They know about Santa Claus,

but they just kind of projected it

onto another old white man.

You know, the KFC guy, Colonel Sanders.

That's who people put a Santa hat on

every Christmas in Japan.

Hi, I'm Atsuko Okatsuka.

I'm a Japanese Taiwanese American comedian.

(upbeat music)

So I grew up in Japan and I was living there

with my mom and grandma

when, one day, my grandma was like,

we're going on a two months vacation to the United States

and then we got here

and we overstayed our visas by seven years.

And that is how you become undocumented immigrants.

So my first Christmas in the United States,

I had started hearing from all my friends at school,

oh no, Santa Claus is someone that actually comes to you.

Okay. I was like, what?

They were like, yeah, you know,

Santa Claus is coming to town.

He knows when you are sleeping.

I said, okay, let me lock my doors.

He sounds like a burglar.

They said, no, he will give you whatever you want

as long as you write it in a letter

specifying what you want

and then you had to also put out fresh baked cookies for him

and a glass of milk.

I said, fresh baked cookies?

I don't bake.

I'm 10 years old.

My aunt and uncle do not bake because we're immigrants

and we use our oven to store Tupperware in it,

but I did find a box of almond cookies laying around,

so I said, hope Santa understands.

These will be what he eats.

Hopefully he's into trying new things.

And I laid out a glass of soy milk because we're Asian

and we don't do lactose.

Now mind you, at this point in my life,

I'm going by Stacy

because nobody at my school could get my name right.

I've heard all kinds of versions.

Astoogi, Astooko, Oscar, Costco.

Finally, my teacher just said,

why don't you just go by Stacey?

And so I did.

At the same time, there was rumors going around at school

that Santa Claus was actually just being played

by the father figure in the household,

so I had started bracing myself

that it was gonna be my uncle playing Santa.

So I wrote the letter.

It said, dear Santa, for Christmas,

I would really love a white teddy bear holding a heart

that says I love you, Atsuko

because I needed someone to tell me

that they loved me in writing and then I go to sleep.

So here's my poor uncle and aunt childless

are now like, okay, we have a child's wishes to grant.

So Christmas morning comes.

My uncle and aunt gathered free decorations

from their church friends, like wreaths or tiny trees,

acorns, some kind of red and green plants, candy canes,

just decked out.

I was like, oh wow, we've made it.

This is what it feels like.

I'm an American now.

At the time, I was like,

we are freaks and that we had to desperately try to fit in

and I think that's why I was so stoked when my uncle

and aunt's living room looked like the American Christmas

that I had seen in TV and films.

So I look in the stocking and lo and behold,

there it is a white teddy bear with a heart

that says I love you Astusuko.

Astusuko.

That's not how you spell my name.

So I bring it over to my grandma

who's just getting up.

Ah, our first Christmas in America.

And I'm go grandma, grandma checked this out

and she goes, oh yeah, that's a beautiful gift.

I say no, I love you, Astusuko.

That's not my name.

And she was like, oh, it's fine.

You got a gift.

Isn't that so great?

Is this Uncle Paul's job?

He knows my name.

He's my legal guardian.

He writes my name down all the time.

And then I was like, if it's misspelled,

then it can't be my uncle,

then it's gotta be the real Santa.

Right?

Cause think about it.

Well, Santa is white.

Maybe he doesn't know how to spell a Japanese name.

Maybe he freaked out just like everyone else at my school

at the sight of my name, was like,

Astoogi, Oscar, Costco, I don't know.

Astusuko.

And then he had to go hit up a bunch of other homes

and he didn't eat the almond cookies.

Maybe it is the old white man Santa

that doesn't like Asian cookies

that didn't know how to spell my Asian name.

Maybe he's real.

So I was like, if this is the real Santa, then I'm special

and I'm part of Santa's world now.

Okay, Santa knows I exist.

It was like a Christmas miracle.

- [Santa] Ho, ho, ho.

- So years pass, I'm an adult now,

I'm at another family Christmas function

and my uncle fessed up and said, yes, I've been Santa Claus,

and, yes, I did misspell your name.

Truth is I'm not good at cursive.

And I just kind of freaked out and kept writing ses and ues

and they were like, ah, that's fine.

Maybe Atsuko won't notice.

Put it in the stocking.

And that's when I said, Uncle,

why didn't you just write Stacey?

You know I was going by that at that time

and then he looked me straight in the eyes and he goes

because that's not your name,

which is funny because my uncle, he goes by Paul.

So thinking back now to that Christmas,

it was really kind of a family affair

to make sure that I had a lovely Christmas.

Now that I'm older, I've embraced my uniqueness.

Now, we do Christmas and our normal way,

which is me making my mom, grandma, and husband

watch as I do a one-woman stand-up show for them.

And they're forced to watch until I'm done.

And that's what Christmas is all about: me.

(gentle music)

That's fine.

Maybe Atsuko won't notice.

Put it in the stocking.

(Atsuko grunting)

Honey, it's finished.

Put it on the tree.

Put it on the tree.

(gentle chiming)