Name: F-Boy 101 | KC Shornima | Stand Up Comedy
Uploaded: 2024-01-17T07:00:05.000Z
Duration: 10 min 40 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

I've had a lot of really supportive friends, you know?

I've had a lot of really supportive guy friends.

Just a bunch of guys that I was like, I didn't even know were friends like that, you know?

One of them was like, "It feels like you're friend zoning me. I was so nice to you, I took you to the airport."

I was like, "My mom takes me to the airport all the time. And I never fuck her."

She's never like, "You're mom-zoning me."

Dating's gonna be really hard for me because I am banned from dating sites.

I was drunk one night and I was on Bumble and Tinder.

And for my bio, I wrote, "I'm gonna find your family and I'm gonna kill them."

They'd be like, "What are you up to tonight?"

I was like, "I don't know, where does your family live?"

That's when I was like, men are way too horny, okay?

Like, I think men are willing to say and do anything when they're horny, you know?

Yeah, like I think the biggest feminist I've ever met is just a horny guy at a bar at 2 a.m.

They're willing to give up their right to vote to go home with you.

No, I've been horny too. I've been watching porn and so have you.

It's not just me racking up 70 million views per video, okay?

I think it's hard to watch porn as a woman, right?

Because porn's very unrealistic, you know?

Like, I was watching this porn the other day that said, "Fucking The Babysitter While My Wife Is in The Shower."

I was like, why is the babysitter here if both parents are home?

Because I think the scariest thing a man can do to you on a first date is he will, you know, like follow you home and kill you.

But a woman on a first date will just out of nowhere be like, "So, what's your relationship with your parents like?"

And I'm like, "I think you should kill me."

I am Asian and my parents ask me why I go to therapy.

And I was like, "Oh, do you remember when I was a kid? And you guys raised me."

We just have a mutual friend in common, my mom.

He always talks to me like we're two strangers who met at a party and there's a lull in the conversation.

I'm like, "Don't worry about it. It's my birthday party, but."

They do treat all my childhood trauma like the North Korean government treats their problems.

They're always like, "You're not sad. It's just Western propaganda."

I've been talking about my breakup in therapy.

Like, have you guys ever been on the train and you're like, I think I'm gonna cry on this subway right now, you know?

And then like the guy sitting in front of you is like, "Oh yeah, that's what I get off on."

And you're like, everything reminds me of him.

I was on the train the other day and I was listening to this Etta James song and there's a line in the song where she goes, "Something deep in my soul said, cry girl."

And I was like, oh my God, I think I'm gonna cry.

But it's really hard to listen to blues and cry about a guy who's in a pickleball league.

Those songs are written about men who work in mines, okay?

Not some guy who still takes gummy vitamins.

I'm not gonna cry about a guy who can't swallow a pill, okay?

I hooked up with a really hot guy recently.

He's the kind of hot where he dates models, you know?

And then after we hooked up, he goes, "I just wanna be careful how we go about this because you're not like the other women I date. You're like a real person."

It's like men don't know where to end a sentence.

Every guy I've dated will be like, "You're the most beautiful woman in the world, to me."

It's like, who cares about your opinion, dude?

I did like that line because it's such a fuck boy line, right?

Like, you're so real, I'm just not ready for something real is fuck boy 101.

Because every fuck boy acts like they're really deep and vulnerable, but some sort of gypsy curse has made them have meaningless sex for the rest of their lives.

They all act like when they were 11, a big Scottish man with a beard came up to them and was like, "You're a fuck boy, Harry."