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  • >>> YOU ARE NEXT IN THE QUEUE TO

  • SPEAK TO A SOUTHWEST AIRLINES

  • REPRESENTATIVE.

  • >> FINALLY.

  • >> PLEASE STATE YOUR NAME.

  • >> REGINALD KEAN.

  • >> THANK YOU.

  • CONNECTING YOU NOW.

  • >> HI.

  • THIS IS ZACHARY WITH SOUTHWEST.

  • AM I SPEAKING WITH VAGINALD

  • CREAM?

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • >> IT'S REGINALD KEAN.

  • >> OF COURSE, MR. CREAM.

  • AND LET ME BE THE FIRST TO

  • APOLOGIZE FOR LOSING YOUR

  • LUGGAGE.

  • >> OH, NO, NO, I HAVE MY

  • LUGGAGE.

  • I JUST NEED TO CHANGE MY FLIGHT.

  • I'M SUPPOSED TO FLY DENVER TO

  • NEW YORK TONIGHT BUT I NEED TO

  • MOVE IT TO TOMORROW.

  • >> OKAY.

  • SO UNFORTUNATELY TOMORROW WE ARE

  • VERY FULL.

  • BUT I CAN GET YOU ON STANDBY FOR

  • THE 8:15.

  • >> STANDBY MEANS I'M NOT

  • GUARANTEED TO GET ON THE FLIGHT,

  • THOUGH, RIGHT?

  • >> NO, YOU'LL BE ON THE FLIGHT.

  • YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO STAND BY THE

  • BATHROOM THE WHOLE TIME.

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • SHALL I BOOK THAT FOR YOU?

  • >> NO.

  • I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT.

  • I'LL JUST TRY ANOTHER AIRLINE

  • AND I'LL JUST CANCEL AND GET A

  • REFUND.

  • >> ALL RIGHTY.

  • NO.

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • >> DID YOU JUST SAY NO?

  • >> YES.

  • WE ARE TRAINED TO SAY NO AND SEE

  • IF PEOPLE JUST ACCEPT IT.

  • BUT I SEE THAT YOU WON'T.

  • SO I'LL TRANSFER YOU TO SOMEONE

  • WHO CAN ASSIST.

  • PLEASE HOLD.

  • >> SOUTHWEST DOESN'T ASSIGN

  • SEATS.

  • JUST ANOTHER WAY WE'RE MAKING

  • FLYING FEEL LIKE RIDING A CITY

  • BUS.

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • >> HELLO.

  • THIS IS MANDY WITH SOUTHWEST'S

  • LOST LUGGAGE DEPARTMENT.

  • CAN YOU DESCRIBE YOUR MISSING

  • BAG, SIR?

  • >> OH, NO, I DIDN'T LOSE MY BAG.

  • I'M JUST TRYING TO CANCEL MY

  • FLIGHT AND GET A REFUND.

  • >> OF COURSE.

  • LET ME TRANSFER YOU TO

  • CANCELLATIONS.

  • AND IN CASE WE GET DISCONNECTED

  • WRITE DOWN THIS REFERENCE

  • NUMBER --

  • >> [ SPEAKING RAPIDLY ].

  • >> DID YOU GET THAT?

  • >> NO.

  • >> GREAT.

  • PLEASE HOLD.

  • >> WANT MORE LEG ROOM AND

  • PREMIUM DRINK SERVICES?

  • FLY A DIFFERENT AIRLINE.

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • >> THIS IS DONNA.

  • AM I SPEAKING WITH VAGINALD?

  • >> MY NAME IS REGINALD.

  • LOOK, I JUST WANT A REFUND.

  • OKAY?

  • MAYBE YOU CAN HELP ME.

  • >> MAYBE I CAN HELP YOU?

  • WHY ONLY MAYBE?

  • BECAUSE I'M BLACK?

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • >> NO, NO.

  • >> LET ME FIND YOUR RACIST ASS A

  • WHITE PERSON TO TALK TO.

  • HOLD, PLEASE.

  • >> WE VALUE YOUR FEEDBACK.

  • TO PARTICIPATE IN A BRIEF

  • 200-QUESTION SURVEY AFTER THIS

  • CALL SAY I DO NOT WISH TO

  • PARTICIPATE.

  • >> I DO NOT WISH TO

  • PARTICIPATE -- WAIT, WAIT.

  • NO, NO.

  • >> THIS IS CHRISTIE WITH

  • SOUTHWEST.

  • I SEE ON YOUR FILE THAT YOU

  • PREFER TO DEAL WITH CUSTOMER

  • SERVICE REPS THAT ARE WHITE.

  • AND I GET IT, BROTHER, BECAUSE

  • WE OUGHT TO STICK TOGETHER.

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • >> NO, NO, NO, NO.

  • PUT ME ON WITH SOMEBODY ELSE.

  • >> HELLO, THIS IS D'ARTAGNAN.

  • I CAN GET YOU THAT REFUND, SIR.

  • THE QUESTION IS WHAT ARE YOU

  • GOING TO DO FOR ME?

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • >> NO, SOMEONE ELSE.

  • >> HI.

  • THIS IS KELLY.

  • HOW ARE YOU TODAY?

  • >> NOT GREAT.

  • HOW ARE YOU?

  • >> HONESTLY?

  • STILL PRETTY DRUNK.

  • >> ABSOLOOSELY.

  • >> YEAH, MAN, ME LOOKING FOR

  • YOUR LOST BAG.

  • BUT I TINK WE FOUND IT.

  • IN A BLUE SAMSONITE ROLLIE BAG,

  • YEAH?

  • >> I DIDN'T LOSE MY BAG.

  • >> I'M SORRY.

  • ME CAN'T HEAR YOU.

  • BUT ME GET YOUR BAG BACK TO YOU.

  • PLEASE HOLD.

  • >> HELLO.

  • THIS IS MASON.

  • >> MASON.

  • DUDE.

  • JUST LISTEN TO ME.

  • I JUST WANT TO CANCEL MY FLIGHT

  • BUT I KEEP GETTING BOUNCED

  • AROUND TO DIFFERENT PEOPLE.

  • >> I HATE THAT.

  • IT'S LIKE PUT ME ON WITH

  • SOMEBODY WHO CAN ACTUALLY DO

  • SOMETHING.

  • >> YES.

  • MY GOD, YES.

  • YOU GET IT.

  • >> TOTALLY.

  • ALL RIGHT.

  • LET ME TRY AND FIND SOMEONE LIKE

  • THAT FOR YOU.

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • >> YOU ARE BEING TRANSFERRED TO

  • A SOUTHWEST REFUND SPECIALIST.

  • >> THANK YOU!

  • >> IN TRAINING.

  • >> NO!

  • >> HEY.

  • >> HELLO?

  • >> YOU GET HIGH?

  • >> DARIUS, NO!

  • SORRY ABOUT THAT, SIR.

  • PLEASE HOLD.

  • >> DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN GET

  • WI-FI ON YOUR FLIGHT?

  • WE DIDN'T.

  • IF YOU KNOW HOW THAT WORKS,

  • CONTACT US.

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • >> HELLO, TERMINAL C HUDSON

  • NEWS.

  • ARE YOU INTERESTED IN PURCHASING

  • A WARM DASANI FOR $16.99?

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • >> NO.

  • WHY DID THEY TRANSFER ME TO

  • HUDSON NEWS?