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  • Instead, now we have the problem with these Karens.

  • You know what a Karen is?

  • Someone who gets, they start to complain about a comedy show?

  • Oh yeah, it happens all the time.

  • You never know who's gonna complain at your show.

  • And so I just try to avoid the situation completely.

  • Now, I don't like the term Karen because it's a little racial.

  • It's an annoying white woman who complains.

  • That's not fair.

  • There's annoying women of every ethnicity.

  • Let's be honest.

  • Yes, we've all met one.

  • There's Latina Karens.

  • They don't have a name.

  • I call them Karenitas.

  • Asian Karens, Kyrens, let's talk about it.

  • There's black Karens, Kanainais.

  • There's some Kanainais out there.

  • Let's just be equal.

  • That's all I'm saying.

  • I got to do a really cool show during the pandemic though.

  • This one group hired me.

  • It's the Latter Day Saints Singles Conference in Orange County, California.

  • How many Latter Day Saints people are here?

  • LDS Mormons?

  • Yeah, Mormons?

  • Yeah.

  • And you're not supposed to say Mormon, so I say LDS.

  • And what's great about it is I love LDS people.

  • I went to LDS last year.

  • I love LDS people.

  • I went to high school with them.

  • They're such nice people.

  • More people need to know.

  • I mean, these are the kind of kids that would TP your house and then clean it up the next morning before you woke up.

  • Didn't even know what happened.

  • Yeah.

  • Very nice.

  • A lot of you are like, that doesn't happen.

  • Yes, it does.

  • You just didn't know what happened.

  • That's how good they were.

  • I like nice people.

  • You know what I don't like?

  • Fake victims.

  • This is getting too far.

  • Fake victims.

  • Everyone's a victim.

  • People are always trying to tell you how they're a victim.

  • Now you go to work.

  • They're going to tell you their pronouns.

  • I'm they, them.

  • I'm she, her.

  • There's going to be a guy named Earl going,

  • I'm plum, her.

  • I'm your plumber.

  • I don't know what we're talking about.

  • Okay?

  • I'm going to go plunge.

  • Right?

  • I saw one of the,

  • I saw Megan Rapinoe, who's a soccer player for the United States soccer team, go to the White House and say, this country isn't fair.

  • I don't like seeing that.

  • I love America.

  • She's like, this country's not fair for me.

  • I'm like, you're at the White House and you get paid to play soccer.

  • That's a privilege.

  • God bless America.

  • All right?

  • Yes.

  • What a great country.

  • I even did some research.

  • She gets $3 million a year to play soccer, you guys.

  • Not even real soccer, women's soccer.

  • There's going to be a Will Smith after the show.

  • Keep her name out your mouth.

  • That's a mean joke.

  • So I'm going to apologize.

  • If you can tell me, when's their next game?

  • Solutions.

  • All right?

  • We need solutions.

  • I have solutions for diversity.

  • We need diversity in every industry.

  • That's what we need.

  • Now, when I look at the NBA, that basketball court does not have a lot of diversity, but I came up with a solution.

  • We use technology to help everyone play in the NBA.

  • We need to raise or lower the backboard according to what ethnicity is running towards it during the game.

  • That's fair.

  • Like if LeBron's going, not 10 feet, 13.

  • Make it a little harder for him.

  • Some people from Utah, nine feet.

  • Asians.

  • Some of you are like,

  • Kevon, what about Latinos?

  • Make it fence high.

  • They can still get over it.

  • Some of you are like, what would Latinos say if they heard that?

  • They love that joke.

  • I just performed in Arizona.

  • This guy after the show goes, hey, you're stupid.

  • We would go under the court.

  • El Chapo style.

  • I was like, touche.

  • The reason I can do all these different jokes is because I'm a minority myself.

  • Now, I know you're looking at me.

  • You're going, Kevon, you just look regular white.

  • Ah, ah, ah.

  • Not so fast.

  • My dad is Persian.

  • My mom is Scottish.

  • That's rare.

  • I call it Harry Pottish.

  • That's right.

  • People are like, that's not a minority.

  • Yes, it is.

  • Half Persian?

  • Nobody's half Persian out there, man.

  • And what's crazy is people go, you don't seem Persian to me.

  • I'm like, that's because I use cologne responsibly.

  • Two sprays, not two bottles.

  • Come on.

  • Yeah.

  • You've been to the bathroom.

  • You've been to the bathroom.

  • You've been to the bathroom.

  • Yeah.

  • You've been in an Uber.

  • You know what I'm talking about.

  • All right.

  • Some people have the gall to think I'm making it up.

  • I'm like, I'm not making it up.

  • If you look closely, you can tell

  • I have my dad's beautiful, dark Persian eyes, but I have my mom's American features.

  • So unfortunately, I just look like a tired white guy.

  • Women don't even know I'm exotic.

  • They think I'm exhausted.

  • And I am exhausted.

  • I've been a victim, but nobody wants to hear my stories.

  • Okay.

  • One time I went to get a haircut at a new salon and they said they don't even do haircuts for men.

  • They sent me out of there.

  • I felt foolish.

  • I'm like, oh, I have to go somewhere else because the way I was born?

  • That's discrimination.

  • Now there's no Supreme Court case pending.

  • No lawyers like, I'll help you.

  • Nope.

  • I had to stick up for myself.

  • I go, would you have cut a woman's hair if she drove a Subaru?

  • They're like, yeah.

  • I'm like, well, that's the same haircut I was going for.

  • Beep, beep.

  • That's right.

  • I have been a victim.

  • Here's how big a victim I am.

  • This is unbelievable.

  • I went to get an allergy test.

  • They put this little thing on my back and they scratched me with all kinds of irritants.

  • And it turns out I'm allergic to cats and watermelon, which is crazy because Persians are known for cats and watermelon.

  • Yeah, see, you didn't even know that.

  • That's how big a minority I am.

  • Yeah.

  • For a Persian to be allergic to cats and watermelon, it's like being Mexican and allergic to tacos and landscaping.

  • Thank you.

  • I was hoping somebody would understand me.

  • You get me.

  • Thank you.

  • Are you Latina?

  • Hey, you see, she knows.

  • She's like, of course I am.

  • I'll meet you under the court.

  • We'll go get some tacos.

  • That's right.

  • But I appreciate you guys laughing, but I got to tell you, we need to laugh now more than ever.

  • And I try to make people laugh even when I'm out in the streets, not just on this stage.