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Okay, Claire, that is just about enough.
Mitchell suffered a trauma, and I don't
appreciate your mocking tone.
Excuse us. Okay.
Thank you. Sweetie. Okay, look, we.
Both know two things for certain.
I look fabulous in coral, and you didn't
fight off any intruder.
There is a back story.
In the summer of 1984, inspired by the
Karate Kid, I went through a martial arts
phase. When cam brought those nunchucks
home. It was just too much to resist.
Hello old friend.
30 years later, once again, it was time to
sweep the leg.
Oh oh. Oh, God.
Oh, no.
Why didn't you just tell me?
I don't know, you walked in and you asked if
there was a break in and I was embarrassed
and possibly concussed, so I just.
I went with it.
Besides, my dad and Claire cannot know.
Okay. That whole Karate Kid summer, they
called me Kung Soo.
Turkey is going to be ready in ten minutes.
Where is Phil?
I'll let him know.
Okay?
Ten minutes.
I can't take it.
Just breathe. Dad, we are breaking this fear
of yours.
I'm dying here.
Hey, hey, hey, look at me.
Do you want to spend the rest of your life
as an open space magician?
Yeah.
Peace was restored, and we bestowed them with
our nation's highest honor.
Naming football teams for them.
Joe, what play is this?
I wasn't in a play. I don't go to school
anymore.
Oh.
All right. Fine. We got kicked out.
Okay. A little argument with the principal.
You've been lying to me while I was
celebrating you as an amazing father.
Hey, Gloria. This is weird.
I downloaded your my step counter data onto
my computer, and it's showing your path.
This morning was the same route my mom took
in her race. Mm.
I was never going to get 100,000 steps.
But then I learned that Claire was going on
a turkey trot.
The second time I hugged her, it was a
little harder because she was really wet.
So I'm basically just your step counter mule.
I thought you cared about my race.
I love you very much, Claire, but your
exercise doesn't really interest me.
Hang on. When did Claire run past Pritchett's
closets? Because this thing says she never
got near it.
Well, that's probably the step counter.
Made a
Mistake.
Oh, yeah? Did it or did you take a little
shortcut? No.
I was probably going so fast, I couldn't even
keep up with me. I have a picture of it,
Luke. There you go.
That is me clearly running in front of
Pritchett's closet.
Oh, yeah? Yeah, with the Reagan Bush poster
in the window. Huh?
The photo is a fake.
It's not my fault.
Manny made
It. Manny was photoshopping everything, so
Joe was in real danger.
I did not realize how easy it would be for
you to connect those dots.
Pretty disappointed in you, Luke.
Well, you know, it's easy to see where he
learned it from. His mother is a cheater.
What?
Oh, don't get so hot and bothered.
Your makeup's already running.
And what, do you have a Chinese character on
your bruise?
It's probably an imprint from the Intruder's
ring. I'm sure he was in a gang of some
sort.
Just give it up, Mitchell.
He knocked himself out with some nunchucks
that I confiscated as acting vice principal.
Oh, my God, Kung Su is back!
Daddy! Did you hear that?
But cam?
Cam didn't really win the football game.
He stole the last play from the lady coach.
Accidentally, I overheard it on a walkie
talkie that I require as an acting vice
principal, which is a position I'm pretty
proud of because I'm basically a sheriff.
You're not. Yes.
I am basically a sheriff.
I wear a hat. I have a badge.
Hey, dad is doing
His trick, and he's never done it
Before. He could die.
Come on. What trick?
Oh, Phil, honey, wait.
You don't have to do this. Yes, I do.
I'm the only loser
In a remarkable family of winners.
No, no, no, we are not all winners.
It turned out we all stink.
It doesn't matter.
I don't want to live a life
Ruled by fear.
I have to do this trick today.
Although it is getting hard to breathe.
Don't stop, Dad. You can do this.
I believe in you.
Not helping, honey. Vvery interesting.
Okay, I'm just going to try to barrel through
this. It's Normandy.
I'm an American gGI named Tony Rosetti.
I'm from Brooklyn, and I love my mama's home
cooking.
But I don't think I'm gonna be able to get
out. Please keep talking as Tony Rosetti or
as Phil?
What is wrong with you Cowards?
Phil needs help.
Kung Sue's back at it.
Oh! Oh, it's too late to get out.
No. This was a mistake.
Something's wrong. Dad.
Oh, God. Phil! Phil!
Oh my God, we're.
Holy crap. Where'd he go?
Private Renzetti reporting Operation Overlord
is a success.
Oh, cocktails are on me.
That was amazing.
I gotta hand it to you, Phil.
You get the big turkey leg.
Let's take this party to the table.
Come on, hippies.