Name: Black Siri | Gabriel Iglesias
Uploaded: 2024-02-07T21:01:20.000Z
Duration: 5 min 17 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

Past simple

So I got some Tweets about the first show.

Past continuous

People were asking Martin because, you know, people saw Stand Up Revolution season one and they noticed that your hair is different.

Your hair is actually three inches longer than it was last year.

You know, I'm just glad I picked up inches somewhere, bro.

What's different, bro? 'Cause last year, you know, it was getting longer, kind of starts getting.

I wish I could bring back the '80s. I went hard in the '80s, bro.

You know that show Remember the'80s? I'm glad they made it because I forgot half the crap that I did.

And you guys have no idea. This man right here, OK, if he looks like a rock stars, it's because he parties hard.

I know how hard he parties. Ozo knows how hard he parties.

After season one of Stand-Up Revolution, we went on tour for a while.

We went all over the US and as a gift to all my buddies that were on the tour with me, I gave everybody an iPhone 4S. Yeah, we're good.

Martin was so excited because it had this feature, it still has this feature called Siri where you hit the button and you can talk to the phone and it'll help you out.

Like you say, "Oh call John." And it's like, you know, "Calling John."

You know, it's really, it's really, really cool.

But Martin, you see how he is, you know, he messes with the phone.

He's like, "Siri, tell me something dirty," and the phone takes everything literal.

So it's like, "Would you like me to locate a car wash?"

So anyways, you guys, I had a lot of fun watching them play with the phone, but then a couple weeks go by and we're doing a show in Northern California in San Jose.

And we had a really good time that night doing the show and the people invited us to hang out and we had a bunch of drinks and someone said, "You wanna go eat?" and I was like, "Yeah," and someone said, "Uou wanna go drink?"

And so Martin and I parted ways for about an hour and then we met up an hour later back at the, you know, at the hotel and I'm walking in okay, and he's gone.

I'm like, "Who are you?" - "I don't know, but he fell."

You know, and drag him in and he doesn't even take off his clothes.

He gets into the bed with everything on, including his shoes.

So the next morning, guys, our team comes over to my side of the room and he's like, "Bro!"

"Are you okay?" - "Bro, I peed on myself!"

And my response was actually, "Again?" because he's partied that hard in the past Martinez partied so hard, you guys, that there's been times where he's had to throw away mattresses.

So I go, "Martin, why are you taking it so much worse?"

In the past whenever that happened, he laughed about, "Oh, bro. Look what happened. Party like a rock star." You know.

He goes, "Bro, you don't understand. My phone was in my pocket."

I had a heart attack and I felt bad because Martin was like, "Bro, it's a new phone."

I said, "Hey, don't worry, I got you covered, man."

And so I said, "Listen, I'm gonna go get you a new phone."

So we take a nice little trip to the mall and we found an Apple store and we get to the front and there's a girl there with a clipboard and they're always trying to, "How can I help you?"

And, "Well, we wanna see about replacing my friend's phone."

I go, "No, it's actually, it, it got damaged."

I go, "It kinda got wet," and then she looks at Martin, "Oh, did someone drop it in the sink?"

She said, "Oh, he dropped it in the toilet?"

She goes, "Well, we have a few in stock. Would you like a black iPhone or would you like a white iPhone?"

I said, "Well, you know, Martin and I have the same color iPhone."

So I says, "Just so we don't have the confusion of always grabbing each other's phones."

I said, "Martin, would you mind getting a black iPhone?"

He goes, "Yeah, but um does the black iPhone have Siri?"

And I'm like, "What kind of a question is that? Why wouldn't the black iphone have Siri?" right?

And then I started thinking, can you imagine if a black i{Phone was really a black iPhone?

You know Martin gets in the car, "Siri, what's the temperature outside?"

"Why don't you stick your head out the window?"

"You better not pee on me. Ok? I ain't like that white iphone."