Subtitles section Play video
-
Okay, Claire, that is just about enough.
-
Mitchell suffered a trauma, and I don't
-
appreciate your mocking tone.
-
Excuse us. Okay.
-
Thank you. Sweetie. Okay, look, we.
-
Both know two things for certain.
-
I look fabulous in coral, and you didn't
-
fight off any intruder.
-
There is a back story.
-
In the summer of 1984, inspired by the
-
Karate Kid, I went through a martial arts
-
phase. When cam brought those nunchucks
-
home. It was just too much to resist.
-
Hello old friend.
-
30 years later, once again, it was time to
-
sweep the leg.
-
Oh oh. Oh, God.
-
Oh, no.
-
Why didn't you just tell me?
-
I don't know, you walked in and you asked if
-
there was a break in and I was embarrassed
-
and possibly concussed, so I just.
-
I went with it.
-
Besides, my dad and Claire cannot know.
-
Okay. That whole Karate Kid summer, they
-
called me Kung Soo.
-
Turkey is going to be ready in ten minutes.
-
Where is Phil?
-
I'll let him know.
-
Okay?
-
Ten minutes.
-
I can't take it.
-
Just breathe. Dad, we are breaking this fear
-
of yours.
-
I'm dying here.
-
Hey, hey, hey, look at me.
-
Do you want to spend the rest of your life
-
as an open space magician?
-
Yeah.
-
Peace was restored, and we bestowed them with
-
our nation's highest honor.
-
Naming football teams for them.
-
Joe, what play is this?
-
I wasn't in a play. I don't go to school
-
anymore.
-
Oh.
-
All right. Fine. We got kicked out.
-
Okay. A little argument with the principal.
-
You've been lying to me while I was
-
celebrating you as an amazing father.
-
Hey, Gloria. This is weird.
-
I downloaded your my step counter data onto
-
my computer, and it's showing your path.
-
This morning was the same route my mom took
-
in her race. Mm.
-
I was never going to get 100,000 steps.
-
But then I learned that Claire was going on
-
a turkey trot.
-
The second time I hugged her, it was a
-
little harder because she was really wet.
-
So I'm basically just your step counter mule.
-
I thought you cared about my race.
-
I love you very much, Claire, but your
-
exercise doesn't really interest me.
-
Hang on. When did Claire run past Pritchett's
-
closets? Because this thing says she never
-
got near it.
-
Well, that's probably the step counter.
-
Made a
-
Mistake.
-
Oh, yeah? Did it or did you take a little
-
shortcut? No.
-
I was probably going so fast, I couldn't even
-
keep up with me. I have a picture of it,
-
Luke. There you go.
-
That is me clearly running in front of
-
Pritchett's closet.
-
Oh, yeah? Yeah, with the Reagan Bush poster
-
in the window. Huh?
-
The photo is a fake.
-
It's not my fault.
-
Manny made
-
It. Manny was photoshopping everything, so
-
Joe was in real danger.
-
I did not realize how easy it would be for
-
you to connect those dots.
-
Pretty disappointed in you, Luke.
-
Well, you know, it's easy to see where he
-
learned it from. His mother is a cheater.
-
What?
-
Oh, don't get so hot and bothered.
-
Your makeup's already running.
-
And what, do you have a Chinese character on
-
your bruise?
-
It's probably an imprint from the Intruder's
-
ring. I'm sure he was in a gang of some
-
sort.
-
Just give it up, Mitchell.
-
He knocked himself out with some nunchucks
-
that I confiscated as acting vice principal.
-
Oh, my God, Kung Su is back!
-
Daddy! Did you hear that?
-
But cam?
-
Cam didn't really win the football game.
-
He stole the last play from the lady coach.
-
Accidentally, I overheard it on a walkie
-
talkie that I require as an acting vice
-
principal, which is a position I'm pretty
-
proud of because I'm basically a sheriff.
-
You're not. Yes.
-
I am basically a sheriff.
-
I wear a hat. I have a badge.
-
Hey, dad is doing
-
His trick, and he's never done it
-
Before. He could die.
-
Come on. What trick?
-
Oh, Phil, honey, wait.
-
You don't have to do this. Yes, I do.
-
I'm the only loser
-
In a remarkable family of winners.
-
No, no, no, we are not all winners.
-
It turned out we all stink.
-
It doesn't matter.
-
I don't want to live a life
-
Ruled by fear.
-
I have to do this trick today.
-
Although it is getting hard to breathe.
-
Don't stop, Dad. You can do this.
-
I believe in you.
-
Not helping, honey. Vvery interesting.
-
Okay, I'm just going to try to barrel through
-
this. It's Normandy.
-
I'm an American gGI named Tony Rosetti.
-
I'm from Brooklyn, and I love my mama's home
-
cooking.
-
But I don't think I'm gonna be able to get
-
out. Please keep talking as Tony Rosetti or
-
as Phil?
-
What is wrong with you Cowards?
-
Phil needs help.
-
Kung Sue's back at it.
-
Oh! Oh, it's too late to get out.
-
No. This was a mistake.
-
Something's wrong. Dad.
-
Oh, God. Phil! Phil!
-
Oh my God, we're.
-
Holy crap. Where'd he go?
-
Private Renzetti reporting Operation Overlord
-
is a success.
-
Oh, cocktails are on me.
-
That was amazing.
-
I gotta hand it to you, Phil.
-
You get the big turkey leg.
-
Let's take this party to the table.
-
Come on, hippies.
