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  • If you struggle with having a healthy view of yourself, then this video is for you.

  • While some of us might think that self-love is a narcissistic and self-centered pursuit that couldn't be further from the truth.

  • Researchers Eric Fields and Gina R. Kuperberg from the Department of Psychology at Tufts University explain that positively biased self-views are argued to be a key component of healthy psychological functioning, influencing self-esteem, motivation and determination.

  • Indeed, a lack of self-positive bias or even a self-negativity bias may contribute to mood and anxiety disorder.

  • So if self-love seems frivolous to you, here are a few practical ways to learn to love yourself.

  • Here are a few tips to help you on your way.

  • Know yourself.

  • Do you ever wonder how some people seem to just be so comfortable with themselves and know themselves inside out?

  • Does your brain struggle with answering when you hear the dreaded?

  • So tell me about yourself.

  • A lot of us have been there and a fun solution actually exists for those moments.

  • Take a piece of paper or your notes app and put your name on top, divide the page into four parts, label these quadrants as likes, dislikes, weaknesses and strengths.

  • Now start filling in the spaces under those quadrants.

  • You don't have to do them in order just go with the flow.

  • It definitely helps to be alone and allocate time for this exercise, however long you feel comfortable

  • Also, save these pages because there will be many.

  • The purpose of this activity is to essentially get to know all of you, flaws and all, and to accept and embrace everything.

  • Think of it as dating yourself.

  • You hang out with yourself, giving you all of your attention and really engaging with who you are.

  • You will over time and with consistent practice, truly get to know who you are and what you're capable of.

  • An article by Certified Applied Positive Psychology coach, Kelly Miller, said that some of the benefits of knowing yourself are improved self-control and self-regulation, increased creative achievement and high self-esteem and pride.

  • So you stand to gain so much from knowing who you are.

  • Negative self talk.

  • Compassion researcher Dr. Kristen Neff asks, "What type of language do you use with yourself when you notice a flaw or a mistake made?"

  • Do you insult yourself? Or do you take a more kind and understanding tone?

  • If you are highly self critical, how does that make you feel inside?

  • Paying attention to how you internally talk to yourself is the most important step in learning how to cultivate self love.

  • Do you find that your inner critic is more ruthless than others?

  • Does that inner voice sound like a recording, repeating, hurtful and discouraging things, constantly feeding you fear?

  • Do you tend to beat yourself up with cruel self-talk?

  • Do you not allow yourself to do anything until it's perfect or close enough for you and still judge yourself for not being good enough?

  • This behavior is harmful to you as it affects your sense of self-worth and self-esteem.

  • As humans, we struggle with some form of doubt every now and then.

  • However, as we enter into a new chapter of being loving to ourselves, the negative self-talk has to go rituals.

  • Do you start your day on the wrong foot?

  • Or maybe you feel disconnected from yourself.

  • Creating a ritual, be it daily or weekly can help ease these feelings.

  • Rituals are meaningful practices with a deep sense of purpose.

  • As opposed to a habit, rituals require you to be a bit more mindful and focused.

  • Take time out of your busy day for self-care rituals, whether it's physical activity, meditating, journaling or praying.

  • Clinical psychologist Dr. Deborah Koshaba says the benefits of creating these personal rituals are you'll love yourself more when you take better care of your basic needs.

  • People high in self love, nourish themselves daily through healthy activities like good nutrition, exercise, proper sleep, intimacy and healthy social interactions.

  • Compassionate.

  • By not giving yourself any grace for being flawed or human, you stunt your own growth and withhold love from yourself.

  • Self-compassion is similar to showing compassion to other people.

  • It's a practice of noticing that you are suffering and then offering yourself understanding and kindness.

  • Kristen Neff Ph.D. stated in her book, "Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself," that you may try to change in ways that allow you to be more healthy and happy.

  • But this is done because you care about yourself, not because you're worthless or unacceptable as you are.

  • A suggestion here is to practice embracing whatever emotion you feel instead of repressing it or letting it completely overwhelm you.

  • You acknowledge it as it is and also how you can be a latter.

  • Say you're feeling sad, you acknowledge that emotion is normal, that's currently how you're feeling and you can settle into it and it can eventually pass.

  • Love language.

  • Author Gary Chapman's book, "The Five Love Languages" is about the ways that people show and receive love.

  • They are words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, physical touch and quality time.

  • These love languages can also be applied to the self in many different ways, depending on the love language that you resonate with.

  • Licensed clinical counselor, Joyce Marter, expressed a sentiment on how to use this system for your own personal well-being.

  • Imagine how you treat yourself on a daily basis as if you were another person in a relationship with you.

  • By discovering your self-love language you can incorporate daily self-love practices that are specially catered to you and make you feel better.

  • If you have receiving gifts as your love language, you can, for example, buy the things you want that bring positivity into your life or investing in your interests or bucket list experiences.

  • The purpose of this is to learn to become comfortable in your own presence.

  • Self-reflection.

  • We can be extremely hard on ourselves, especially if it's in the aftermath of a setback.

  • Sometimes things don't go according to plans, we punish ourselves for mistakes when instead, we could learn from them.

  • Instead of self-blame, you can use these incidents as an opportunity for personal growth.

  • Some examples of self-reflection can take the form of a weekly review, a journaling session, a regular meeting with a trusted friend to reflect on your recent experiences and challenges or in therapy.

  • Remember, there are no failures if you have grown from your mistakes.

  • There are only lessons learned.

  • The journey to true self-compassion and love is a long one, but you shouldn't let that discourage you.

  • Instead, think of all the versions of yourself you'll get to meet and the experiences you'll have as you devote yourself to you.

  • As you can see, just a few changes can nurture more self-love.

  • If you choose just one or two of these self love actions to work on, you'll begin to accept and love yourself more.

  • If you've gotten this far, we'd like to thank you for taking the time to watch this to the end.

  • We hope that you've enjoyed it and that you feel a bit more confident about implementing more self loving rituals into your life.

  • And remember you matter.

If you struggle with having a healthy view of yourself, then this video is for you.

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