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  • (crickets chirping)

  • (gentle music)

  • (clock ticking)

  • (clock continues ticking)

  • (clock continues ticking)

  • (clock continues ticking)

  • (clock continues ticking)

  • (gentle music continues)

  • (door opens)

  • (light switch clicks)

  • (gentle music continues)

  • (gentle music continues)

  • (light switch clicks)

  • (gentle music continues)

  • (book rustling)

  • (papers rustling)

  • (Mama exhales)

  • (gentle music continues)

  • (dishware clattering)

  • (pie tin clatters) - Oh, shit!

  • (Mama exhales)

  • (Mama exhales)

  • (back cracks)

  • (pie tin shuffling)

  • (cupboard door closes)

  • (dishware clattering)

  • - Mama.

  • Mama, what the hell are you doing

  • in here in the middle of the night?

  • - Did I wake you?

  • - Playing the cymbals like that? Of course you woke me.

  • (Mama exhales)

  • Are you all right? Do you need something?

  • - Just go on back to bed. I'm fine.

  • - Well, what are you looking for?

  • - [Mama] Brown sugar.

  • - Brown sugar? At 4:10 in the morning?

  • - [Mama] Yep.

  • - Why?

  • - I need it.

  • - You need brown sugar at 4:10 in the morning?

  • - That's right. - Well, you've finally

  • lost it.

  • - Why don't you go on back to bed?

  • - What are you doing?

  • - I'm making an apple pie.

  • - At 4:10 in the morning?

  • - That's right. - Why?

  • - Because it's your birthday and you like my apple pie.

  • - Oh, well, thank you very much.

  • But can't this wait 'til later?

  • - I'm 85 years old.

  • How much later do you think I got?

  • - You're not going anywhere for a while, trust me.

  • - Don't you be too sure about that.

  • I have got a busy schedule.

  • - Can't you at least wait 'til the sun comes up?

  • - No. I can't!

  • I woke up this morning knowing I needed

  • to make an apple pie first thing.

  • And I'm gonna make an apple pie first thing

  • if it's the last thing that I do.

  • And if all you're gonna do is criticize,

  • you can just go right back to bed.

  • - All right.

  • - Hey, why don't you help me?

  • - Help you? - Yeah, help me.

  • - It's 4:10 in the morning!

  • - We're both awake. - Not by choice.

  • Besides, I don't know how to make your apple pie.

  • - Well, it's about time you learned, don't you think?

  • I'm not gonna be around here to bake them for you forever.

  • - You are out of your mind.

  • - Grab those apples off the top of the fridge.

  • - Good God almighty.

  • Well, can I at least make some coffee first?

  • You got a running start on me. I got to catch up.

  • - Do what you need to do. I'm gonna go on about my business.

  • (Dory exhales)

  • (dial clicking)

  • (flame roaring)

  • (cutlery clattering)

  • - It's 4:10 in the morning, you know that, don't you?

  • - No, it's not. - Oh, yes, it is.

  • - No, it's not! It's 4:15.

  • (Dory laughs)

  • (spoon clinking)

  • - All right.

  • What can I do?

  • - Did you wash your hands?

  • - What am I, eight?

  • - There's a piecrust in the bottom of the freezer.

  • Why don't you get that out?

  • - [Dory] Oh, you're not gonna make a crust from scratch?

  • - Who the hell's got time to make a crust from scratch?

  • I haven't done that since you went through puberty.

  • I'd have to get up two hours ago

  • if I was gonna a make a crust from scratch.

  • No, I'm not making a crust from scratch.

  • Store-bought is just fine.

  • - Mama, this piecrust has been in here for over two years.

  • - [Mama] That's all right. It's still good.

  • - You sure it hasn't gone rancid?

  • - [Mama] You know what that's made out of?

  • - Yeah, flour and shortening.

  • - That's right. You know what shortening is?

  • - What? - Petroleum.

  • It's a fossil fuel.

  • If it can live in the middle

  • of the earth for 5 million years,

  • two more on my freezer's shelf ain't gonna hurt it any.

  • - Oh, shortening's not a fossil fuel.

  • - Suit yourself.

  • I don't have time to quibble about facts

  • that may or may not be true.

  • - Where do you want this?

  • - Take it out of the plastic and put it in here.

  • - All right, well, you don't want it in the tin?

  • Look, it comes in a tin. - Good God, no,

  • I don't want it in the tin.

  • Those flimsy aluminum tins aren't worth squat.

  • You need a good solid glass dish to make a piecrust.

  • Now, this is one of those nine-inch piecrusts.

  • But we're gonna put it in a 10-inch glass dish.

  • At least I think this is 10 inches.

  • 24 centimeters? What the hell is that?

  • Is that...

  • 10, 24...

  • Well, I don't care what they say, this is 10 inches.

  • So put it in here in the center and let it thaw.

  • - All right.

  • Okay. Like that?

  • - No, not like that, that's not the center.

  • It's got to be in the center.

  • Because once it's thawed,

  • you're not gonna be able to move it.

  • - But the crust doesn't reach all the way to the edge.

  • - That's because it's one of those

  • nine-inch crust in a 10-inch pan.

  • But they always give you more crust than you need.

  • Once it's thawed, we're gonna press it out real thin.

  • If you don't press it out real thin,

  • then it's just a thick crust.

  • And who the hell wants a mouthful of crust?

  • Now, set that over there.

  • - All right. What about the tin?

  • - What about it? - Want to save the tin?

  • - No, I don't want to save the tin.

  • I don't need a tin. Do you need a tin?

  • - No, I don't need a tin. - Well, then get rid of it.

  • - All right. (pie tin clatters)

  • - Now, the first thing I do is I make my crumb topping.

  • (Mama exhales)

  • (knife clinking)

  • Now, into this little bowl,

  • I want you to put two tablespoons of softened butter.

  • Now, I need to get my cups.

  • I need a half a cup, a third of a cup, a...

  • (spoons clattering)

  • What are you doing?

  • - [Dory] I'm measuring two tablespoons of butter

  • off this other stick so I can get just the right amount.

  • - Oh, here, give that to me. (Dory exhales)

  • Here.

  • Now, this is two tablespoons of butter.

  • - Well, how do you know that's exact?

  • - I don't. But it's exact enough.

  • That's what two tablespoons of butter look like.

  • I've been doing this long enough to know

  • what two tablespoons of butter looks like.

  • And that's it.

  • Now, to this two tablespoons of butter,

  • I want you to add a third of cup of flour.

  • - Third of a cup of flour.

  • - That's right, a third of a cup of flour.

  • (refrigerator door closes)

  • Then we need a third of a cup of brown sugar.