I wanna be the drummer from Coldplay so badly, 'cause that dude is rich as shit and no one knows who the fuck he is.

No one knows who the drummer from Coldplay is.

He could be here and no one would know.

It could be you. It could be you. It could be you.

I'm not sure it's an Indian woman but it could be.

We don't know.

I'm obsessed with the idea that this guy has the best life in the world.

And I was telling my friend about this and she tried to tell me something that she was trying to portray as a bad thing.

Apparently he loves Game of Thrones, so he said to HBO, "Can I be in Game of Thrones?"

And they were like, "Yeah, man, you're the drummer from Coldplay. You can do literally anything you want."

"We'll restart the Sopranos if that's something that will make you happy, right?."

Now, he's in Game of Thrones.

Confession time. I don't watch Game of Thrones, but even I know the Red Wedding is an important episode of Game of Thrones, right?

He is in the Red Wedding. Guess what he is doing in the Red wedding.

He is the drummer in the wedding band.

That is the extent to which this guy's anonymity is a borderline superpower.

He is in the most famous episode of one of the most popular television shows in the world, doing the thing he is famous for and no one noticed.

That is Kaiser Souzai shit.

And my friend was telling me that she read a supposedly embarrassing story that one of the actors told.

One of the actors said that when they were shooting the Red Wedding, he was making small talk with the extras and he got round to the drummer from Coldplay and said, "Are you a full-time extra?"

And the guy was like, "No, I'm a musician."

So he said to the drummer from Coldplay, "Do you play on anything I might have heard of?"

To which, the drummer from Coldplay was presumably like, "Have you heard of all music? 'Cause I'm basically the drummer on all music."

And my friend tried to tell me this like, this was a sad thing.

She was like, "Oh, this guy's in Coldplay, but no one knows that he's in Coldplay. Isn't that sad?"

No, 'cause the problem with being in Coldplay is that people hate Coldplay.

People hate Coldplay so much.

And the people who hate Coldplay don't say things like, "Oh, it's not to my taste."

They say things like this, "I hate Coldplay."

But what you mean when you say that is, "I hate Chris Martin."

No one is angry with the drummer from Coldplay.

All of us have been like, "Oh, they're coming from Coldplay."

And I know what you're thinking.

You're thinking, "Nish, why are you so obsessed with the drummer from Coldplay?"

There's two other people in that band.

We don't know anything about them either.

And you know what?

You're right.

There's a guitar player and a bassist in Coldplay.

I wouldn't know them even if they were here.

I assume it's you two, but only 'cause he sat next to her and I spoke to her already.

That's all I've got to go on.

They have the exact same life as the drummer.

'Cause I did a bit of research into this.

Turns out Coldplay is one of those bands where they split the royalties equally.

So they have the exact same life as the drummer, apart from one detail.

They have the exact same life as the drummer.

They have the same level of wealth, access and anonymity.

But crucially, the drummer is sat down and that is the dream.