know themselves so much better.

And I know getting started with anything can feel daunting, especially with therapy.

You might be worrying about finding a therapist who's the right fit, or you're like intimidated with face to face interaction, but through BetterHelp, they can help find a good match for you.

They have over 30,000 therapists that range from a broad expertise that might not be available in your area.

You just fill out a questionnaire that assesses your needs, and then you're matched with your therapist in 48 hours or less.

I just love the accessibility of this because you get to schedule a time that works for you, and then you decide whether you want a video call, a phone call, or even text messaging.

Like it really caters to your comfort level.

And of course, if you're not vibing with your therapist,

BetterHelp allows you to switch to a new one at no additional cost.

There's no need to worry about like insurance or whether someone's in your network or anything like that.

It's just like funny how no one bats an eye when we spend like hours of our time devoted to our physical health, when it's just as important to carve out time focusing on our mental health.

So if you're interested in trying therapy out for yourself, click the link in the description box or just go to betterhelp.com slash Jen.

That's better, H-E-L-P.com slash Jen for 10% off your first month.

Clicking that link will help support this channel and allows you to explore your inner mind with the help of a licensed therapist.

So this is kind of like a subconscious checklist that I have in my mind before I enter a conversation.

First, I reflect on the things that are going on with my life, because chances are when you talk to someone, you're gonna receive the questions like, how are you?

And in the past, I would find myself like mildly irritated with these questions because I was like, I hate small talk.

And sometimes my mind would just go blank.

But then I realized that it was up to me to do some reflection beforehand.

So before you go out, ask yourself these questions.

This is where my journal and my calendar come in so clutch because it's like a running inventory of the things I did, the ideas that I had, the things that I learned.

And so I select maybe three or four items on that list and I just keep them stored in my mind.

So that way I am not flustered when someone asks me just a very simple question.

And these highlights can look like anything.

It could be something that I learned in a podcast or a book.

It could be like, did I come back from a trip?

Was there something amusing that happened this week?

And so yeah, I just gather these things so that way I am prepared.

And if you struggle with this and you don't journal,

I highly recommend just trying out the activity of morning pages.

This is when you get a notebook, big or small, and you fill out three pages every day.

But ever since I started this practice during lockdown, it has really helped me retain the information and the events that are happening in my life.

And in these pages, I would write about anything.

It could be about my day, a conversation that I had, like a summary of an article that I read, like from news, health, science, tech, like anything.

I just put it all on that page and it just helps me create topics that I'm interested in.

And the thing is, the more subjects that you are curious about, the more range of topics that you can discuss with other people.

So if someone asks me, hey Jen, how are you?

I've been grounded, stable, just been in a good season in my life.

I think it's because I've been getting a large amount of sleep.

I really cleaned up my sleep hygiene routine.

I read that book, Why We Sleep by Matthew Walker, and it has just changed my life, boom.

Instantly, it gives the other person something to work with.

You have sleeping, which is an activity that all of us do.

You can ask about their sleeping routine, if they struggle, or if they also have read that book, or if they've read another book.

So the small talk is really just the foreplay of conversation, and from that, it splinters off to a bunch of different topics.

But honestly, sometimes I'll have three or four highlights in my head and never bring them up because the conversation is just flowing naturally.

This is just like a mechanism or a tool that I use to keep any anxious thoughts at bay because I know I'm prepared.