THEO: Oh, yeah, right, we do.

Woman: ♪ HEY, NOW... ♪

♪ HEY, WOW... ♪

♪ HERE'S HOW ♪

♪ COME AND READ ♪

♪ BETWEEN THE LIONS ♪

Chorus: ♪ COME ON ♪

♪ COME IN ♪

♪ BEGIN ♪

♪ THE WORLD AWAITS ♪

Woman: ♪ BETWEEN THE LIONS ♪

♪ BETWEEN THE COVERS OF A BOOK ♪

♪ IT'S TIME TO LOOK BETWEEN THE LIONS ♪

♪ BEHOLD THE TALES BEYOND THE TAILS ♪

Chorus: ♪ BEHIND THE DOOR ♪

♪ BECOME, EXPLORE ♪

♪ COME IN BETWEEN THE LIONS ♪

♪ BEGIN BETWEEN THE LIONS ♪

♪ BE HERE BETWEEN THE LIONS! ♪

Man: IT'S BABS CAPLAN!

IT IS HER, ISN'T IT?

Theo: FIND EVERYTHING YOU NEED THERE, ROBERT?

GOOD, GOOD.

OOH, WATCH YOUR HEADS!

I'LL HAVE TO COME BACK FOR THOSE.

YOUNG MAN, YOUNG MAN

ISN'T THAT THE FABULOUS WRITER, BABS CAPLAN?

OOH, WHY, YES, YES, IT IS.

SHE OFTEN COMES HERE TO MURMUR AND GESTURE.

BOTH?

OH, MY WORD...

KEVIN, COME QUICKLY.

LOOK AT-- I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

IT'S BABS CAPLAN!

OH, CLEO, LOOK!

SHE'S FABULOUS!

OH, LOOK HOW SHE'S BEING A WRITER.

OH!

SORRY.

AND THE PAPER-- OH, SHE'S SO GOOD.

( sighs )

NEXT TIME I'LL WEAR A HARD HAT WHEN I COME INTO THIS LIBRARY.

EVERYONE, COME QUICKLY!

IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT, MS. CAPLAN?

I AM DONE!

MY LATEST STORY IS... COMPLETE.

THAT'S ALL?

I THOUGHT THAT SOMETHING WAS WRONG.

YOU HAD US WORRIED.

"THAT'S ALL"?!

WHY, THIS...

BEING WORRIED DOESN'T MAKE YOU HUNGRY, DOES IT?

HMM, A LITTLE.

OH, BUT WE JUST ATE.

GOOD.

"THAT'S ALL"?!

WHY, THIS COULD BE

THE GREATEST STORY ANYONE'S EVER WRITTEN.

UH, MS. CAPLAN, COULD WE BE THE FIRST

TO HEAR THE GREATEST STORY EVER WRITTEN?

PLEASE?

WHY, YES... I THINK YOU'RE WORTHY.

OH, HOW EXCITING-- CLEO...

GATHER ROUND, GATHER ROUND.

( squealing, then clearing throat )

( loud crash )

LET'S FIND SOMEPLACE ELSE TO READ, OKAY?

YES, GOOD IDEA, MS. CAPLAN.

I THINK... FOLLOW ME.

I'M WALKING, I'M WALKING...

( confusion of voices )

OKAY?

Others: MM-HMM. YES. OKAY.

"THE OLD MAN" BY BABS CAPLAN.

( thunder, wind blowing )

Babs:

IT'S ALL RIGHT, LEONA.

WHAT...

WHAT WAS THE STORY HE TOLD, MS. CAPLAN?

Babs:

Leona: OLD MAN... ANOTHER STORY...

( shivering ): OH...

( chuckling )

Babs:

"IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT..."

( laughing )

( crashes )

( snickering, chuckling )

WHAT, WHAT...

WHAT IS SO FUNNY?

YES, WHAT?!

SORRY, NO OFFENSE.

I WROTE A SCARY STORY, NOT A FUNNY ONE.

WELL, IT STARTED OUT SCARY, BUT THEN...

( laughing ): IT GOT FUNNY.

( mocking scary music )

NO, NO, LIONEL

IT WAS SCARY THE WHOLE TIME.

OH, THE OLD MAN...

THE... THE THUNDER...

THE WINDOW, THE CURTAINS...

( screams )

I LIKE SCARY.

WHILE IT'S ALWAYS GRATIFYING TO TERRIFY A CHILD

I WANT TO APPEAL TO A BROADER MARKET.

OH, WHERE DID I GO WRONG, WHERE?

YOU KNOW, BABS

A GOOD STORY SHOULD HAVE

A BEGINNING, A MIDDLE AND AN...

( interrupting )

I'M THINKING.

HMM, THIS STORY, IT MUST CONTAIN TOO MUCH FUNNY...

AND NOT ENOUGH... SCARY!

YES, OH!

I CAN FIX THAT.

LESS FUNNY, MORE SCARY.

LESS FUNNY, MORE SCARY...

MORE SCARY?

YES!

SCATTER, SCATTER!

ARTISTE AT WORK.

I NEED ROOM...

ROOM, OH, RIGHT YOU ARE.

I'LL GO... THIS WAY.

Cleo: COME ALONG, DEAR.

HUH? WHAT?

OH, OH, OH, SORRY.

Announcer: AND NOW, ANOTHER OLD MAN, BARNABY B. BUSTERFIELD III

HAS A STORY TO TELL.

OH, THANK YOU.

THERE ONCE...

WE INTERRUPT THIS STORY

TO BRING YOU SOMETHING MUCH MORE INTERESTING.

WHAT?!

AND NOW, LOVERS OF THE VOWELS "A," "E," "I," "O," "U"

AND SOMETIMES "Y"

GIVE IT UP FOR MARTHA READER AND THE VOWELLES

SINGING THE SHORT "A" SOUND FROM THEIR SMASH WORD, "FAN"!

( singing repeated short "a" sound to soul tune )

( song ends; cheering and applause )

( sounding out words in computer-generated voices )

( repeating "r" sound )

OH...

( repeating "r" sound )

( making short "a" sound )

RA... RA...

( making "m" sound )

RAM, "RAM."

( crashing )

AND NOW, FUN WITH CHICKEN JANE.

TODAY:

Woman ( singing ):

( squawks )

( clucking )

( squawking in alarm )

( squawking )

( sounding out word )

"SC... RAM."

"SCRAM!"

Dot:

( squawks loudly )

( crashing )

( squawks sadly )

( squawks pitifully )

( sighs )

COME QUICKLY!

EVERYONE, COME!

QUICKLY.

WE'RE COMING.

HERE WE ARE.

WHAT IS IT, MS. BABS CAPLAN?

I HAVE MADE MY STORY SCARIER--

MUCH, MUCH SCARIER.

OOH, THAT'S GOOD.

I HOPE YOU'RE READY.

OH, I'M READY.

NO, NO, NO... WE NEED SOME ATMOSPHERE.

CLICK!

MOUSE CENTERING ON COMMAND.

CLICK, COULD WE HAVE SOME SCARY MUSIC, PLEASE?

INITIATING SCARY UNDERSCORE.

( scary music playing )

Babs ( in